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173 · Apr 2023
Going cold
Katlynn Grilli Apr 2023
Sometimes I dream of this chest going cold
I picture icicles hanging from my heart forming beautiful chimes in the wind 🌬️
One day my music will be heard followed by tears and sorrow.
145 · Apr 2020
Untitled
Katlynn Grilli Apr 2020
shhh

I don't want to think about the many tones in the wind that's blowing past my ears.
I don't want to think about each spark that flies up from the fire.
I just want to enjoy the warmth.
I don't want to think about all the many stitches in my blanket.
I just want to feel the comfort.
I don't want to think about the bubbles escaping my nose when I'm swimming.
I just want to sit at the bottom and take in how beautifully clear it is.
I don't want to think about thinking anymore.
I just want live, and not exist.
144 · Apr 10
Tornado Hitting No Where
Round and round in this tornado
Snatching up every part of me that couldn’t escape its path
We spin fast
Fall and then rise and then left and then right
Faster and faster till you get to the eye
It becomes calm there
Still watching the wind and objects spin around you
I’m just waiting for everything to stop spinning
Will I plummet to the ground quickly?
Will I fall so softly?
Will I die before I reach the ground ?
Will I jump back in ?
What will I do in this tornado?
136 · Jul 2023
Where is she ?
Katlynn Grilli Jul 2023
I like to disappear from time to time
Give my lungs a break
Before they crystalize in nicotine
Give my head a break
Before it explodes
Give my body a break
Before it crushes itself in
I like to check out
Because then everyone starts wondering?
“Is she dead?”
“It was the cigarettes”
“It was the mental health”
Then I pop back up like a spring
Blowing everyone’s minds making them wonder
“How is she still here?”
I just like to disappear.
127 · May 2024
Where’s the switch ?
Katlynn Grilli May 2024
I keep looking for this on and off switch in my head.
Turning corners
Wondering where the switch is.
Those switches are for my emotions
But I can’t seem to find the right one.
There’s no labels
It’s like going through a fuse box and looking down the hall way to see which switch turns off which room
But this isn’t a room
And there’s no switch to stop all this.
Turn it off
107 · Oct 2024
That Beautiful Bridge
Katlynn Grilli Oct 2024
The bridge calls my name
Whispers sweet nothings
And will eventually sweep me off my feet.
107 · Jun 2
Untitled
These prison doors will open soon
These shackles will be removed
The taste of freedom will dance in my tongue while I dance in the sun
I will slowly walk not run
Enjoying and taking everything and have all the fun
I will not hear the sword sharpen by your mouth any longer
My heart will not be pierced
Do you care ?
I wonder
I shall leave here
I shall not fear
Maybe I’ll even have a beer
A party is to come
Alone I shall be
The person I become
Is someone you’ll not be allowed to see
The darkness will not follow
I’m determined there be no more sorrow
From the person meant to protect me
I’ll soon be smiling and free
103 · Jul 2024
What a shame
Katlynn Grilli Jul 2024
I just saw your name
And **** what a shame
You’re still breathing
Hate you mean it
101 · Oct 2024
Untitled
Katlynn Grilli Oct 2024
Nothing from my mouth means much
I am silenced
I am unheard
Nothing from my mouth carries volume
I am over looked
I am unappreciated
Nothing from my mouth makes sense
As I am driven away with screams from your mouth that seem to hold much power in my head.
My mouth will have power once again.
97 · Nov 2024
I shall not
Katlynn Grilli Nov 2024
I shall not beg for your crumbs
I shall not eat at your feet
I shall now bow down with hands outstretched together towards you hoping for any ounce of love of nurturing.
My hands are clean my heart is pure.
Your mind is corrupted by the greed your heart produces so deep you can’t even see it
I shall not beg for you to do what you should
To do what you have an obligation to
For maybe you have no obligation to me but me to myself to set these boundaries.
I shall not allow you to enter my mind space and steal what I cherish.
I shall not beg for your crumbs when there is a full meal for me to prepare
To be strong
Katlynn Grilli Sep 2024
When I am gone
Remember the actions you showed
And the intentions behind them that you’ll never own up to.
When I don’t want anymore to do with anything
Remember what your mindset was
Remember how you never could hear anything other than your own excuses or lies
Remember who was telling the truth and labeled a liar
Remember the liar who was always believed.
But you’ll never get a glimpse of my truth.
You don’t deserve it
60 · Jun 1
Destinations
I want to know what it's like to have a quiet mind
I want to know what it's like to stop searching with nothing to find
I want to know what people are actually thinking instead imagining the worst
I was happy at first.
I saw lights and smelt perfumes
now its fighting my mind with everything that I basically "assume"
I went to parties and stayed out late.
Now I stay home and stay up late.
I sleep all day and I fight my thoughts away.
Maybe the medications are the way.
If you're fighting this too
I'm also with you
Not like the ones who say it
But don’t mean it
Yes, you are great,
While I fight my fate
While I fight it alone
On this flight where will I be flown
I do that sometimes
Make up destinations
with no expectations
just imaginations and fascinations
My god I need a vacation
where will it be?
to the land of Zoloft?
no
Maybe the village of kolonopin
OH
A trip to the Aderalls.
Yeah those feel about right
oh I bet I'm sight
I bet I'm a sight
54 · Apr 25
I am my hero
I was looking for Superman
Spiderman
Batman
Any hero
To save me from the fists
The hands
The body
The breath on the back of my neck
The sweat falling onto my face
But I was met with continuous unbearable repercussions for actions I didn’t partake in
There was no superhero there to save me
But the villain is slayed
By all the parts put together that were once used against me
No law made him pay and he took his own way out
I needed a hero then
But I’m my own hero now
I slay my villains
I fight my battles and I charge into any war there is because Superman didn’t fly down to my rescue
Spider-Man didn’t catch me with his web
And Batman didn’t pull up when I sent out that signal
I did it
I slayed my villain
I am my hero

— The End —