This Heart of Mine;
has been thru the worst
from being shattered to crushed
as if each occurrence were rehearsed
which is why I have no trust
for those who claim to have interest in me
but are usually stragglers with no destination
never surprising how we go from friends to enemies
& I end up moving on with hesitation

But This Heart of Mine;
is made of Gold & twice the size of me
yet suffering from the damages of love
still a trapped object looking to be free
to be healed & unconditionally love
it grew to be stone cold but warm for the deserving
never loving with the attachments of a past love
while healing from it even when it’s still burning

- Poetic Venom

Am I a poet or am I crazy? For trying to bring change to his world
My poems beg those to help me from myself that’s caught up in this dark world
Am I a poet or am I dreaming? Guiding those like me to the light
Inside is where we’re heard screaming as we struggle to keep the fight
against ourselves when we battle with my demons
while telling ourselves that we’re Light & breaking down when our hearts end up leaving
Am I a poet or just crazy for trying to do what my heart feels within
one foot on the bright side & the other in the darkness where I make most of my friends
cause I see myself inside of them when I see that depression ripping them into
a million pieces & they only see the person society shows them when they look in the mirrors view
So am I a poet or am I just another writer on a mission
without throwing a penny into the well, I’m here wishing
for a brighter future for those just like me
guiding a line of overlooked angels who inspire to be great just like me
- Poetic Venom

You say you’re fine but deep inside
your scars is where your truth hides
Beneath your tears, the pain resides
confused with many choices tho you can’t decide
When you look into the mirror, what do you see inside?
a dark angel with faith or a lost soul struggling to survive
You’re surrounded by many yet you feel like no one resides
right next to you & your wings won’t let you fly
When the scars reveal themselves, what story will it reveal?
& if there’s a way to make it happen, how can you be healed?
You’re all smiles but I see that dark road to which you roam
where you’re disguised in the light but you still feel alone
- Poetic Venom

I promise myself I wouldn’t do this again
allow someone who let me down to break me again
but deep inside my heart, I can’t see myself without them
I think we’re meant to be but maybe I’m happier without them
Fooled me more than once but I somehow feel incomplete without them
& although terms ain’t the best, who’s to say my future is brighter without them
I’d be smart to walk away before it gets worst but a fool if I decided one more to try
to see if the wings that control this love will either fall flat on its face or actually built to fly
- Poetic Venom

I knew this kid named Jason who spent his afternoons locked in the basement
no father present & his mom an alcoholic, afraid of the light & hell feeling adjacent
been attached to many individuals but always ending up as a backup to a replacement
with death calling his name every day & he’s so eager to chase it
The only time his moms shows em attention is when she wants to beat him
because she’s still scarred from an abusive father so like trash is how she treats him
& numb her pain, she either fills her body with substance or brings hell to her seed
locked in this hell we call life, Jason just wants to be free
What his mom doesn’t know is that Jason gets bullied at school
for being gay & a nerd, the punishment he takes is just cruel
alone he sits in the corner with the music blasting in his ears
watching the world spend around him as he exist in fears
not knowing when someone will push him around or throw his books in the trash
or the next time he’s made of in front of the class
especially when the teachers see this horrific events play out but they don’t intervene
to help him & I’m there looking from across the room in disbelief of what I’m seeing
One day we walk in class before everyone else & I notice something different
that caught my eye without even paying attention
I see scars on his arms & a bruise located on his neck
so I approach him to question the damage he’s trying to hide
“I was jumped at home & my mom abused me last night” he replied
He begins to cry right before me & I break down as I hear the pain in the voice
so I walked him to the restroom as I’m left without a choice
I asked him “Why do you get bullied so much? What’s the reason you’re being targeted”
he tells me that it’s because he’s gay & the abuse is pain he mother feels from what his father did
he used to beat her whenever she came home late from work or if he felt like she was cheating.
And he **** near killed her on her 45th birthday after hearing she was leaving.”
So I asked how she managed to escape that experience & his response brought tears
He said “She shot him while he was trying to **** her, she finally got tired of the fears
but something inside of her hasn’t healed yet so she gets drunk every day
to numb the pain but every day I pray that she finds herself & escape
the prisoner within herself that still haunts her since that night
then I looked at him & told him, I’m about to change your life
He then looks at me & says “What do you mean?”
I said, “Just stick with me from now on & I promise you’ll be safe while you’re here”
I hate bullies & as long as you’re with me, you have nothing to fear
Why do you even care about me? What makes you any different
I said “We’re in a bathroom alone & you’re not screaming help within the distance”
“So you don’t see me as a “******” or just some nerd with cuts his skin?”
No, I see you as a gift from God with a bright future who’s trying to win
Someone trapped in the wrong world with no friends nearby
An angel flying solo but terrified while sorrowing thru a dark thundering sky
So a month goes by, my phone rings, & I hear Jason crying
I’m calling his name but he’s not replying
crying Jason crying Jason pill bottle drops JASON as I yell out
Whatever you do, just relax & put the pill bottle down
Dre …. I can’t do this anymore, I don’t wanna live anymore … I’m sorry
He gasps for air with 15 pills swimming in his body
I rushed to his house, kicked open the door, & sprint downstairs to the basement
JASON … JASON … JASON … dead silence as I make my way through the room
& there I find him, passed out & bleeding from his arm in a pool of blood in the bathroom
“911 … yes, I’d like to report an emergency. My friend isn’t breathing”
I give them the address then Jason opens his eyes … Dre don’t go, “I ain’t leaving”
5 mins later, the paramedics show up, Jason overdosed on sleeping pills
“Was he suicidal?” they asked, “Yea, he’s going through a lot & you know depression tries to ****
us with the mind tricks it plays on us trying to convince us that we’re better off dead
And there I am, crying & praying as I sit next to his hospital bed
Jason wakes up at 8:15 pm, “Dre, what happened to me?”
I blacked out & all I remember is seeing my dad molesting me
“You tried to **** yourself”, I said. “You called me crying & I rushed over to your house”
Raced down to the basement to see all over the walls, the floor, & your couch
“You know when I took those pills, I wasn’t expecting you to save me”
“Why would you think that?” I replied. “Because I thought you’d leave after seeing my darkside
& the thought of you doing the opposite, I thought I was crazy”
With your back against the wall & the whole world against you, I’ll be there to have your back
& I don’t call you my brother cause it sounds cool or because I want something back
You’re a good kid Jason, you’re just mixed up in a cold world trying to survive
but as long as I’m alive, I’ll make sure you never need a reason to be revived
As the Lord is my witness, you’ll always have a brother in me
& I have so much faith in you because you remind me of a younger me
At war with yourself trying to be better & inspire others to be great
so I’ll always love you for having a massive heart regardless of suffering from the hate
- Poetic Venom

You tell me I’m missing but you fail to see my vision
on how i feel like everyone is against me
Either you’re tryna love me or you tryna take me out
drag me thru your hell & get mad if i make it out
Soft hearted & easily forgiving
Lost of interest & never holding anyone back from leaving
I won’t beg for you to understand me
I won’t beg for you to understand this feeling
I don’t expect you to relate to someone’s whose paranoid & contemplate self killing
Don’t tell me to chill, this is how i feel
I can’t be wit you if i can’t be real
I can’t find myself but I’m still on the search
I lost myself thru the lies & the hands laid on me from church
from a pastor telling me that I’m unique from my head to my feet
But the Devil is telling me i ain’t **** which is why i can’t avoid defeat
Maybe I’m sick or maybe I’m hopeless
Depression was hereditary, i never chose it
Feel my heartbeat, maybe you can follow its rhythm
& drown within my alcoholic sorrows that swims in my system
My tears created the rain & the breakage in my heart made it thunder
but the real me lies deep in my soul waiting for someone to discover
the true essence of what I’m really made of
& once they find out, their reaction is what I’m afraid of

I've had hills to climb & tears to cry
I've endured scars but I don't ask why
I've barely seen the sun & have danced with the rain
I've soared thru the storms of my sorrowed skies
I've been the subject of rage, from bruises & sore bones
to ****** wounds to living my own nightmare exposed

I've been attached to a source to numbs the pain
falling for a temporarily killing but still hurting the same
I've looked death in its eyes just to realize
that I was looking at myself thru my own tearful eyes
More setbacks than numbers can count & more trails than a convicted killer
Been lost more than I could be found, still looking for the forgiveness of a sinner

Through it all, I keep my head held high
still haven't managed to fly but I still try
God's Plan is never known or understood but in due time, it's explained
so no matter the storm & no matter how hard the journey becomes, I Won't Complain
- Poetic Venom