I’m not worried about you
My care is more personal
You’ve proven your chops
You’ve got it all
Choices, especially
You’re probably
Mostly right
For not wanting me
And the nutty ride
That might turn out to be  
But the good news is
I’m also not worried about me

Some days
There are shadows of spiders
Hanging peripherally
Almost to where I sort of see
And I haven’t yet figured
If they’re friendly

There is obviously
A deep-rooted incompatibility
Between you and me
I trust your judgment
You know you
Better than I do

I am glitter on Birkenstocks
A snazzy suitcase filled with rocks
A staircase leading anywhere
Dim for most the way there
Sometimes “who knows?”
Is the bestest place to go
Birkenstocks are comfortable
And diamonds are rocks too
What you think of me
Mostly
Depends on you

There goes my Mister
Walking by
Giving me a suspicious eye
I cannot imagine what he sees
Or if he even looks at me
Really
My mister he may be
But I am not his lady

We are one
Within these words
The spell of poetry
The best I can do
When we are really two

Right about now
The funk soul sista
Chasing after her mista
Whatever he did he sure musta
Got that sista all aflusta
Mista musta hit sista  
With a brick wall busta

Some days
You live in my mind rent free
All free
Yet  
Priceless commodity
Thoughts of you
Seducing me
To write all this poetry
Beautiful muse
Feeding my mind
Free for both you and me
The way it will always be
Test it out,
You’ll see

There you are
Nearly too far
But that’s just me
Looking at it optimistically

Moving away isn’t easy
I knew it wouldn’t be
Sometimes I like to pretend
You are missing me
Not enough, though
You’re much harder than I am
To let go

It makes no sense to me
That you don’t want to know me
But maybe you do
Maybe you just don’t want me
To know you

Potentially
(Actually, most likely)
It will turn out to be
One day
I’m writing another man poetry
And you’ll smile to yourself
And think fondly
“I remember when she
Wrote for me”
And those poems will always be
The only existence
Of the potentiality
And possibility
Between what could be we
And you will be happy for me

One day
These poems are going to mean something
To somebody
Besides me
Maybe not you
But sometimes poems do
Affect someone
Somewhere
Never around either of us two
Some lonely soul
Will spend time
Over these rhymes
Wishing for a poem
Just like mine
Maybe even in
A thousand years’ time
My feelings for you
Will still be on fire

Far apart
We may always be
But you probably won’t
Be forgetting me
And that may be our destiny
To only exist
In memory
Something felt
And never seen

Is it my inadequacy
Or at least
Your ability to see
The potential with me?
Do you already belong with somebody
And I’m a selfish *****
Thinking you should leave with me?

Is there something there?
Or is it thin air
How can it be
My inability
To see what’s right in front of me?

You should probably take the long way home
That don’t mean you shouldn’t let me know
A little bit
Could yield a lot of something
If my something is something to you
Nobody knows
Not even who
What somethings sometimes do

There was a spark
It has been lit
I don’t know
The strength of it
Could be burning for years
Or two seconds flat
Fires are tricky like that

It’s such a tragedy
You do not know me
But I’m just one of us two
It may be a blessing for you

I suppose I deserve better than this
A man who doesn’t care I exist
All gurus and such will advise me give up
Knowing this don’t change a thing
You the one who makes my soul sing
Whether or not you’re listening
Rather praise my deaf king
Than anyone or anything

What’s it gonna take
To move on past you?
Surely there’s something a girl can do
You’ve probably still got the heart of
Every woman you’ve been through
Better, and smarter, and hotter than me
Sweating over you un-deliberately
I do so invisibly
Words through the air
Plague of overshare
Too much, or too little
Too far the gulf
Bridge unbuildable
And this **** part of my heart
Seems so unkillable
And all I can do
Is work on my skillable
Hoping you’ll feel big
Some errant syllable
And give me a nod
Or a smile
And that would keep this girl happy
For a long while
Reality tells me in no uncertainty
That you are not at all
Interested in me
But fantasy
Compels me to ignore
The truth I don’t want to see
I wonder how long
I will believe
In impossible possibilities

What do I say
When I’ve probably said it all?
I gave you a detailed outline
Of the entire rise
And now, the fall
And the risk of being redundant
Ringing and ringing
While you avoid the call
Yet
Here I stay
Ready and willing
To repeat it all
Do you like to listen
Or ignore me completely?
Do you pay attention
Oh so discreetly?
Or do you wish I’d leave and hush up
Do I knock incessantly
On a door you never want to open
Do you want me to leave
And abandon the hoping
Is it an embarrassment to you
This desperate girl
Or am I shaming myself?
I could pretend
To disavow
The things I said I felt
But that wouldn’t be real
And I got so much more to feel
And probably no new way to say it
In any event
Until you tell me to go
I’ll be here to display it

I am at Peace
If it so be
The fruits of my labor
Are never eaten by me

I gained
And maybe
So did you
My gain is obvious
At least to me
If you gained anything
You won’t let me see

Let me rustle ya sheets
Get them bedsprings
Hopping to the beats
There be you and me
Salty sweet flings
Skin to skin of sweaty freaks

Your reaction to fear is silence
And you’re almost always so
And when you ever do speak
You make sure to say lots of nothing
Though
You want to pretend you’re cool
And for us to believe you’re strong
And lots may be fooled forever
I stayed that way for too long
But now that I’ve seen through the charade
I pass by the fool who is too **** afraid
But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t stop in to get laid

Those who have been conned
Will never admit
That’s how it be
And will really believe
The fool is me
And who knows
Maybe that is
The way it be

It hit the skids
Heading towards the *****
Of what can maybe happen
When you start talking about it
Led via vindictive
To a place unrecognizable
Becoming
Becoming
Less than we should be
Over the promise someone else
Will have it worse than me
And in knowing that
I will gladly
Pass my vote to thee
Make a big show of it
How strong we be
And put an end to our collective
Victim mentality

Slowly she dances away
But she’ll sway back
Any song
Any day
He says

Dancing expressively
Breaks from rules
Occasionally
Blending what could be
With reality
Penning odes of praise
For what should be
As written by me
Myself right there
For all to see
Maybe someday soon
These poems
Will make me think
Of someone other than you
Or it could be
These poems remind you
Of someone other than me

I suppose it’s a ****** for me
That you’re still
The most beautiful human being
I’ve ever seen
And maybe it’s a blessing
The ugly parts
Frailty really
And yet you’re still so beautiful to me
As imperfect as you be

It wasn’t a let down for me
It was a drop from a great height
Into the Dead Sea
All my fault, really
For seeing a man
So much better than he be
I suppose now, at least
I can call myself free

Beautiful muse
What I do to you
Permissionlessly
I bend you and shape you
To the will of me
According to who
I imagine you’d be
I wonder what you think
Of what I think I see
Maybe someday
You will tell me

The thought of you makes me sneeze
It’s not that I’m allergic
It’s because my brain is having an
******

You are the constant
Who I would choose
First
The yardstick of the strongest wood
Smacking up against my thighs
Filling me up with red and fire
And so what if it’s all a fake?
Only true for my own sake
Maybe I owe you an apology
For taking your apathy
So personally

He used to look
So perfect to me
But that was before
I could see clearly
Now, he’s just a faulted man
Still worthwhile
Maybe
Something I’ll probably
Never see

You ain’t built for this
And that’s OK
I’m gonna be around
Either way
Unless you ask me not to stay

You scream to me
Silently
Mostly about snuggling
Without meaning to
But there you are
Unintentionally
Screaming to me
Silently

And now it has become our place
Removers of the grievous waste
Of lunitical hypocrital D(Tr)unp  
Festering there
Right in the middle of our square
Stinking, frothing, full of ****
It is our place
And the time has come

My feelings for you are written  
As if upon the stone
Which will stay
Long after each of us are gone
Whether or not
Independent of anything
You and I are written
Whether or not we sing

What’s it like
To be a nutt bust muse?
Does the force send over vibes
When I’m busting a nutt
While thinking of you?
Nutts in shells
Will sort of do

I’ve decided
It’s not unhealthy
But who is ever right
In diagnosing their dreams?
How much does how it seems
Personally
Pollute
What really
Should be?

For whatever it be
You feel heathy to me
Blessing me
Creatively
With a vision
Horizon
Maybe you see
It as unhealthy
And possibly
It could be
I have an addictive personality

Can’t figure why you stay away
I tell myself you won’t want to someday
You could come
Or you could go
Please do something to make it so
Whichever way the stream will flow
We still gonna get there slow
But I need to know which way to go
Set me on my journey to find a home
And if it ain’t with you
Tell me to roam

It is my job to like myself
I am not gonna sell out
And be the typa person
I cannot like.
Things that are only my own business
But this is only how I feel about me
Whether you like you
Is your business, too

I ain’t never gonna really leave
Unless you ask me to
And then I’d go
Happy for you

I think your brain might be dead
Just sitting there
Rotting in your head
I cannot think of any other reason
You’d possibly have
For voting red

Letting go
Processed slow
Ain’t nothing else I got to show
You’ve already seen
You know what you know
Acceptance
Processed slow
Letting go

Obviously I was never part of the plan
Show up attention demand
Whether you notice
Or not
That’s what I am
If I’m thinking favorably
That you would even notice me
Much less like what you see
Who knows how true it could be?
Subtractions from additionally
Connections telescopically
Tunnel visions unreasonably
Bordering on crazily
Maybe

Lay a whisper on me, please
Set it out on the breeze
Nobody has to hear it
Not even me
Send me some love
Anonymously
If that’s the way
It has to be