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 Mar 2016 King Panda
KD Miller
3/2/2016

It's March again
and I'm lost again
wondering about the Delaware

Feeling like a child
who got more than she could
bargained for

colds bitter
good, it was a short winter
I'll never be that wholehearted

girl again,
but it was a short winter
My writing is disgusting,

Only good when I'm suffering
and the thing is I'm suffering now
and I don't know why nothing is

coming out
The year is grey, egg washed and egg white,
Painted and glazed over with

typhoid
I don't walk anymore to the reserve
don't see a point in it

There's no motivation to
see the world
try to find beauty in things

I'm trying to find where
I went
and trying to find where

I put my sanity,
Left it in a biohazard box
picked it back up ungloved

I put my hiking boots up
feel bad for the unloved agronomias
and I think it always gets better

but since my poetry's getting worse
I can't say with certainty
my world won't either.
 Mar 2016 King Panda
CK Eternity
This is a poem about ***. I am a strong and beautiful creature. I'll buy presents for all my friends. The sand is to bed and sheets are to ocean.  I call myself unclean. I take another pill I find under the cushion of my neighbor's sofa. I play the violin in a dream. It started because I learned I was in love with you. I memorized the waves of your contours. I call up all my exes and leave voicemails on their answering machines. I'll break things into perfections.

I call myself unforgiven.
 Mar 2016 King Panda
CK Eternity
In the evening I will open a store
that sells shadows, to compliment the dying
of the day.

My first customer will be a man who
drowns himself in holy water, who buys his
dreams secondhand.

Dream analysis is useless on this one,
the metaphors are cheap and only relevant
to their original owners.

Instead of swallowing magic he will swallow
his own fears, he buys a shadow that will hide
his form completely, he stands in the center of the
stage, and with a flash and a bang he disappears.
Some playful shrimps clean the octolord's suction cups. One of their antennae buzzes a message up one of his orange tentacles and registers in the Octolord's mind: the silly sun is playing! Another shrimp: what's that sun up to now? The Octolord opened his mighty eyehole lids. The sun! What's...
NOTHING
I'm ****** at this.

I skipped class yesterday
and today and haven't seen

you in a few days because you
won't let me and that's valid.
I still wish I could help some

how I think of leaving you at
least once every day but
all I can think to say is
I love you and I'm yours.

My stroke of love
goes against your grain
and I am bade to withhold
in the presence of equals and
betters regardless of the claim

And the needs being
met with knees in the chest

I am uneasy.
rambling
 Mar 2016 King Panda
KD Miller
3/1/2016

"* The river is rising
      over the thawed ground
   and the banksides. When you come you bring
      an egg dyed lavender.
   We shout along our bank to hear
our voices returning from the hills to meet us.
   We need the landscape to repeat us.
[...]
      In the debris lay
   starlings, dead. Near the park’s birdrun
      we surprised one day
   a proud, tan-spatted, buff-brown pigeon.
      In my hands she flapped so
   fearfully that I let her go.
Her keeper came. And we helped snarl her in a net.
   You bring things I’d as soon forget.

     You raise into my head
   a Fall night that I came once more
      to sit on your bed;
   sweat beads stood out on your arms and fore-
      head and you wheezed for breath,
   for help, like some child caught beneath
its comfortable wooly blankets, drowning there.
   Your lungs caught and would not take the air.*"

wd snodgrass, 'heart's needle'

here it is and here i was
succinctly woman,
growing into my title as one
never deciding whether or not

to be the one to upturn her nose cruelly
or ground her feet into the dirt shyly.
i revel in my past

and i believe it happened, yes
reading back at old letters
two years prior to the day

looking for any
auspicious auguries,
anything that would have alluded to

this swollen self.
winter this year lasted
maybe a day

i cannot decide
if that is good for me or
for the earth,

but i have never been
an
excellent oracle.
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