I am the perpetual optimist
Something right will come from this
Effort seemingly in vain
Something to remain
I didn’t lose
And neither did you

In matters of the heart
One day
Can be
An eternity

Your soul is old
But your problems are young
It's a dichotomy
The part of the journey
With the fork in the road
That hits right between
The young and the old
You stare down the problem
Quizzicaly
And the best you can do is say
"Ahhh!  **** me!"

Wonderment at what’s on
The horizon
And the determination
To get there

It’s not as dramatic as I make it sound
I’m not broken, or damaged, or bound
I was hoping he would come around
But he didn’t
And that’s ok
I am still happy
His reaction
(Or lack of it)
Honestly
Has nothing to do with me
Or maybe it’s all my fault
But ultimately
I can accept finality
And though I should be bummed out
I feel kind of relieved
It’s better to know
One way, or the other
Than to delude in a pipe dream
I gave it my best try
One day
I’m gonna read this poetry
And think
“Who was that guy?”

What was it?
The last thing you said to me?
It doesn’t stick in my memory
I didn’t pay enough attention
Apparently
And isn’t that the crux
Of you and me?
If I heard you talking now
I would listen
Attentively

I look at the door
Hopefully
Every time
A shadow appears

Awaiting your entrance
Breathlessly
Your appearance is
A sunrise to me
A more beautiful sight
I never did see

Memories that I can’t erase
Of an imaginary happy place
You and I could be
If you’d only notice me

Real and feel
Just have to rhyme
So I can write you a poem
About my real feelings
One more time

What’s to be gained from baring one’s soul
And then
Who will want to see it?
It’s a heavy task
Soul bearing unasked
A chore done in layers
And yet
A labor of love
When what is laid bare
Is unique and rare
Yet as common as
Dirt
Golden dirt

True genius
Seems to be
Annoying
People get overplayed
Especially the best
Become a cheap joke of themselves
Being best
Lends itself to characatarichsaurs
An ancient, magic mirror curse

My guy won’t be the type to ever say
“I’ll die for you.”  
He will say, “I’ll get us both through.”

I just found a treasure
Still in the field
Playing in sunshine gentle rays
I could pick it up
However
Who is to say
The field might be where treasures
Wish to stay

He left me better than I was found
Lots of treasures
I will always carry
I hope he can say the same about me
Reciprocity

I am simply just there
Always, on most days
“Here she comes, again.”
If anyone even happens to notice when
I am obscure me
A fixture of the scene
A branch in a forest of trees
A cow in the herd
Mooing lonely words
The farmer don’t notice me
And I suppose for that
I should feel relieved

I saw your poem about how you hadn’t posted in a while
Because you were waiting until you wrote something worthwhile
And I wanted to tell you
Something that’s true
Or, at least, it’s true for me
Of all the critics in the world there could possibly be
I am the WORST critic of my own poetry
I’ll think something is great
And it just sits there, ignored, in unloved fate
While the stuff I just put up because it was there,
Corny and ugly and reader beware
Seems to be my work to which people respond
There’s really no way to tell
Which of your poems will hit who and how many
So put them up!
And put them up plenty
Give us torrents
Give yourself the release
Share all that beautiful poetry
And don’t stress yourself over what you think people want to see
The worst they can do is ignore it
But that happens to everybody

Sometimes it’s almost subconscious
My attention goes to you first
I pretend I don’t notice
The warm in my skin
Over anything you’re in
I think you try to impress me
Or maybe somebody like me
I can tell what you’re looking for
And it’s something I think I might already be

You ain’t gonna listen
But leaving someone to continue
Upon a hopeless mission
Like this one

Not so fun
For me
At least
You must have got something
From it
It would have been easy to set me free
You chose to leave me outside
On the leash
Chained to a fantasy
And stay there
I would have always
But these **** opposable thumbs
Couldn’t agree

There is nothing wrong with it
But it could be more right
With the right One
Right is rare
When it comes to romance
At least for me
I envy those who have it
It is what I yearn for
A partner
So rare
Yet people find their partners all the time
It is Magic I cannot control
Even when I blatantly try
I have my One
Out of reach
Shooting way beyond my station
I suspect someone will come along
Who captures my attention
Which, admittedly, is not a
Hott commodity
No one around is romancing me
Yet I am haughty enough to believe
My attention is priceless
The realest thing you can give to a person is
Attention
Priceless Attention

I ain’t planning on leaving here
Willingly
If you ain’t planning on coming with me
I ain’t planning on staying endlessly
But I will, if that’s the way it has to be

Hard way learner
Back burner
Is where I seem to stay
Not one compliment
He will pay
Despite the nice things I always say
Maybe I should rearrange
Tactics, goals, or honesty
Cannot figure out
How to get him to notice me
Losing battles fought for love
Are still lost
At whatever cost
No silver-lined cloud
I just said all that **** out loud
Right in front of the crowd
Everyone with the ability to hear
Turning to me their deaf ear
Maybe the fault is with me
Babbling on uncomfortably
While I think I’m being unique and sweet
I cannot tell the perception of me
But it’s all I can be
Just me
Who no one hears and no one sees

Here we gather
Purveyors of angst and bliss
Speak of us how you wish
The long haired, freaky people
Have found their home
Here we gather
Prepare to roam

Clarity
A gift not often
Gladly received
Or given easily
I could write a poem about it
But I’m still stuck in the weeds

When I’m feelin’ cocky
I think of your ****
And even call it a ****
Most other men have a ****
(Some got a little *****)
But yours is a ****
I’m gonna get it hard as a rock
And ride that hammer around the block
Leave your *** in shock
And you’ll be on lock
….
****, just thinking about it….
Hot and flustered and blushed and  brash
Excuse me, for now
Gotta go…. um…take a bath

Young me and young you
Looking at your dad’s
***** mags

Pictures of oral ***
We both said “EW!”
EMPHATICALLY
“That’s something I will never do”
Call it rich or call it cheap
There’s a word I didn’t keep

I tend to set my sights high
Impossibly so, really
Go big or don’t bother
Sounds reasonable to me
You are part of all that
You’re probably out of my league
I could try to deny it
But it’s pretty easy to see
Well hey
No harm
No foul
It’s just a little thing that ends up to be
Of no bother to you
And
A whole lot of ***** poetry

I am the surprise
That appeared before your eyes
Surprises are scary
Chaotic
Addictive narcotic
It’s probably wise
To avoid the surprise

This is the little bug
Named Krista
🐜
She’s pretty easy to ignore
She’s caught in a sea of billions of bugs
More now, than ever before
And sometimes she almost gets squashed
Under the heel of a boot
But ****, that little sucker
Sure does know to scoot
Blink and you miss her
That little bug
Self-preservation is her goal
She’d be so much better off
With more armor and less soul

Rock my brain
******
Of the main vein
Give me tingles
Make me wish I was there
Connection via thin air
Through your poetry
You can bring you along
And I will bring me
It’s magic, really
Connection via poetry
I give you the power
To do that to me
Oh so willingly

He thought he forgot
How she thought
But it was more true
That he never knew

This mission
A mere 18 words
Survival is finishing
Winning is finishing early

I’m not really a poet
I cannot write ten lines about a blade of grass
Well, maybe I could
But why would
I want to do that?  
Poets love words so much
They use too much
I prefer to conserve
But
Wait a minute!
Maybe I am
Really a poet
Choosing to express myself through words
However I do it
Too big or too small
However it be
Maybe I am a poet, after all

It was my fault
Really
I tried to blame you
For pretending not to see
But I should have known
Your disinterest was a “no”
I had every reason to go
Just like I do now
Yet here I am
With five encores
And twelve final bows
As a means of explanation
To nobody else but me
Trying to understand
Why I held on so pitifully
I must have gotten something from it
It healed something to some degree
I chained myself to a dream
And now I call myself free
But here I still stay
Tethered to thee

He is most Beatles’ songs
He is Chaka Khan
He is that feeling you get on the swing, when you go so high and your
stomach takes a second to spin
He is homemade pizza cooked by a man named Nunzio
He is the perfect blue cheese dressing on fresh tomatoes
He is the warmth that starts in your heart, and winds up in your toes
He is the sneeze you been waiting for with a tingly nose
He is, finding your kid in the kitchen washing dishes unasked
He is the fresh air you get, when you finally take off your mask
He is the clean taste in your mouth after you brush your teeth
He is the end of the day, when you put up your feet
He is the smooth on your legs, directly after you shave
He is, the blissful feeling of the couch after a long day
He is finding your house clean, with no idea how it got that way
He is the sun
And the rain
Depending upon the day
He is the moon at night
He is also dawn’s first light
He is the reason women pray
He is brand new car smell that never goes away
He is the house that gives full candy bars on Halloween
If you happen to drop your lollipop
He is the only place that is clean
He is a surprise rainbow when you thought it would be cloudy all day
I’ll share this, but I’ll probably have to edit
Because I can tell you right now
I’m not giving him enough credit

He’s out of my league
By a hundred and twenty degrees
And all that really means
Is I can say my heart’s truth
Consequence free
I’m a perpetual youth
Holding a “Tiger Beat” magazine
Constant centerfold is he
Photographs speaking to me
Silently

There’s a man on my street
Who’s obsessed with his yard
Meanwhile he’s ignoring
His wife falling apart
Maybe it’s just a cause and effect
One of them must have started the neglect
She doesn’t even put her shoes on
Anymore
When she goes to the store
He’s out with his hedge clippers
And his women is wandering
Around in slippers
And a frown

But they got the neatest lawn in town

Is there a proper protocol for walking away?
Am I obligated to say
We have had our final day?  
Games we almost play
Forfeited for the too long wait
Stayed around way too late
I suppose an explanation isn’t
Necessary

I wanna work you twice over
Sweaty and dirt
Roll around in the hay
But just as importantly
I wanna do all the things that will lead us that way
This ain’t gonna be
A one night stand
Shoot
You ain’t gonna stand when you’re flat on your back
And who knows how many nights we’ll do that

She is pock marked, scarred
And alienated
So misunderstood
Often, celebrated for her beauty
Scars ignored
Crater pimple face
Injuries
Spotlighted
Unforgiving
It’s like staring at the fattest person in the room
And celebrating the rolls
If only we human beings
Could see other people
And ourselves
With the same loving bias
With which we view the moon

The numbers are sparse
Nobody here is
Searching accolades
Maybe the search is within
By putting our poems without
Sometimes you can’t see something right
Til you put it to another’s eyes
That must be what the search is for
In art and poetry
I’m putting all this out there
In a search for me

I’ve noticed I talk about lollipops a lot
In my poetry
Mostly when I’m talking about a man who is special to me
For some reason
I can’t figure out
It must be his sweetness that reminds me about
Those tasty delights, sticky and wet
He reminds me of a lollipop
But I haven’t figured out why, yet

I heard he sang a good song, I heard he had a style
And so I came to see him, and listen for a while
And there he was, this young boy, stranger to my eyes
Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
Killing me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
I felt all flushed with fever, embarrassed by the crowd
I felt he'd found my letters and read each one out loud
I prayed that he would finish, but he just kept right on
Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
Killing me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly with his song

The seven dwarfs
Disney cut
Were unsuccessful in their lawsuit
Against him
Scratchy
Dummy
Stinky
*****
*****
Hairy
And Fattie
Never recovered from Disney’s burn

Winning, and losing
Wanting, and choosing
What it be
Maybe we see
Already

They always say
“Never give up on your dreams”
But what does one do
When you dream of being loved
By someone who doesn’t notice you?
Do you stalk and plead and chase
Continue forever the unwinnable race?
Sleep alone in an imaginary embrace?
Does a dream turn into a nightmare
Holding out for something that will never be there?
When it causes more questions than answers
Maybe it’s time to let go
Or so my ego tells me so
Is it failure to accept
You’re dreaming of something
You’ll never get?

Hemming and hawing
Braying and cawing
Practically bawling
Begging for you
And this inept
Grab at a slice of attention
That never comes
Is all this dummy can do

I’m delusional enough to believe
It wasn’t me he decided to leave
At least not because of me
I tell myself
He was scared
Or too busy
What ever fairy tale
That allows me to still believe

And so it begins
The social media
Farce fake friendship
Between
Myself and a relative
Who cannot agree
On ANYTHING
Aside from the fact
We both pretend
With great patience and tact
We don’t dislike each other
Immensely
The problem is her
But also me
We just grate against each other
Painfully
But that is kept privately
And we smile
And put on the fake friendship show
In front of everybody

I can't tell if you're a beleiver
Or if you really wish you could
But your excitement
Is not infectious
It is disturbing
With your wide-eyed
Very vocal blindness
Refusing to notice holes and flaws
That I know you've surely seen
You may not be insane
But you're somewhere in between.

She was a demon
Full of sins
According to those who go by the book
But that witchy woman
Was a saint
To people who knew how to look