If you are looking for me
I will be at 3 am
with the poets
searching for the right words to illustrate emotion
with the painters
who feel words are not enough
with the doubters
staring at the ceiling, feeling they aren't worth it
with the prayers
looking to the light for the strength they rely on
with the dreamers
living with a whole universe in there head
with the believers
positive their dreams will come true
with the broken hearters
whose dreams fought with reality
with the troubled
finding it hard to shut their brain off

So if you are looking for me
the poets, the painters
the doubters, the prayers
the dreamers, the believers
the broken hearters, the troubled
and me
will all be
at 3 am

I saw things
nobody knows
I know things
you don't show
You know
my fascination
You know your
my inspiration
I can explain
why you do what you do
I can't explain
why I know you
But I know
what lies in your soul
I don't really know you but somehow
I know you in whole

I  used to look at you and see
pig tails and neon shoes
I used to hear you talk about
arts and crafts and cool cartoons
I used to talk to you and you seemed like
a kind soul, just tangled in some drama
I used to know you and you were,
harmless sometimes you got hurt but you always ran back to mama

Then kids grow up
Miss pigtails and neon shoes grows up
brains grow
bodies grow
souls grow
feelings grow
bad feelings grew
very bad feelings
a forced possessed you

I don't know where these feelings came from though
I don't know where these decisions came from though
I don't know where this monster came from,
though

I don't see you anymore
you wouldn't do something like this
I know that
I hope that

I don't see you anymore
I just see a
monster

they said he was dangerous
but she longed for some danger
they said he was a ******
but she was too
they said he was lost
but she just wanted to be found
they said he grew up on the wrong side of town
but she was bored of little, perfect, bland universe
they said she was too pretty for him
but he was the most beautiful creature she had ever gazed upon
they said they knew him
but they haven't even began to uncover the magic, the fascination, the elegance of the darkness that breathes inside of him
they said no one could love him
but she told him she loved him
and he said he loved her too

blank page
coffee stains
falling apart
empty heart

she hasn't met
who she longs for yet

but she keeps dreaming
until then its all
blank page
coffee stains
falling apart
because of an empty heart

Tik
a second passes
Tok
another one gone
Tik
each one her fists clenched harder
Tok
eyes squinted ready to strike
Tik Tok Tik Tok Tik Tok
she sat
as a bomb
waiting to go off
each blink,
each bitten nail,
each pencil tap,
each thought,
brought us all closer
to the explosion

waiting to turn her world upside down
as she often did when life stomped all over her
or simply when she got bored of the usual
waiting to turn everyone's world upside down

because when she went through that door
she new just what she was going to do
her victim, clueless
the filmer, ruthless
the people, not expecting this
her, heartless

so then it happened
she erupted
she did to her victim what she felt life did to her
and everyone felt the ripple
by the next hour everyone felt the feeling
the rush,
the shock,
some felt the despair,

it started as simply an odd day
but by the end
our whole world was dented
her,
she sat
recharging from,
thanking people who stood by her during,
relieved of the feelings from,

the fight.

heart racing
mind stopping
feet moving
mind wandering

wishing
dreaming of
blissfully
leaving

what I could of done
should of done
would of done
didn’t
eat a hole
through my soul

added to the room
where my insecurities brew