Small ****
Big hips
Crooked smile
Slow denial
Fat face
I can't erase
Thin hair
Great despair
Green eyes
Sad goodbyes
Wide nose
Legs closed
Ugly face
A disgrace
Brown skin
I can't live in
Broken heart
I need to restart

Brown hair, I declare
Green eyes, I love and despise
Tan skin, count me in

You anger me more
than anyone I know
But you're always on my mind
when I'm feeling low
I fell in love with you slowly
From age eleven to seventeen when
your voice dropped to a lower key
Your voice stuck in my head when pitched high and low
I thought of you even when you were chubby with flow
But now you've grown up and become a man
Whilst I am still a little girl with no plan
Although I still think about you day and night
It is a secret that requires all of my might
For if I confided my dreams about you
I would hurt a good friend
Which I guess isn't new
Please stop asking my dad about me
For we both know we were never meant to be

Lost in her thoughts
while smiling at me
She was giving up hope
that I could see
I wanted to tell her
how much I care
Not knowing exactly
how I would fare
Her eyes flickered
reminiscent of a green sea
But I knew deep inside
she was crying on one knee
Begging her Heavenly Father
that she wouldn't veer
Her Father comforting her
saying he was near
I wanted to hug her
and stay by her side
All the while
wanting to cry
For she didn't see
the beauty she had
Instead she thought herself ugly making her sad
But with the greatest
gift at hand
She was going to make
a valiant stand
One for her Father
who stood by her side
For this reason
I knew she'd survive
Although there is still
an ache in my soul
I know she has a Father
she can always uphold
She will overcome
the struggle at hand
I know she will make
a valiant stand

I sit atop my bed
Filled with hopeless dread
Wondering what life would be like
If I myself were liked
What if I was popular
What if I was cool
What if I made all the boys at school drool
Instead I'm sitting on my bed
Watching baby birds get fed
Wishing I were dead

You're rotten. You're horrible.
The feeling of insecurity descends upon me like the angel of death descended upon the Egyptians.
Depression, suicidal thoughts come to me the way that the answers to incredibly hard math problems come to geniuses.
I fight to push them away but they cut through my sanity with claws razor sharp.
The innocence of my childhood has faded into the moral corruption of adolensence.
The purity of girlhood has been slashed by the hardships of teenage life.
I try to keep my eyes pealed for the target but alas I'm losing focus and am hearing the screams of other's souls.
I hear someone moan, I realize the moan came from deep within me.
This wasn't a nightmare anymore it was sheer reality.
Reality had settled my fate.

Fear,
What makes me walk down other hallways to avoid communication.
Fear,
When I step on the scale and gain weight.
Fear,
When my mother asks me why the knife is on the bathroom sink.
Fear,
Seeing my face in the mirror.
Fear,
Hearing my name called to make a presentation.
Fear,
When a friend asks me if I'm okay.
Fear,
When I'm home alone and my mind starts scaring me.
Fear,
That feeling in my stomach before I go to school.
Fear,
What stops me from participating in events.
Fear,
Thinking that they will find out.
Fear,
What is slowly killing me.
Fear.