When did I become so foolish and fall into the despicable trap of love?
I wander now, angry,
But still haunted by the ghost of lust and loathe.
I can see it sometimes wander into my room and stare at me as I sleep.
It's fore long glare exhumes ignorance and sabotage.
It analyzes me, selling false narratives for the cheap price of $5.
I wonder you know, how you feel, how you sleep?
I sometimes wander the prairies of dreams in search of that oh so delicate ring, that I will never find.
They call me Sisyphus now, my absurd attempts squandered as the boulder I am so
Determined to push, tumbles down
The hill and into the abyss.
I had faith, but now in the frigid darkness of a cold winter storm,
I feel alone.
Marooned upon an island and eaten piece by piece by piece.
Slow roasted like a pig.

You are my flower, that bursts from the seams of reality and tells me that their is true beauty in this world.
My one.
You are the cool breeze on my neck in the deluge of a summers day.
You are the warmth that brings life back to me.
You are my green light at the end of the dock,
Childhood to my Holden, fate to my Oedipus.
You are love that will pull me out of the inferno and carry me to the banks of a river.
You are my essence.

(The permafrost will thaw.)

you exhaust me
in the morning
where sunlit  window is in
terrible           defense

empathy is      an open house
come on in,     patients
you've got       the front door
as sicknesses   seep to me

Can a poem crunch
like a carrot in toddlers
teeth, chewed up quickly?

where
where is a friend in distress of mine?
so many people. none to love.
a body is unnecessary
don't you think? skin, flesh, bone are
too far a distance
so many interactions. none to connect to.
why would i isolate myself? that
just comes as natural
as a textbook

lover, you were seen
in the dark, galloping
toward an ending

lover, you and i
were a parrot, in the future
are AI. these lives
spiraling

down
down the consciousness
up the skies, i've seen blue
you might say, lover i've
seen it all

1/25/2017

the sky melted, sweating glass
for three days straight-
once, we marveled at the inexorable and eventual

at
the drop that makes the bough
bow.

i remember the ache
of the sunlight on my
crooked nape

one May day . We sit in a January cafe
"It is springtime," she announces
except these days, it's no emotional pantomime, not a hopeless mantra

"and why?" I beg a question
"oh, because something's starting"
she mixes milk into her honey

it is too sweet for me
the umbrella opens in the shop
"put that away, it's a bad omen" oh, as if I care

imagine me so treacly?
she talks about pregnancy and politics
about marriage

and something in me,
i realize
wants to be, is disgusted by my far future maternity

at the supermarket
there's a jingle
hey, mom, what's for dinner?

"Uh, hey, I feel like Plath... marriage is oppression and all that"
"Well, join the club. Oh, domesticity-"
"O'Hara said : There is only one man I like to kiss,"

I misquote, intentionally.
"Heterosexuality!
you are inexorably approaching!"

perhaps we can't wait
to be thirty and bored
with three kids

watching them play at the Minetta
wondering where the hell our time went
and there they'll sit

polish- to her irish, italian- to my puerto rican
new jersey mutts
i laugh

thinking of drunk days down on
53rd and Lex
we're not ready to live like it's 1953

*oh, johnny promised me
and i wear his
ring

let's skip lunch & get this over with
a little dance of a growing flower
one  at a time,  bland  & ignorant
girls tiptoeing, girls daydreaming
the corridor gives us chills
white, green, white,  green
for fear spellbinds,  we resist
will this be enough?

we never broke the walls
we found the door & it was open
w     i     d     e.  rather wide, so "off we
go"?  where? where?
the fountain behind the library
*                          *was beautiful, sister
sure,      it was

*
1. i shall put an end
2. to a tooth, two teeth
3. jeweled with pink
4.
5. a mouth is no more
6. than another tunnel
7.
8. the tongue is relaxed
9. and dry
0. go on, bite
1. as pain greets
2. and lives