I wish my words would caress your soul
I want my heart to speak your language
I wish I could paint your mind sinful  
I want to put your brain onto a stage.

I try to yell mountains but you hear a hill
I try to paint waterfalls but you see streams
I yearn to dance the breeze yet you hear nill
I aim to preach worlds but its a distant dream.

I am picking up letters.
I’m grabbing words,
I’m threading sentences,
Stacking books up high,
Building walls of worlds,
Building mountains,
To protect my sanity.

I like to think of it as
The eye of the tornado.
I see joyous interactions,
Movement and panic
All around me but,
Me? I’m calm. I feel
Alone. I feel empty
As the people around
Me are full. They all
Are so happy but I
Feel isolated. As if
They stole all of my
Emotions to support
Their own well being.
How can I feel so alone
When I’m surrounded
By opportunities?

The lines cross, intersect,
As they delicately settle.
They leave, come back,
tell me that they
Will visit again later.
There are patterns,
Pictures, paintings
And memories all
Spread out over the
Design. How many?
How many strings?
Who have they touched,
Do others see them?
I see them. I see them
Dangling, draped over
other people’s shoulders
Wrapped around their
Necks, falling off
Laying in the street.
Or sitting on display
Similar to a crown.
There are so many webs.
I wipe them away, but
some are here to stay
Clinging to my heart.

Suddenly I’m a child again.
I’m jumping from pillows
As if my life depended on it.
Miss grab a couch instead-
A cheap move but necessary.
The game’s playing in my head
I’m pretending reality is lava
Pillows are temporary, and
Reaching for a couch is acceptable.

I’m drowning
I can’t breathe
I can’t function
I can’t think.

As I lay in bed the sheets
Become snared around limbs
I fight to set myself free as
The blankets embody me

In a comfortable tomb.
I sleep to remember
But I drink to forget
The dream, the essence

Of you.

If only, if only,
Said the jay to the dove
If only if only
You’d be my true love.
If only if only
The dove then replied
If only if only
you’d stay by my side.
If only if only
The treetops were gold
If only among them
Our futures were told.
If only if only
The dawn broke the night
If only if only
Our demons would die.