Lay a whisper on me, please
Set it out on the breeze
Nobody has to hear it
Not even me
Send me some love
Anonymously
If that’s the way
It has to be

I am like the letter Z
Jazzy to say
Zing. Dazzle, and zesty
Fun to have on the tongue
Occasionally
But it’s easy
To get too much of me
Which obviously
You see

The current political climate
Would be hilarious
If it weren’t so serious
Too
Cult like
Downright weird
So many have become
Over a man
Who whatever he got
Would not give them some
But as selfish and mean as that **** be
He gives them someone to blame for their
Misery
Far into the future our descendants will see
How foolishly
Following a narcissist can be

I suppose you can probably see
I am oodles of noodles
At the caviar party
There are no subtle flavors
(Yet nothing fishy)
But I am proud to be
Thrift store cheap
Pretentiouslessly
I could behave all pomp and classy
But a trailer park is where I’d rather be
Than some fancy
Hollywood party
That kind of scene
Is not for me
One doesn’t need to be upper classy
To possesss lots of quality

It is a victory for me
Because I know
By this time you have seen
Sometimes you smile
When reading me
I’ve had your attention
At some point in my history
You’re the kind of man who cares about me
However distantly
Whatever your reasons be
You sometimes think about me
And I call that a victory

Is it almost an insult to you
A low-value me
Thinking anything could possibly be
Do you laugh and mock
At the foolish groupie
If you happen to look
What do you see?
I can only look from my inside view
Thinking I have something of value
To offer you
I am just a joke
I know this to be true
But funny may be something
In your life, you could use
In your serious business
Of blowing your flute
In any event
I offer my fruit
It’s yours
To use
Whether or not
You choose

Logically
I know my professed
Feelings for you
Cannot possibly be true
I’m just a stranger
Behaving strangely
Believing in some fake
Wanna be my destiny
And instead of realizing what a fool I be
I’m delusionally
Thinking
“Well, this is his effect on me”
Day by day
This I see
I mean nothing to you
And I don’t know what you mean to me
But it cannot possibly be
What I think I can see
And the things I think I feel
I must accept they aren’t real
If they were of any value
You would surely feel them too
Vapors of feelings
I pretend to be true
Whispers on winds
About birds and bees
Heard only by trees
Repeated by their leaves in the breeze
Sent to a man
Who doesn’t speak
The language of trees

Questions with no answers
Actions neither right or wrong
All different directions to the same place
Depending upon where you’re from
Trash and treasures
Perspectively
Either way
To you is me

Watching insanity permeate
Through society
Quicker than ever before possibly
We are at a tipping point
Maybe
But that’s probably
What they always say
Since they had speech
But I cannot help but believe
At this time, and this whole scene
We gotta take back who we really be
And say it with such fervency
There is NO MORE
Questionability
Of who America really be
Ya see?
These ***** are misrepresenting we
And I don’t know how to fix
Angry people
Scary

You witnessed it all
Til it turned to smoke
All the effort
Nothing gained
Lost is time, and maybe confidence
Only ashes remain
Along with this sooty stain
I have no right to complain
But here I do, anyway
All the liberties I take
You gave me none
For goodness sake

I might be almost ready to move away
If there is no choice
Which there seems to be not
Choice voiced
Accepted not my choice
I suppose you hope for me
To find someone who is healthy
And you will probably celebrate to see
Me writing someone else poetry
That seems to me
The kind of man you be

I go off
Whether you notice
Or not
Check out other spots
There’s gotta be one
Somewhere
Who I’d rather love than you
It would be healthy for me to
Focus on someone new
I know this to be true
And if I know you
You wish it for me, too
Wonder what a girl can do
With everything I’ve learned
Through you

Did you know
And pretend to not?
How much guilt have you got?
Did you look the other way
Or justify
“Well, they want to play?”  
Are you mad at yourself
For what you didn’t say?
Would it have helped
Anyway?  
That thing been there
******* out all of the fresh air
Eating away at the game you love
All that **** you could never scrub
Is that why you walked away?  
Burdened with too much weight
Of all those things you couldn’t say
“Games” you didn’t want to play
And if that be the case
Will the justice long delayed
Have any effect on
Your decisions from today?

I want to believe
You want to know me
Too old for foolish dreams
Too young to leave gracefully
I realize you can see
How bent and broken I be
If I were you
I probably
Would ignore me, too

The hinges upon which a maybe swings
Potential for any things
Sometimes, if one is really
Desperately
Holding onto  what they want to see  
An unsaid no
Can almost be
A maybe
To someone who refuses to agree  
What obviously
Never will be

I want to say
One day it will be too late
But that wouldn’t be true
I cannot imagine
There will be a date
I wouldn’t go running to you

It’s like untying a knot
Work this lace loose
The next and the next
So many
It’s going very slowly
One day
We both will be free
If you happen to want
Freedom from me

I’m not bleeding
Crying
Or claiming needing
Trying
By feigning my brain is frying
Or want to dying
I’m not berserk or flipping my lid
But would it help me if I did?

How can he not sing?  
Deny the beautiful offering
The silent voice that used to ring
Oh the feels that man will bring
When he remembers how to sing

I am proud of myself
For letting you go
There was a time
I didn’t think it possible
But here I am, sights on someone new
Walking away
With nothing but love for you
Ain’t much different
This girl can do

It’s moving on
But not really
I’m looking back
If you called
I’d be there in a flash
Gotta sorta give up
Little by little
Will it ever be gone?
I’ll probably always answer your song
But you’ve  known that all along
Just another groupie
Battle scarred hoopdee
Halfway gone to loopy
Tryna sparkle in the crowd
Teeny light held up to blazing sun
Glowing maybe differently
But the sun cannot notice me
Either by design, or willingly
It is a possibility
To sparkle invisibly
And apparently
The kind of magic to get noticed
By you  
Is not in my ability

Walking away
Ain’t a hard feeling in play
At least in me
Maybe I called you out too familiarly
Truth being
If I was you
I wouldn’t like me
I behaved aggressively
Assuming an almost intimacy
It wouldn’t a worked if it was done to me

Is there a proper protocol for walking away?
Am I obligated to say
We have had our final day?  
Games we almost play
Forfeited for the too long wait
Stayed around way too late
I suppose an explanation isn’t
Necessary

Trying to win you over
Was like trying to take off in a helicopter
From the ground
In the middle of downtown
And I’ve never even driven a helicopter
I didn’t take off
Yet

It’s not really love
I can’t call it that anymore
It’s adulation, or even worship
Probably maybe
Unhealthy
It should be
It doesn’t seem to have that effect on
Me
But maybe that’s something I don’t want to see

I went after you pretty hard
I put what I had in it
I don’t regret one feeling
Spoken or not
I go in for you hott
The thot deep in thought
Brought what she got

Some people have a need to look down
It could be one of a hundred reasons
Every one of them true
But they got a skew in their view
They don’t even know you
The best thing to do
Is let them pump and postulate
Ego boost and self *******
Then you smile and say “have a nice day”
Thinking “thank goodness I can walk away”

You must think it haughty of me
To speak of you so intimately
I pretend to know you
Or really think I do
Some kinda non existent way
To everyone else but me
It’s crazy
So really
Here I be
Trying to be haughty
And I’m really crazy

Forgetting
Trying to
Anyway
Gonna take a thousand days
From the next beautiful thing you do
So
What that means
Is
On top of all your other talents
You are unforgettable, too
There ain’t no how no way
I’m gonna be forgetting you

Loss
The greatest teacher of all
You can’t learn to walk
Without learning to fall
Nobody great
Scores every play
Success surely has a cost
Paid in advance through loss

Your death
Was the least violent part of your addiction
You beat your body up
Starved yourself
Went through daily sickness
Forced your loved ones
To alienate
Resigning themselves
Against their will
To your self destructive fate
Programs; outpatient and in
Everything they could to stop this
Disease from winning
You revolted
And bolted
To be “free”
To live in a cage
Voluntarily
Your body wracked with this
Horrible disease
Until you went forever to sleep
Did you get what you wanted?
In death are you finally free?

I aim to be
His mental ******* machine
Tickle his brain
Relieve some of his pain
Catch his hope in his chest
Fill up his lungs with his next fresh breath
I want him to see himself through my eyes
Sometimes
And feel his own  effect with his beautiful vibe
Maybe he is too ******* himself
Doesn’t feel worthy of **** near worship
Or maybe it’s annoying
For real, who would want that ****?  
All these “maybes”
To hide the fact
The reason is me
Not accepting what will never be
Ownership of what I cannot achieve
Might be what’s most healthy
But pretending he’s  not there
And I don’t see
How beautiful he be
Does not feel like freedom
To me

Giving in is not giving up

I think it’s probably running dry
When no one else has caught my eye
Directionless
As far as romance goes
Hope the next way I roam
Isn’t destined to remain
Never a home

All the things you never said
Sit inside my head
Unspoken almost token
Of what should have been
Yet never was
Could it be the voices
In my head
Are broken?
Or is it the voice you speak with
That is choking?
Maybe both of us are the cause
Ain’t either one of us lacking flaws
But everyone with common sense and eyes to see
Can ascertain quite easily
The problem surely rests in me
With eyes that think they can hear,
And ears that think they can see

It’s not that I deny my damage
Honey,
I’m a hott mess
Gristled over, sharp edges
Rooms that will change you forever if you open the door
For better or worse
Of course
We won’t be the same
I like myself enough
To know I got the guts
To get through the rough
I see in you
The one with the right stuff
Make me corny enough to write this fluff

He ain’t fresh out the box
Nicks, scratches, scars
Most invisible
He got his demons
Inner vibe ****
He ain’t as up as he seems
Wearing his mask of other mens’ dreams
Why ain’t it perfect, though?
The answers to everything he wanted to know
Sure put on a lovely show
But there’s more
In store
Fireworks galore
To the man who just wants to
Chill indoors

I wish to be the water that meanders down his chest and into his *****
I wish to be the oil in his bones
Deep in the grooves
Part of the system’s sustain
I wish to be the fire
That makes him laugh in the rain
Massage out his aches and pain
I think he thinks I overestimate him
But I think just as much of myself
And I know I’m not overestimating myself
He is lucky
Because of me
Whether or not it be
Something he ever sees

He alters my vibe
No tries or even a drain on his own
I think
That is unknown
My effect on him
Could be a drag
But for that to be
He’d have to be
Different completely
From what I see

I been silly
It would seem
Working on a dream
But work is tedious
I feel inspired
Crafted by a Master
Against his will
The monster he created
Has a brain, still

I don’t take it personally
That you are not ready for me
But I wish I knew
What you see between us
In a year or two

He’s got some kinda mojo  
Filled right up to the brim
Spark of creation still alive
In the soul of him
Ancient primal jinn
Magic in his very skin

Do you know me by now?  
Are you paying attention?
Do you consider any potential
Or is it an empty well
Halfway full
Or somewhere in between
Either side?
Is it a matter of pride
Annoyance
Or somewhere in between
Either side?
Does my pushing pressure
Or motivate?  
Has it always been too late?

Beautiful human being
Too ******* yourself
Turmoil from every direction
Losing the will to cope
Let me offer you mine
Wishes
Prayers
Hope
Take some of mine
You darling person
You deserve it

I touch him
Occasionally
Some miracle way
Without ever being there
I feel it in the air
When I bring
Something to him
Invisibly
And magically
He can nonchalant
All he wants
I make him smile
Lotsa whiles
Under the radar
He sees
With me
Strangers in a crowd
Someday maybe
He will see out loud

I am the surprise
That appeared before your eyes
Surprises are scary
Chaotic
Addictive narcotic
It’s probably wise
To avoid the surprise

Are you responsible for the version
of you I imagine you are
Or is that all my fault
What did you do to make me idolize you
These aren’t really questions
Because they have no answers
The spark comes
Not on purpose
Especially not to me
But here I be
I’m a hanger on
A weight
Upon something towards you
A burden
Could be
Pushing myself
Relentlessly
You’ve done nothing to encourage me
And me feeling full of myself
Like maybe something could be

Too much said already

Maybe it never meant anything
Maybe nobody paid attention to it, but me
But that cannot possibly be
When I play the fool
It’s usually something everyone sees

There he goes
Looking all fine
Natural and easy
Wearing that beautiful smile
There ain’t no gum or no patch
No anonymous meetings
Either
He’s a dream weaver
This is gonna have to be a cold turkey
Quit
How long will it take me to get over it?

I do not take it personally
That you view me
So inconsequentially
Silly and frilly and spilly my guts
While you sit in gilded ruts
But who am I to judge or complain?
You and I, we ain’t the same
Despite my misguided illusion
And ignorant confusion
It ain’t you for me
And it ain’t me for you
And if I say it enough
I might believe it, too