Maybe I’m intimidating
With all that brazen speculating
On what I see in he and me
And what I think we could be
Maybe I am just annoying
And altogether too adoring
Who knows what the reason be
That he is so thoroughly
Uninterested in me

Memories that I can’t erase
Of an imaginary happy place
You and I could be
If you’d only notice me

Hard way learner
Back burner
Is where I seem to stay
Not one compliment
He will pay
Despite the nice things I always say
Maybe I should rearrange
Tactics, goals, or honesty
Cannot figure out
How to get him to notice me
Losing battles fought for love
Are still lost
At whatever cost
No silver-lined cloud
I just said all that **** out loud
Right in front of the crowd
Everyone with the ability to hear
Turning to me their deaf ear
Maybe the fault is with me
Babbling on uncomfortably
While I think I’m being unique and sweet
I cannot tell the perception of me
But it’s all I can be
Just me
Who no one hears and no one sees

Needy
For some speedy
Attention
It could be
You don’t even notice me
But it is more likely you see
And don’t know what the Hell
To do with me
So doors stay unopened
And you peek through curtains
Out of morbid curiosity
Whatever it be
That makes you not acknowledge me
It ain’t from lack of trying
And it’s sort of unkind
To pretend to be blind
And leave me to dance here
Endlessly
If you have no intention
You could give that a mention
And put me out of my misery
Of splashing my foolish dreams
Out in these waters so publicly
But then again
You have no obligation
To set this foolish girl free
Maybe it’ll always be this way
But until I hear it from you
Here I stay
And this I do

I feel the effect
Of your neglect
But that’s something you’ll never see
When you don’t ever look at me

The gift of absence
Against my will
Probably healthy
But torture, still

You are put to good use
I’ve lost count of all
The nuts I’ve busted
With you as the muse
As far as nut busting goes
You, sir, are a pro
Even when you do not know
You are the best
******* mascot  
It’s pretty cool to be so great
At something in which
You don’t participate

Real and feel
Just have to rhyme
So I can write you a poem
About my real feelings
One more time

Step one
From hundreds of miles away
Not even sure if I’ll get there someday

Who knows what could be
The result of all this poetry
That he pretends he does not see

Coming up from behind
I ain’t exactly the subtle kind
Ringing, RINGING in your ear
And somehow you do not hear
Or you cannot let me near
Reasons are things we hold dear
Whatever they be
You know yourself better than me
But I make no apology
For saying all this; my peace
Displaying a part of who I be
Wishing that you would like what you see

Winning, and losing
Wanting, and choosing
What it be
Maybe we see
Already

She brings it to him
All over the table
Hodgepodge arrangement
Completely unstable
Yet true
And honest of what it be
No pretentions
Lots of dreams
When dreams, pretension seems

Nooks and crannies
Of who I be
I offer to share with thee
And trust in me
You will keep
To let me see
Your nooks and crannies

I want to entice you
Into complicit
When we fit it
Where it should be
As seen from afar by me

I choose to see
Narcissisticly
That the problem is just as much him
As it is me
But how can that be
When everything else
He does so perfectly?

Begging wouldn’t help
But I would
If it would
I have gotten on my knees
Prayerful pleads
With only myself to see
Myself begging on my knees
I am proud of me
Usually
Even when I’m on my knees
And maybe
Especially

Looks like it will take a miracle
And all I can see
Is its possibility
I’m not sure what that says about me
Or maybe it says more about what I see
Possibility
I don’t feel like it’s selfish of me
To include you
Permissionlessly
When I set my eye
On impossibilities
I have decided
Your place in my life
Is a possibility
And until I hear differently
That is where you will be

I put it all out there for you
Beg for your attention
In front
Openly
While you do nothing to encourage me
Some people may see that and believe
I’m one sad, sorry, sick puppy
But honestly
Putting my feelings out
Feels healthy to me
I suppose it’s irrelevant
Whether you see

Shall I write you poetry?
What is it you need to see
That would make you want to know me?

The joke
Is on you and me
And every single one of us
Occasionally
There is not one
Among
So **** cool
That they never played the fool

He does not want my attention
Avoids it, actually
He don’t come around no more
So he doesn’t have to see
Me
I must completely remove myself
To set that man free
Beautiful human being
I am gone from thee
You are free

I mourn for what we will never have
And things that might have been
If I could go back with what I know now
And do it all again
I would find you, then
If that impossibility was
Something I could achieve
You’d be the first person
I would go to see

It is nearly delusional on my part
My imagination
Of what could be
Between he and me
But nobody else feels worthy
Yet
I hope I meet the wonderful man
Who sets me free
From this
Unattainable fantasy
There’s gotta be
Someone close to perfect
For me
Somewhere
I do keep looking
So why can’t I see?  
Close to perfect
Apparently
Comes with a cloak of
Invisibility

One day my song will
Hit you in the
Right kinda way
That you will revisit
All throughout the rest of your life
I will bring you the feels
And the keeping it reals
Given freely
This life-long gift
That will outlive both of us
Sent with love
To you
From me

It will most likely be
You never will see
The value of me
It’s not blindness on your part
But inundation of gorgeous art
I cannot expect you to notice me
When you’re surrounded by so much
Beauty
It must be everywhere you
Peek
Someone displaying the best they got
For you to see
Then, there’s me
Amidst adoring faces sea
And in that boat in which you be
There’s so much beauty
Within a few feet
To bother with what’s in the faraway sea
Where I be
Making little waves
Adoringly

Losing
Both in front
And behind
What you didn’t know you didn’t have
You never will find
What you had and let go
Lost throughout time
Before you had good sense to see
The treasure it be
Losing’s done so cheaply
But it is never free

Every life leads to
Something bigger than
The sum of the parts
Tissues, fluids
Meat, bones
Kids
Creations
Art
What is left
Is rarely nothing
We live on
Somehow
The lucky ones

I want to whisper in your ear
As loudly and publicly
As a secret can possibly be
Open for everybody
Whispering audaciously

The circus comes to town
And sometimes right to you
No matter what you do
The circus will pass through
Relying upon it
Not smart to do
Unless you wanna let
The circus consume you

Moving forward often means
Excommunication
From something or other
Or someone
Attached to an idea
Or habit
Worse often comes in disguise as better
The healthiest way
Is rarely the most exciting
Or the easiest

She leaves a part of who she is
Everywhere she goes
Her true face she shows
To everyone she knows

Bedrock that did not cover the roots
Otherwise impossible
Except in
You

Sheer boredom
For a start
And where it go could be off
Uninspired offerings
Of what use can they be?
Spark may come
With the attempt
Art loves effort
“Try”
Art says
See what comes of it
“Caress me”
Art says
“Dance upon my canvas
Please”
Art begs
I give it my most fervent attempt
And maybe sometimes
I do it justice  
Art

Your tendency to overshare
You call “keeping it real,”
But there’s plenty we don’t need to know
Like how on your bio
You mention your fetish for cold steel
Between your **** cheeks
And call yourself a gun freak
Which in your case
Is just another way
Of calling yourself a ****** geek

If I didn’t know better
I’d assume she wanted the pain
She keeps grabbing the hot ***
By anything but the handle
She uses her finger to put out the candle
Melted wax
Dries on her hands
Leaving it’s fake skin behind
And she picks it off
Complains about it
And repeats it every time
She wears flip flops in the snow
Complains her feet are cold
She refuses to freeze any leftovers
And ******* when they get mold
It’s hard to be around her
Her game is getting old
Her friends are looking at their hands
And thinking they should fold

You’re always trying too hard
Laughing the loudest
Celebrating the most vigorously
And wailing at sad times
Almost inappropriately
You must feel something true
Under all that bravado
It’s a backwards way
Of not letting the real you show
Often the biggest feelings we see
Are just a smoke screen
For no feelings at all

We weren’t the type to share flowery
Feelings
He was a **** knucklehead
And he had his own opinions of me
I know I drove that man pretty crazy
Our language of love was spoken
High decibelly
Rattling the walls
Our whole family
But that doesn’t mean
The love wasn’t there
We just liked to express it
Very loudly

He is deep waters
Hidden under
A choppy surface
Many step straight from the shore
Assuming the floor
Inches away
And drop in over their heads
Unexpectedly
And one will wonder
How being under
Water
Can feel so fiery

I have no wings
In fact
I am crawling, too
Get on my back
Ride me like a horse
I will carry you

He moves my soul
Imperceptibly, for he
But it’s an earthquake to me

Yes
They will
They’re gonna laugh
They’re gonna talk behind your back
Sometimes truth, mostly skewed
Sometimes you’ll be the center news
Not usually
For things
You wanted anyone else to see
When the one in the story
Is “me.”
Mistakes, they’ll talk for eternity
Success is celebrated for a week

Battered body
Stomach scars
Dry skin patches
Rogue hairs
Funky toenail
Callus feet
Yet
If I snuggle up to you
It’s a real treat.

Wishes are free
And from what I can see
Pretty empty
But it’s not over, yet
We shall see

One day
He will notice
You just wait and see
How he notices me
So boombasstickly

How dare life go on
So brazenly
Time passing for others
So weightlessly
Smiles and laughter
And pure joy
I see
So many people
Living so weightlessly
I bear this load
My whole family
It’s more of a burden
Than I can carry
And then I remember
That I am me
And there is no load
I cannot carry
Alongside my family

There is no
“I really wanted it”
Alibi
Usually delivered
After numerous lies
Desire does not justify
Selfishness, theft, or lies
Some seem to have the
Misguided idea
They couldn’t possibly deny
Themselves the thing they wanted
Or else they’d surely die
Their needs, however
Unnecessary
Twisted in their mind
Become water in the desert
A nap after ten sleepless nights
The mind plays tricks to justify
Accompanying sins
And injured parties
Demonized
Left blowing in the wind
Tricks the mind plays on itself
To avoid admitting sin

Contrary to what they say
It doesn’t all come out in the wash
Some stains stay

The stage
The front row
Every seat
The wings
All things
Right on to the back
Balconies
Even restrooms
And behind the snack stand
Are all in the same theater
Hearing the same band

Life be wild and tangle
Brambles and bush
Burrs and slimy things
And falling on your ****
Life may be an adventure
Sometimes arduous
Other times
Full of glee
They say life is what you make of it
But why is it so **** reliant upon
Decisions we make when we’re teens?
For most of us
Life is decided
Before we are born
By whom our souls are entrusted to
Lots of people get children
Unprepared
With no idea what to do
Life is not what we make of it
It’s out of our control
Just something we tell ourselves
So we can pretend we know
How and why the turns of fate
Favor some, and deny others
It has nothing to do with
What we deserve
But what our parents have earned
Our fathers and our mothers