Strength yet so weak
Love yet so much anger
What are we doing to each other?

I feel small and useless
A fire that has been kicked out
Only the smallest trail of smoke signalling life
My eyes peer around every corner
Why do I feel fear?

I don't want to feel this way forever my Love
Are we here to break each other's hearts?
I cling onto the happiness I have with you

Tell me Baby
Are those words what you really think?
I know I can't forget everything
No matter how much I love you

I can't lose who I am

The anger pierces me like a knife
My wounds are wide open today
Part of me is saying good bye
The sliver of strength seeps out with my tears

I would never want to see you unhappy
It seems the blame always lands on me
I know I did wrong
Yet I cannot ignore your responsibility
Seems invisible to you sometimes

I can live with pain
Yet everyone has their limit
Saying I'm approaching mine rips me apart
In a similar way that your words do

What would be if I said all those things to you?
I have not once threatened to leave you
Do I make it so easy to walk right in and out of my life?

You shut me out for what seems like a life time
We cannot talk it out until later
I do not know what to say or do
I can only take so much

Old thoughts cross my mind these days
Luring me to inflict more pain
So far I can stand strong, fighting that urge
It grows stronger with every fight we have
Hell, even discussions escalate so quickly

Lashing out in anger, I can't shield myself from every hit
I have told you this before
In order for me to live, that has to change
Nowadays I cry because it has only increased

I can only take so much before I break

Many say brown eyes are nothing special
Agreeing would be lying
Yours are a fountain of hope

They can reflect your emotions so clearly
I'd hope to say that when I see them again
I'll get to stare and smile

On the coldest day
Will I be able to turn around
To be warmed with one look
Is that a possibility for me?

They're beautiful is what I want to say
Instead I'll settle for staring
Hoping that my eyes will meet yours
I wish you could have green eyes for a day

To see yourself through mine
See all the love that I have for you
The aura of life that you spread for me
Your eyes are the spark of something I had hoped would never end

The lush green is fading
A lonely void takes its place
I don't know if I can do this without you

The looming reality
Time is running out
I'm fighting alone now

Best friend
It couldn't last forever
I didn't want it to end this way though

Ride or die
Was your lie
Say it one last time

The lies that might surface
I hope they won't cage me in
Otherwise I'll have to run

Then I truly will be alone

So valuable yet so fragile

If I could turn back time I would
I would sacrifice everything to right my wrong doing

Just thinking about it makes me want to die
Please don't take my words lightly
I don't want your fear of losing me to become reality

Regardless of those words
I can feel myself dying inside
Each thought brings me closer to the end
Each tear turns into drops of blood
Each sob tears me apart

I don't know what to do anymore

I can't breathe
My own body is rejecting me
I'm sick to the stomach and thoughts pierce me like bullets

I shiver with every second that passes
Out of disgust or fear I do not know

My mind has become my prison
Caging me into pain and sorrow
Not only did I betray your trust
I betrayed myself to an extent I knew not possible

Is that me I see in the mirror?
All I see is a mistake within a mistake
A mistake born from a strong woman and a treacherous storm

I found my strengths yet ignored the cliff at my path
Thinking that I would be better

Now I have become a storm of my own
Not one that brings rain and dark skies
The kind that one wishes to never see
Just as treacherous as the one I was born from

The other half of my soul
Watches in despair from the ground
Knowing that soon thunder and lightning will come
The wind will tear everything apart
What will survive this storm?

The only thing the eye can see
Is a skeletal flower turning to dust
A beautiful and gloomy death

I could have been better than this

Pull the restraints tighter my Love
For I will try and break free
To keep the possibility of pain away from you
To save me from myself