I am not alone.

but I am sitting here with no company to keep
and so I feel lonely

I am not ugly.

but still I stare at this reflection as if it will change
and so I don't feel all that pretty

I am not stupid.

but here I am questioning what the hell is wrong with me
and so I feel inferior

I am not crazy.

but here I am.
and again.

I am questioning everything that is me

from the fabric I am wearing to the very fabric of my being
I am laying powder and sprouting mountains

I am surrounding myself with negativity
and somehow I am feeling so alive when I know I shouldn't be

I am not happy.

and I can say everything that I am not
but I can not figure out what I am feeling

I am not okay.

But my heart is beating
and so I keep trying