i told you i was happy
that it was the weekend.
you then asked me why.
i said it was because i
have been deprived of
sleep lately and you
replied with a sigh.
you said i seemed tired
but then you asked
if i was okay.
i said im not to sure cause
its changes every day.

you asked me if i knew why i
couldnt sleep lately and i
honestly said i didnt know
why.
hmmm would it be wise
to start calling you adam?

r.a.

A silence with you
Is not
a silence

But a moment rich
with peace

Did you know?
I'm sure you didn't
That somewhere below
Somewhere forbidden
There is a shadow of doubt
A valley of death
A thorn that won't come out
Stealing your breath
A wall of scales over your heart
Hardened to stone
A sadness pulling you apart
Knowing you're alone
That no one can help you
No one can save you
No one can break through
And who would want to?
There's nothing here but ashes
Broken dreams and shattered glasses
Your feet are cut and your hands still
A hole of misery you can't seem to fill
No blood left to spill
Nothing left to ****
Nothing worth knowing
Nothing worth showing
An empty husk, a barren world
A beautiful rose come unfurled
This is the end
This is your life
Can't defend
Can't make it right
Dead is what you are
Dead is how you'll stay
Happiness is so very far
And so easily taken away
....But did you know?
I'm sure you didn't
That nothing is broken
And everything is forgiven
I came to this desert to plant a seed
To turn the soil and let you see
To light the dark and set you free
To give you something to believe
Someday you'll see it wasn't all me
These shadows and motes are protection
To hide something beyond detection
The smallest flame of the thinnest candle
So fragile, the lightest breeze it couldn't handle
But you're wrong, it will never go out
It will burn through this cage
Set fire to your doubt
It will smolder every page
Of your sins you couldn't live without
It will take your darkness
And close the wounds shut
Soften your heart from the hardness
Bring fire back into your blood
It will burn you forever
Never let you go
Never let the pain
Torture you so
You are perfect, it's only fact
You must love with your heart and never take it back
Before anyone can truly love you too
You must simply learn to love you
If there is anyone that deserves your flame
It is the one who brought it to life
It is you who deserves the blame
It is you who lights the night
To put it short and sweet
If there was a way I could,
There is always one who believes
Who needs your kindness if you would
It was you, always you
That loves you, so love them too
Someone so perfect you need nothing else
If only I could show you how to love yourself

Who knew, who could?
Who hurt you? Who would?
Who couldn't believe?
Who felt you breathe
And decided to leave?
Something I see
Inside the depths of your eyes
Something so free
Beyond your modest lies
Something is on fire
With the breadth of wind
The stillness of water
The quake of the earth
Such a beautiful liar
The last standing friend
The laugh that caught her
Never knew her worth
Are there words for her?
The stars that align in her eyes
The beautiful summer blur
Moving on without compromise
Catch it before its gone
And maybe you can be the one
The curve of an angels wing
In the grace of her cheek
Like warm snow before spring
In her lips before she speaks
Hands to beat the devils touch
Cause my heart to race so much
Her soul kindled by music and dreams
Reality never made a place for you and me
Her skin is like home
A place where you belong
Where nothing is wrong
Where the seeds of love and life have grown
Her voice like a wind chime on a stormy night
In the depths of fog she is my only sight
A million years I lived before you
But to make you smile
To let you know love loves you too
Makes it all worth while
To take the last tear from your beautiful face
Replace it with a smile that could light this place
To let you know there is nothing to fear
That nothing can touch you while I am here
To hold you outside of a black hole
So you know I'll never let you go
It may seem like its all for you
But you love to make me selfish
Cause the fire in my heart leaves me helpless
And nothing in this world was ever so true

Craving affection, I did what any girl would do.
I knew he wanted me
and I knew I would regret it
but I pushed past the guilt
and willed my thumbs to be bold
because my mouth would not.

                                                     * I'm bored. Want to make out?

He replied almost instantly
though not looking in my direction
where I sat not more than a foot away.
My phone buzzed.
One new text
Open.*

I convinced myself he would know it didn't mean anything.
So I kissed him in the poorly decorated guest bedroom.
I didn't like the way his mouth felt
or the way his hands passive aggressively caressed me.
He was surprised by my utilization of lip nibbling.
He said he could get used to it.
He closed the door.  

                                   "I'm not going to have *** with you."

He's terrible at pretending he's not phased by this.
I don't let him walk me to my car,
fearing he'll expect a goodnight kiss.
But that's not what this is.

Maybe he'll realize
I was longing for someone else's kiss.