I could tell you my story
And make it rhyme
But you would think
I was lying

This is my gift
Suckle on my supple lines
Make my hair stand on end
Get my goosebumps
All a rile
On my form
Let me dine on your attention
While it’s warm
It is my gift to you
But I get something from it too

Rock me Amadeus
Is now on our playlist
That is your song
Today
This is me
Running a tab

She leaves a part of who she is
Everywhere she goes
Her true face she shows
To everyone she knows

Blame doesn’t have to be claimed or assigned
It lies in every adult
You or me
Blame is there
Surely for this or for that
Some carry more
Or less  
Some pretend they carry none
Some really believe it
But no body
Is blameless

I did learn a lesson
In case you were wondering
Not that it will bring you back around
Or change anything
The lesson learned
Is only applicable
To the rare situation
That happens to involve you
I think you mighta paid a price
For me to learn that lesson, too
Someday I may
Get the chance at thanking you

The thing about you
I wish I knew
Are you content
Or are you intimidated
By your own sense of worth
Value
Which can never be properly viewed
By you

Thank you for piquing my interest
And thank you for tingling my toes
It really made me bloom
My heart getting almost too big for this room
And even though it didn’t last
It’s a bright point of my past
Got me spinning like a the perfect ride
In the tilt a whirl
In an otherwise boring slump
But as much as you get my heart racing
I cannot be a chump

Better than who she was willing to see
She might have been you
She might have been me

I’ve decided
It’s not unhealthy
But who is ever right
In diagnosing their dreams?
How much does how it seems
Personally
Pollute
What really
Should be?

Honesty is a given
Of course, loyalty, too
And it wouldn’t hurt
If he could turn a head or two
But the absolute thing in a man
To which I RUN
I sure love a guy who knows how to have
FUN

I must remind myself
Lack of resistance
Is not encouragement
In fact
Lack of encouragement
Is resistance

He is the type of man who responds to demands
And I am the girl who hates to be demanding
The problem with him:
Disappearance often
Which he is entitled to do
I am not writing this for me
I am writing this for him
I hope he sees
I feel like it will bring him growth
Knowing what I think I know
I want to give him a glimpse from
An outside point of view
But it’s taking the rhyme out of this poem
No matter how much the words sound alike
Because it’s a love letter too
And sometimes love has no reason or rhyme
But I have to admit to myself
He and I
Might not be a good match
In love
However the friendship will stay sure and strong
My whole life long

Just when I was starting to get bored
Here you come
Spark and fire
And juices
Too
Fire and liquid
The breadth of you
Breathing Art from
Deflated old tires
It’s not a job
Yet it’s required
The homage of the re-inspired
I know you know it’s for you

You missed an exciting year
Grampa
You did get to see
The first black president
So much you got to see
When you had an entire childhood
Without even knowing about tv
Yet, you saw the world
Through war and peaceful means
Inventions of things
That once seemed like fantasies
You saw smartphones
In almost every pocket
When you once celebrated
The rotary, and then
The touch tone
Such technology that must have seemed!
Maybe when you were a kid
You dreamed of flying cars
But the miraculous inventions
You witnessed
Have them beat by far
We don't have robot maids
And we haven't yet cured baldness
And as far as politics
The nation is a mess
I think you'd be *******
About that
I suppose, if there was ever a time to
Exit Earth
Stage left
You got a good cue
But that don't stop me
From sorely missing you

Each poem
Stands on it’s own
For what it’s worth
Beginning to end
It remains
What it’s worth
Changing
Perhaps
Through time
Some tarnish
Others shine

She takes it on the chin
When he brings it in
More and more these days
He blames her
For his old ways
And still
She remains
The victim(s) often take the blame

What can I say?
You grew on me
Like moss
I suppose
******* off
The tree

Outside
Alone
And the sounds
Sometimes just the wind
Peaceful
Even with birds
Fighting in background
Tom cats wailing
Tortured haunts of the quiet
Somehow
It’s still peaceful
Outside
Alone

It wasn’t a let down for me
It was a drop from a great height
Into the Dead Sea
All my fault, really
For seeing a man
So much better than he be
I suppose now, at least
I can call myself free

Letting go
Processed slow
Ain’t nothing else I got to show
You’ve already seen
You know what you know
Acceptance
Processed slow
Letting go

Some days it’s more
When it’s little things
Sometimes same
Sometimes new
Sometimes new within the same
Teeny moments added
In
To become
Everything

I’m not worried about you
My care is more personal
You’ve proven your chops
You’ve got it all
Choices, especially
You’re probably
Mostly right
For not wanting me
And the nutty ride
That might turn out to be  
But the good news is
I’m also not worried about me

A history of subjugation
Via impossible circumstance
Is not a negative
It is pride
To have survived intolerable
Circumstances
Brought about
Against your control
Having slaves for ancestors
Only means
You had some badass ancestors
Who thrived in intolerable
Conditions
Pride.

I wish I knew
What to do

It will be the easy way
Or the hard way
So simple
Yet so complicated

Her apologies are really thinly veiled guilt trips
Aimed at you
How can someone say sorry
While still blaming you?
Denying the truth
That’s what you do
You call it
“Keeping the peace”

I want to smack the back of your head
To knock into it some sense that’s common
But you’ve got yourself in so deep
Common sense is something you no longer keep

I heard you crying loud
All the way across town
And it’s me out on the prowl
As you sit around feeling sorry for yourself
Well, don’t get lonely now, and dry your whining eyes
I’m just roaming for the moment
Sleazin’ my backyard
So don’t get so uptight
You been thinking about ditching me
No time to search the world around
Cuz you know where I’ll be found
When I come around
Well, I heard it all before
So don’t knock down my door
I’m a loser and a user, so I don’t need no accuser
To try and **** me down, because I know you’re right
So go do what you like
Make sure you do it wise
You may find out
That your self doubt
Means nothing was ever there
You can’t go forcing something if it’s just not right
No time to search the world around
Cuz you know where I’ll be found
When I come around

Caught the dreaded plague
Was sick for one whole day
I suppose I must be super human
Or maybe it's all overplayed
I don't know the answers
Or what I'm s'posed to say
But the dreaded plague
Kept me sick for one whole day

Getting old
Upcoming change
What smoking does to my health
That my grandson took a ****
When his mom will be home in two minutes

My neighbor is growing ***
Right in the back yard
She goes to work all day
The sun baking those little trees
I’ve been dutifully watering them
I’m sure hoping she sees
Maybe she’ll be inspired
To share some of it with me

I thought it would be
An impossibility
That you wouldn’t inspire me
To write more poetry
But you don’t care to see
So I’m really only writing for me
I suppose that’s the best way to be
Self-inspired poetry
But unfortunately
I am mostly bored by me
How can I not be?
When I am always stuck with me
Now I’m mostly bored with you
You give me nothing to believe
Nothing new to see
And when you share the same old thing
It’s rarely

Your silence screams so loud at me
******* out my energy
I strain for a sound
Hopefully
It doesn’t help to beg
But
Please

It puts me out
How you can go without
Yet I starve for it every time
This self imposed fast
Pattern
Seems to last
But this reason has too much rhyme
Next season
You’ll be back
To captivate
And then
I’ll starve again

Once upon a time
Should be right now
But my Prince
He cannot be
Bothered with me
And that’s the tale
With this fairy

The one friend
Who makes me wish I could be gay
She’d be a perfect lover
If I could just get down that way

I am not impressed with your excuses
"I am too good of a guy"
Is not a reason to be miserable
Or complain about how much
Too good has cost you
You fool
Good guys don't ignore
Drama or discomfort
Caused by them
So they can pretend
They deserve to complain

I could make promises to myself I don’t mean
Try to make a break that’s clean
Swear to every deity
Take an aching knee
I wish I could believe
If only so I could pray
For you to notice me
Vibrantly

It is a win
When I ignore them
You know the type
The reaction they seek
Will be how they perceive it to be
They declare themselves a win
No matter how it really goes down
There’s really more consequence
Than reward
In trying to trip up a clown
The act gets old quick
And can somebody bring
A trapeze artist around?

He is most Beatles’ songs
He is Chaka Khan
He is that feeling you get on the swing, when you go so high and your
stomach takes a second to spin
He is homemade pizza cooked by a man named Nunzio
He is the perfect blue cheese dressing on fresh tomatoes
He is the warmth that starts in your heart, and winds up in your toes
He is the sneeze you been waiting for with a tingly nose
He is, finding your kid in the kitchen washing dishes unasked
He is the fresh air you get, when you finally take off your mask
He is the clean taste in your mouth after you brush your teeth
He is the end of the day, when you put up your feet
He is the smooth on your legs, directly after you shave
He is, the blissful feeling of the couch after a long day
He is finding your house clean, with no idea how it got that way
He is the sun
And the rain
Depending upon the day
He is the moon at night
He is also dawn’s first light
He is the reason women pray
He is brand new car smell that never goes away
He is the house that gives full candy bars on Halloween
If you happen to drop your lollipop
He is the only place that is clean
He is a surprise rainbow when you thought it would be cloudy all day
I’ll share this, but I’ll probably have to edit
Because I can tell you right now
I’m not giving him enough credit

Friday night I crashed your party
Saturday, I said I’m sorry
Sunday came and trashed me out again
I was only having fun
Wasn’t hurting anyone
And we all enjoyed the weekend, for a change
I’ve been stranded in the Combat Zone
I walked through Bedford Stuy alone
Even rode my motorcycle in the rain
And you told me not to drive
But I made it home alive
So you said that only proves that I’m insane
You may be right
I may be crazy
But it just may be a lunatic you’re looking for
Turn out the light
Don’t try to save me
You may be wrong, for all I know
But you may be right

I miss the beautiful parts of you
Tender moments
And fresh air breaths
But you’ve got ugly parts, too
Angry, mean, and lots of mess
I can’t have one without the other
It’s just who you are
Uglier than beautiful
Unkind words bashing
In my skull
Pushing away against the pull
You can’t be what you are not
And I cannot be blind
I refuse to go through
Thickets of ugliness
To find a tiny field of kind

Wat of if I loose my mind?
Sometimes?
Is that ok with u?
Can I be tru?  
My ugly too see
Numerously
When u look at me
Must be

Listen
You little **** (I’m sorry)
I’m obviously not getting over it!  
It may be a blessing
It may be a curse
You may be the best
You may be the worst
I am here with all this obvious thirst
And instead of sending me to the next saloon
Or opening the door and giving me room
You leave me out here howling at the moon
Foolish me, just can’t get over it
Chasing after you little **** (I’m sorry)

She wrote a thousand poems of
Admiration
Never naming names
Each man she knew
Thought he was the muse
Her inspiration light
Unlikely as it was
There’s a chance that he was right

The hostility of the blank page
Is nothing compared to
The tyranny of
The blinking curser
Paper waits patiently
But that **** curser is mocking me!

It is alarming to see
How many unlocked doors
Are cloaked with invisibility

I am the potter spinning yarn
I’m the cop trying to direct traffic with a broken arm
I’m the stone cutter without a blade
The mafia wannabe, who never got made
I am the Rockette without any kick
I am the lab rat who just won’t get sick
I am the movie that goes on way too long
And on and on
On and on
C’mon Boo, just one more song
I am the prowler audacious
Perpetually
Heading in blindly
Yet apparently
You are blind to me
Because you want to be
And I remain
What you refuse to see
Your choice to not be
You know you
Better than me
The kickless Rockette
Flops around the set
Lamely
Because she stubbornly believes
There are no kicks
Where she’s s’posed to be

He’s there,
Somewhere
The one for me
It is certainly true
Whoever he be
Is gonna be a lot like you

What do I say
When I’ve probably said it all?
I gave you a detailed outline
Of the entire rise
And now, the fall
And the risk of being redundant
Ringing and ringing
While you avoid the call
Yet
Here I stay
Ready and willing
To repeat it all
Do you like to listen
Or ignore me completely?
Do you pay attention
Oh so discreetly?
Or do you wish I’d leave and hush up
Do I knock incessantly
On a door you never want to open
Do you want me to leave
And abandon the hoping
Is it an embarrassment to you
This desperate girl
Or am I shaming myself?
I could pretend
To disavow
The things I said I felt
But that wouldn’t be real
And I got so much more to feel
And probably no new way to say it
In any event
Until you tell me to go
I’ll be here to display it