My body is not a temple,
and my mouth not meant to praise.
I ate the forbidden fruit;
in my Sunday best,
tasting the bitter juice
on my tongue while being reborn
in the glory of God’s plan.

Adam and Eve
Adam and Eve
Adam and Eve

but there’s no place for girls like me in heaven.
I’m not strong enough to rebuke the Devil,
to be cleansed of impurity.
I pray to be made normal,
for Jesus to lay healing hands
on my sick mind.
No longer a prisoner of my thoughts.

Repent
Repent
Repent

I’ve mastered deception,
letting boys kiss my neck
with lips that feel like church.
I touch the right spots,
make the proper sounds,
if I close my eyes tight I can drift away.
The Lord’s will be done.

Lies
Lies
Lies

I’m left with boiling blood
that reeks of self-loathing.
And I hate god,
for declaring me an abomination
because I will never serve my husband,
and dream of loving a girl
that doesn’t make my skin crawl.

I will be free
I will be free
I will be free

I am not ashamed.
And I am not afraid to die,
bathed in the sin of my sexuality;
for any deity worth worship
will not close the gates to paradise
because of how I’m made.
I am worthy.

My body is not a temple,
but it will be reclaimed.

-K.M.