You’re not not there
You got there long ago
But now your eyes have focused
Upon the horizon
There it is
Between you
And resistant distance
Not not achievable
You’re not trying to grow wings
But to grow your soul
Into undeniable
To even yourself
Evolve
Enhance
From “there.”
There is no rule
That one person cannot
Accomplish
Two impossible things
There is always
Not here

It is nearly delusional on my part
My imagination
Of what could be
Between he and me
But nobody else feels worthy
Yet
I hope I meet the wonderful man
Who sets me free
From this
Unattainable fantasy
There’s gotta be
Someone close to perfect
For me
Somewhere
I do keep looking
So why can’t I see?  
Close to perfect
Apparently
Comes with a cloak of
Invisibility

And that’s all I have to say about that.

Maybe you’re not “him”
But at the very least
You’re a cool spring of water
And a field full of flowers
With the perfect tree for climbing
Along my path
Or maybe
You are an oasis mirage
But I’m heading in that direction
So we’ll see
What may be
Between you and me

How does one go about mourning
The loss of something they never had?
This must be what motivates
The villains to turn bad
When what could maybe be
Has really
Always been

Never will happen

One can let it smolder and burn to ash
Or kick that “ain’t gonna happen”
Out on it’s ***
I’m the type to be
Foolish and brash
Particularly when I run out of gas
I thought it was solar powered
But it’s not renewable
It turns out
However
To be entirely screwable
And now it’s in so tight
The head has disappeared
But the mark that it left
Will be there for years

Success is simply
Passing it on
Whatever it is

Human part in there
Somewhere
Your ego so fragile
You find it a fault
Being fragile
Fragility is the human condition
We all break
Some of us
Find people to fix
One of the few ways
To heal from a break
Some refuse to break  
Hold whole to a bitter end
The recovery rate from an almost break
Is much more grim

I yearn
Painlessly
Yet maddeningly
Only for one
You’re my desire
I burn like the sun
I know you feel complimented
By how I cherish you
You don’t play with my emotions
Pretending to ignore me
Is what you do
As for my feelings
They will continue
And you’ll still pretend your feet do not move
To the
The dance without music
Between me and you

I envy those who have the privilege of wearing their hearts on their sleeves
Mine is right on my forehead
In the game of coy
I cannot win
If I grow bangs
It moves down to my chin

Theatrics
Attract us
We love to see a show
Looked at from our lens
Over the crowd
The one we notice
Is flailing about

Do you have the time to listen to me whine
About nothing and everything all at once?
I am one of those
Melodramatic fools
Neurotic to the bone
No doubt about it
Sometimes I give myself the creeps
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I'm cracking up
Am I just paranoid?
Or am I just ******?
I went to a shrink
To analyze my dreams
She says it's lack of *** that's bringing me down
I went to a *****
She said my life's a bore
So quit my whining 'cause it's bringing her down
Sometimes I give myself the creeps
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I'm cracking up
Am I just paranoid?
Grasping to control
So I better hold on
Sometimes I give myself the creeps
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I'm cracking up
Am I just paranoid?
Or am I just ******?

…….
                  …….  


     …..

                                    ..


      ..


                                           .
And that’s all I have to say about that.

The high balcony
Far enough away for me to be
Anonymously
Lady teaching toddler about sidewalks
So beautiful to see

You are the ice and the tea
You’re the light when it’s too dark to see
You’re the journey and the destiny
You’re the missing part of me
You’re the carrots in my peas
You’re the laughter and the glee
You are the fight and the agree
You are the fervent, woeful plea
You are the only bullseye I see
You are the royal decree
You are for what my heart will bleed
You are the nest at the top of the tree
You are the coffee and the cream
You are the best show on TV
You are the waking and the dream
You are the luxurious shopping spree
You are the best player on any team
You are the yellow in the green
You are the sunrise over the sea
You’re the treasure that’s eluded me
You hold the lock and the key
Until you open the gate
I’ll never be free

Blinded by the light
Revved up like a deuce
Another runner in the night
-     -     -
Madman drummers bummers
Indians in the summer with a teenage diplomat
In the dumps with the mumps
As the adolescent pumps his way into his hat
With a boulder on my shoulder
Feelin’ kinda older
I tripped the merry go round
With this very unpleasin’
Sneezing and wheezing
The calliope crashed to the ground
The calliope crashed to the ground!

He sat back
And watched me burn
In his front row spot
All the time
Sipping his wine
Ignoring all the hot
The flames were so persistent
Consuming much my spirit
And though I screamed real loud
He pretended not to hear it
One day I will get my turn
With the one who will not let me burn

My ten year old grandson
The scientist
Doesn't eat like me or you
Since he has informed me
He infuses salt into his food
I told him I thinkle
We all just sprinkle

I know I am special enough
To be loved by a man like you

My crazy is harmless
To everyone, but me
I don’t usually suffer
But I always bleed

Even more maddening than the hateful
**** talker
Is the one who feigns concern
Call up your family and friends
And then proceed to pretend
They’re just looking out for you
Over some made up thing
They claim you do
Spread the lie all around
To anyone who will hear
They’re so worried you’re going down
Not accepting they’re already there

Halfway
Is average
Far enough
But nobody knows
Where they are
On their
Path
Death could come
Anytime
Anyway
And take halfway to
Finish
In the course of just one day

You are put to good use
I’ve lost count of all
The nuts I’ve busted
With you as the muse
As far as nut busting goes
You, sir, are a pro
Even when you do not know
You are the best
******* mascot  
It’s pretty cool to be so great
At something in which
You don’t participate

I am not impressed with your excuses
"I am too good of a guy"
Is not a reason to be miserable
Or complain about how much
Too good has cost you
You fool
Good guys don't ignore
Drama or discomfort
Caused by them
So they can pretend
They deserve to complain

She goes far under the surface
When you look for it
At short glance
She’s paper thin
But if you choose to look again
She tingles at your eyes
An unexpected surprise
Once you realize
Paper thin
Can get under your skin

I was born in Massachusetts
But you put the Boston in me
Adventures by land and by sea
You’ve been gone a while
But the Boston in me
Will always be

It’s not that I deny my damage
Honey,
I’m a hott mess
Gristled over, sharp edges
Rooms that will change you forever if you open the door
For better or worse
Of course
We won’t be the same
I like myself enough
To know I got the guts
To get through the rough
I see in you
The one with the right stuff
Make me corny enough to write this fluff

It used to be
When he said the word “baby,”
I thought he was talking about me

Yes
They will
They’re gonna laugh
They’re gonna talk behind your back
Sometimes truth, mostly skewed
Sometimes you’ll be the center news
Not usually
For things
You wanted anyone else to see
When the one in the story
Is “me.”
Mistakes, they’ll talk for eternity
Success is celebrated for a week

I have no wings
In fact
I am crawling, too
Get on my back
Ride me like a horse
I will carry you

Loss
The greatest teacher of all
You can’t learn to walk
Without learning to fall
Nobody great
Scores every play
Success surely has a cost
Paid in advance through loss

You turn me on
With your mind
Beautiful to look at
As you are
Your appearance is
The second sexiest thing
You got
You beautiful, beautiful
Man
Smoking ******* hott
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

I woo him so earnestly
Practically
Like a knight trying to earn
The badge of chivalry
I give him all of me
Albeit distantly
And he pays little to no
Attention to me
Hurtful it be
Because I take it so personally
But how else could one perceive
Baring their soul to somebody
Who does not want to see?
Sometimes I wish he would say
“*****, would you just go away”
He’s got no motivation to speak
My game is too weak
I’m past my peak
I’m not what he seeks
I need lots of tweaks
And then
I realize
It’s really got nothing to do with me
Sometimes there’s just no reason
Things cannot be
And the fault doesn’t lie
With him
Or with me
It might just not be meant to be
And I’m still happy
I really like me
And even though he don’t want it that way
He probably will agree
As far as admirers go
He couldn’t do much better than me
So I’ll keep on admiring
Because he’s so worthy

Sometimes it is a curse
To be a blessing

It doesn’t have to be
Between me and anybody
I got plenty of friends and family
And the water falls out of my tub faucet at the perfect speed
Whatever the thing between you and me
Maybe something, or nothing, or forever “we’ll see”
You’re not here
And I’m still complete
Maybe as much as I’m ever gonna be
But that’s OK; I’m happy with me
Completely incomplete
There is nothing from you that I need
It just seems
You could take me to my dreams
And who knows what that trip could do for you?
You might find out you’re dreaming too

I hope to fall head over heels
It seems so unlikely
To find a fit perfectly
But that’s what he would have to be
They say there’s a match for everybody
But it’s not a guarantee we’ll meet
If we do, I’ll be ready
And to be my match
So will he

We like to blame
Parents
The system
It’s all the same
It would be a pretty safe bet
There’s a break you didn’t get
You don’t dwell
But I can tell
You feel it in your very shell
Woulda, coulda, shoulda been
The chance that went to other men
Some wasted it
Some made it great
You’ll never know
What you woulda made
Of a better fate

The circus comes to town
And sometimes right to you
No matter what you do
The circus will pass through
Relying upon it
Not smart to do
Unless you wanna let
The circus consume you

Everything to lose
Or everything to gain
The way things are now
You can’t complain
Why make a move
When you don’t have to?
So what’s this lovesick girl to do?
There’s no reason for you to come through
Blameless, beautiful, too good to be true
You
Maybe you feel you can’t measure up
To the vision I have of you
But isn’t that just another way
Of calling me a fool?
(And you know that isn’t true)
You definitely give me credit
You know I’m properly schooled
We could be cool
I know you feel it, Boo
Open the door
Let me walk through
Who knows where it goes?
Wherever that be
I feel that it’s something
You’d want to see
But maybe it ain’t
You can already tell
Or maybe a mix of the both
I promise you will not regret
Letting me get close
Plain and simple
I promise you will not regret
Letting me get close

Contrary to what they say
It doesn’t all come out in the wash
Some stains stay

He's a cold-hearted snake
Look into his eyes
He's been tellin' lies
He's a lover boy at play
He don't play by the rules,
Girl, don't play the fool
You're the one givin' up the love
Anytime he needs it
But you turn your back, and then he's off and runnin' with the crowd
You're the one to sacrifice
Anything to please him
Do you really think he thinks about you when he's out?
He's a cold-hearted snake
Look into his eyes
He's been tellin' lies
He's a lover boy at play
He don't play by the rules
Girl, don't play the fool, no
It was only late last night
He was out there sneakin'
Then he called you up to check that you were waiting by the phone
All the world's a candy store
He's been trick or treatin'
When it comes to true love, girl, with him there's no one home

It's drama
And you're holding on to it
Because that's
What you feel
You have to offer
If they're not talking about
Your latest meltdown
They're not talking about
You
At all
And you're not responsible for your
Behavior
Anyways
Because you can't control
Your inability to deal
Or at least that's how you've
Conditioned yourself
To feel

He gives me a sip
From which I produce a flood
Run dry soon
And parched
Waiting for rain
Again
I suppose the dry times would be worse
If he knew how much I thirst

Step one
From hundreds of miles away
Not even sure if I’ll get there someday

I have a super power
Invisibility
Nobody notices me
Trying to see the bright side
In current realities
Which is probably a super power too

It wasn't a poem that came out
Random words that sounded
Sort of philosophical
Without knowing their meaning
Like existential
Which sounds intelligential
If you're not guessing
At the definition
But the work was liked
And loved and egos rubbed
And we've created a
Monstersaurus
Just once, I'd like to see her write
Without employing her
Thesaurus

It used to be
We wore masks
Whenever we went outside
Pretending was the norm
In the natural light
But in our own homes
We showed an honest sight
Then comes internet
Social media highway
Now we live amid the farce of
Fake communique
Cook a five course meal
Just to take a pic
Who cares if the chicken went bad
And got the whole family sick?  
Did it look appealing
On your Facebook feed?
Taste is less important
It’s the photo that you need

Who knows what could be
The result of all this poetry
That he pretends he does not see

In matters of the heart
One day
Can be
An eternity

Begging wouldn’t help
But I would
If it would
I have gotten on my knees
Prayerful pleads
With only myself to see
Myself begging on my knees
I am proud of me
Usually
Even when I’m on my knees
And maybe
Especially

You walked in
The room got smaller
You fill up every corner
Presence
You might as well have been wearing
A cowboy hat
With all that swagger
No high horse in sight
But a noble steed
Indeed