It’s not foolish
Though it is kinda giddy
The thinking I do about you
Maybe it’s not thinking
Dreaming fantasizing
Is there a word for the opposite of thinking?
Because it’s nerve endings in my chest
The messages are coming through
Undeniably great
In the meeting of these two
Freesoul minds
Me and you

The heartbreaking part
Was the person that drug
Made you to be
Still so fun to be around
But such dishonesty
You became a thief
And a liar, too
I couldn’t stay long
Near the drugs and you
I have anger
For things you did under the influence
Or more usually trying to get under the
Influence
I got out pretty easily
I left that time I took you somewhere
And you stole from my friends
Of course, you say it wasn’t you
But you know I saw you were in that room
The heart breaking part
Was the loss of that absolute wonderful guy
On account of you skeezing to chase that high

I am the freak
Who pretends to be normal
But then again, so are you
There ain’t no “normal” humans
Just things we don’t tell other people we do

He’s the type to encourage me
When I’m feeling all pretty and strutting my ***
He likes a proud woman
Filled up with cinnamon
And sassafras
Women blossom
Around him
He’s surely a worker bee
I feel my bud opening
Awaiting him to lay some work on me

Thirsty for you
And the perfect way that you come through
Maybe lust
Maybe more
Surely something good in store
You got the vibe
Of just the right guy
Heading in slowly
And smart, you and I
Could be flirtation
Could be ride or die
You are worth giving whatever a try

Outside
Alone
And the sounds
Sometimes just the wind
Peaceful
Even with birds
Fighting in background
Tom cats wailing
Tortured haunts of the quiet
Somehow
It’s still peaceful
Outside
Alone

You are the forest
Yet unexplored
Full of life
And dappled light
I can’t wait to hear
Your crickets at night

Boy!  
Why haven’t you written me a poem yet?!
I’ve come out with like three
For you
I know you must
Got something for me
Otherwise I’m writing
The wrong poetry
You don’t have to name me
Amour
I’ll know who you wrote it for

This is not me begging
This is me asking earnestly

Sometimes
I feel tingly and on top
Others
Itchy and on bottom
Fluctuation
Plurally
Sometimes
Is otherwise
Almost always
Numb and in middle

I watched you lose him
It took all of a second
A flash of a smile
Dimpled and sweet
He took to it
Like a dog to meat
It’s a good thing
Dogs are so otherwise
Adorable
And give such special treats

The heartbreak
For me
In writing poetry
Is in loving poems
So much
That nobody else cares to see
I visit them
Often
My underloved poems
Nobody else cares to see
I don’t suffer from writing them
I suffer from setting them free

You turn me on
With your mind
Beautiful to look at
As you are
Your appearance is
The second sexiest thing
You got
You beautiful, beautiful
Man
Smoking ******* hott
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Please
Bring it to me
Lay it out raw
Tumble the soul
And the wash
In verse
Give me the best
And the worst
Tingle my insides
Magically
Using nothing but
Words and invisibility
Connecting through
Airwaves
Timelessly
You are magic
Dear Poet
Please
Bring it to me

What does one do, and how does it go
When they fall in love with a man
….
Named Waldo?
Is it appropriate to say
“Mister, the name is a no no?
Can I call you James, instead
Or maybe Paul or Joe
Or Ted?  
Maybe I can even agree
To call you by the name Wally
Waldo was an ok name
Until they came up with a find that boy game

This is really false advertising
Even if it’s true
Even if it’s true
This is really false advertising

I cannot possibly be
The only one writing you poetry
You’re so **** inspiring
Beautiful too
Not much in this world
More poetic than you

As far as you know
I’ve forgotten you
And pay no attention
To whatever you do
As far as you know
I’m in non-you bliss
Glad you are gone
But bliss don’t feel like this
As far as you know
I’m beyond moving on
But the truth is
That road to healing is long
As far as you know
You’re a nonentity
No part of my life
And you never will be
But as far as I know
I miss the good times
When you were sweet
And loving and fine
As far as I know
You are a disease
That I just cannot seem to cure
But one thing I know
I’ll never tell you I love you
Again
And of that, you can be sure

I see your loyalty
Pushing your dad
In his wheelchair
Every day
Meandering up the street
And back again
I hear the patient tone in your voice
As he asks you
For the hundredth time
“Where are we going?”
“Just for a walk, dad.”
“Where are we going?”
“Just around the block, dad.”
“Where are we going?”
“Checking the neighborhood, dad.”  
Dad will not remember the walk
But you take him
Every day
He must have been a good dad
For you to turn out that way

People want to know why the chicken crossed the road
I don’t care why
I’d rather congratulate chickens for being so GREAT
At road crossing
I’ve seen dogs and cats and skunks and raccoons and deer and possum
Foxes too
All laying dead on roads
Obviously hit by cars
Yet nobody questions their motives
For crossing that road
On the other hand
I have never seen even one dead chicken
Laying in the road
And still
Everyone wants to know

Do you really think I’m going to suddenly change my mind in between the first and second time you make me ex out of your advertisement?

I want to lay you down on thick grass
In a meadow surrounded by forest
To look upon the quiet reflected in your face
Where is all that drama?
Gone without a trace.
Clothes become gone, too
And I just sit in awe of naked, beautiful you
We sun in silence
‘Cept the birds
Collecting all our unsaid words
Singing them back in bird language
Is this Heaven? Can I be dead?
Time seems to be kind
Lazy passing by
So comfortable between us
We don’t even have to try

You’ve got this idea
Closure
Stuck in your mind
And you feel like it’s owed
Your demand
For clarity
Is really just a way
To ignore what you can clearly see

You’re good
But boring
Your emotions
Cannot possibly be
All gardening and pottery
And puttering endlessly
There’s gotta be  
Something you don’t want other people to see
You should start putting that in your poetry

Butterflies love tears
But if I sat outside
They’d avoid me
No matter how many tears I cried
I’ve seen butterflies
Land right on a crocodile’s eyes
Sipping salty tears
But as for us human beings
Butterflies must think we cry weird

My imagination dances
Around you
With you
Too
The rhythm
Of the both of us
Such an uplifting tune
You lead
I’ll follow
Through an imaginary ballroom
Where at this particular moment
You’re the pretend groom

Sometimes it’s almost subconscious
My attention goes to you first
I pretend I don’t notice
The warm in my skin
Over anything you’re in
I think you try to impress me
Or maybe somebody like me
I can tell what you’re looking for
And it’s something I think I might already be

I told my grandkids that I’m famous

On Hello Poetry

They were not impressed

I don’t have the heart to tell them
(Or myself)

The term “famous” was a stretch

If I was being honest
I get jealous often
Of course
It doesn’t always seem like jealousy
It often comes across as
Frustration
Mostly at society
And how stupid people can be
Even something as simple as making
The top spot on Hello Poetry
There’s a standard I think the poem should
Reach
Arbitration done by me
To determine what’s up to quality
Has more to do with jealousy
Than me being an apt critic
Of poetry

I wish I was the type of romantic
Who felt confident in making
Forever promises
I suppose the right one
Doesn’t exist for me
I’m luckier than most
In lots of other ways
A one and only
Might be too much to hope for
Though so many people seem to find it
Or think they’ve found it
In reality
Very few actually do
But even still
They tried
It’s probably me who is the fool

Blackout
From you
I know you don’t do it on purpose
And maybe you don’t know I notice
You have no idea
How your presence effects me
And your absence too
I prefer it that way
There are no reins on you

Getting over you
Was like coming into the light
When I had no idea
How dark things had been
At first it even felt like
Feeling good was a sin
You had me so wrapped up
In self-inflicted doom
Apparently I needed to be scared
To want you
I look back on it now
How you reeled me in
So aware and on point
For whatever
I’d start feeling thirsty
And you’d suddenly be there with the
Perfect drink
You made what I want
Materialize
Before I started to think
I really wanted that thing
And suddenly
When I wanted anything you couldn’t
Provide
You blamed me for setting my sights too high
And still relied on that same false reply
“I give you everything you want.”

Little girls love nail polish
I’ve known many very rambunctious
Cannot sit still
Overly sugared, sweaty tomboys
Who suddenly sit bone still
For minutes on end
For some pink fingernails

You can see it
When it is going to rain
Trees turn up their leaves
It will rain within the hour
It is fail-safe
(It’s actually usually within the half hour)
I’ve never seen it be wrong
There have been times when I’ve
Seriously doubted
Rain was on the way
But the trees knew better than I
I now use my rain detecting talent
To let my youngest grandkids think I can
Make it rain
Trees can help humans
Be magic

I want to tell you that you are off
But that doesn’t mean you’re not wonderful
You are a lovely
Unbalanced person
I prefer to call myself a ******
But unbalanced is just as apt
I suppose that’s my way of telling you
All of the best people are weirdos
Your differences and quirks
Somehow it really works
Keep that in your mind
When haters are unkind

I don’t feel comfortable being a victim
I suppose I am
A victim
Probably more than most
I don’t like to stay a victim
Though being one seems unavoidable
****** up ****
Has routinely happened to me
Since I was a baby
Amazing **** too
I probably deserved it
Most of it
I was a knucklehead
And I’m still an *******
Sometimes
Which simply means I’m an *******
There is no such thing as being a little
*******
When it comes to assholery
It’s either all out or all in
Or maybe just wipe clean
And itch less
Being a victim
Feels itchy to me

I didn’t intend to give you as much as you got
But you monopolize a lot of my thoughts

This is your virtual
Mind massage
I can tell you need to put down your heavy
Thoughts
I am at your temples
Gentle circles
And then directing the vibes up and out
My palm across your forehead
An eraser on a blackboard
Thoughts out the top
Relaxed
Breathing
Steady and full
Your neck
So tight at first
Takes a little work
Feel my fingers gentle coaxing
Spine align
And knot forgot
Shoulders
Released of their load
Kneading out the memories
Of what you’ve been carrying
Blades and middles
Lowers and hips
Rubbed and oiled
Kissed with my lips
I hear you moan
I cannot stop
I’m taking you through bliss
I can tell you’ve never been
In it quite like this

I’m just gonna say it
And feel about it whatever you will
But if you’re still trying that *******
“let’s go Brandon,”
Like it’s the burn of the century
You can laugh as loud as you want
But the joke is not on me

Have you ever watched a hippo take a ****?
If hippos weren’t *******
They’d simply ****
And let it fall
But that is not the hippo way
Hippos rapidly shake their little
Stumpy tails
Spattering **** everywhere
And hippos are tightly packed in
**** spraying all over faces
And this is the way it is
In hippo world
And people seem surprised to find
Hippos are among the most violent
Kind

I just climbed on top of that fine guy
It was mostly obscured
And
He rode me first

Did you notice?
Probably not
You got right there
And couldn’t say it
I know you wanted to
I know why you couldn’t
It is not a shortcoming or a fault
To be a gentleman
A celebration of your positive
Qualities
Is in order
The world has got enough tough guys

I don’t think you recognize yourself in my
Poems
In that they are written for you
Of course, many will see themselves
As poetry is known to do
But you
The one who I’m actually talking to
I don’t think
You recognize you

You keep wishing for all these common things
And acting like it’s rare
You wonder where all the nice guys are
When you’re only receptive to the loudmouth punks
Lamenting the lack of opportunity
While snubbing your nose at the ones
Available to you
Because you’re better than that
You’re better than that guy
You’re better than that job
You’re better than those friends
And that neighborhood
I’m beginning to suspect
You are so much better
Than your capacity for being any good

I look to you for nourishment
Your presence feeds my soul
You are like grain
So unassuming
Yet absolutely vital
Soul nourishment
I don’t think you even know
You’re doing it

And that’s all I have to say about that.

You are a writer of beautiful
Vampire ****
I wouldn’t have previously thought
Vampire **** could be beautiful
But vampires are deep
And surprisingly subtle
Edgy yes
But also smooth
Who woulda thought
Vampires could be so **** cool

It is a win
When I ignore them
You know the type
The reaction they seek
Will be how they perceive it to be
They declare themselves a win
No matter how it really goes down
There’s really more consequence
Than reward
In trying to trip up a clown
The act gets old quick
And can somebody bring
A trapeze artist around?

You enter the mix
Uneventfully
Just there, one day
And it felt you had always been
No waves or even ripples
Just a gentle warming of the waters
And then you were there
Water becomes playful
And quenching
And
Absolutely Necessary

He doesn’t think I’m not worth looking at
I see him looking
He sees me looking too
It doesn’t seem to bother him
Though sometimes he pretends not to
Notice
Sometimes I pretend not to be looking
Sometimes we smile
And with all that pretending
It is a surprisingly genuine
Vibe
He and I  
Little moments
Over time