I was asked to write of a person I know
and turn it into poetry.
I could only think of you
no one else came to mind.
And the only words
that I could think to say was.
Beautiful.
No matter how hard I tried
all the comparisons I could make about you
just turned into a list
of why I think you’re beautiful.
In every way imaginable.
Every tiny little detail about you
that makes me love you even more.
But then I remembered
that time long ago
when I used to notice
more and more little things
everyday of my life.
But now that time’s been gone for years.
Now I only see you in passing glances.
Only for a second or two.
Only every once in awhile.
Yet still my heart pounds like nothing else
and my hands shake.
More than when my life is in danger.
Just at the sight of you.
I thought I had found someone I loved
I thought that I had moved on.
But then you reminded me
just what it feels like
to really love someone.
You reminded me that
there is nothing like the feeling.
But I don’t want to be with you
for you will never love me again.
If you ever did at all.
So I will search for another
whom I can love
but who
will return the feeling.

Why did you have to be so stupid
Why did you have to do that ****
Why did you let yourself go down that path
Why would you think it’d turn out any different
Who gave you that ****
Who encouraged you to act a fool
Why did you slip away
Why did you push away your friends
Why didn’t you think to get help
Did you think we’d judge you
Cause we wouldn’t have
We would have been mad
Out of fear that this could happen
No other reason
We would have screamed
But it would have been out of love
For none of us wanted you to leave
No one wanted this to happen
We feared for it
We wished anything but this
Being arrested again, or ending up in the hospital
Seems like a party
Compared to this
Now you’ve left us all
Left us to wonder
Why you slipped so far
Why we didn’t try and help
We would have all helped
We would have all been there for you
But you wouldn’t reach out
You just let that needle numb the pain
You let what kept you from us replace us
You let a drug push your friends away
Then turned to it to relieve the pain of them being gone
I know I can’t know what you thought on your last day
But if you had come to us instead
If you had looked for help from us
We would have gladly held you
And helped you get through it
But now you’re gone
And we just wonder why
Why did you let yourself go
Why did you think it was a good idea
Why didn’t you let us try
Why in the hell did you have to die

I taste burnt rubber and engine grease
I feel this deep burning sting that won't cease
I smell old glue mixed with butterscotch
I look down again to check my watch

I don't feel sick thinking of you
I no longer feel hurt
I am just ruined over you
So again I clasp my shirt

It's not that I don't taste anymore
I just taste waste and no more
It's not that I feel like I could die
Rather I can't stand to be alive

It's not that my heart is still broken over you
It's just been repaired with very weak glue
It's not that my heart beats for no other
It's just forced to beat for no one at all

I'm not sick
Not hurt
Just ruined over you
And I've no idea what to do.

I thought that I was over you
I thought that I was better
I thought I had forgotten you
And finished these stupid letters
I used to dream of seeing you
It used to drive me mad
But now I hate missing you
And the thought of you just makes me sad

I really thought I’d moved on
Until I saw your face
I thought my love for you was gone
‘Till you walked by me with grace.
These feelings I can’t contain
This pain I wish would cease
From your touch, I must refrain
Or contain my heart at least

It hurts more than any pain
To know we’ll never be
But I’d rather stand in the freezing rain
Then have you again with me
This feeling I hope won’t last
This pain I can barely stand
This one memory from my past
But I’ve got to be a man

This burning pain deep within.
Eats away and burns my core.
Makes me cling close to my kin.
But pain is held through strong doors.

The truth is known to only one.
But the rest suspect it is the cause.
And although I still have fun.
This pain just grows and burns and gnaws.

How could one cause such a change
That single mind, her kind, soft touch.
Without which I feel only pain.
This one girl, I miss too much.

This wish to be with her once more
Is the most foolish of all my hopes
At times, I want to knock on her door
But most days I just try and cope.

I have no real purpose to this pain
Except to remind me of my mistakes.
It makes me not care for the cold and rain.
Or the taste of delicious steaks.

There is no joy now, only distraction
Even if I forget it only lasts an instant
I have no will to take any action
And everyday my love is ever more distant.

It doesn’t matter if I die
It won’t matter if you cry
How my body looks to your eyes
Won’t ever matter to the flies

Every drop of pouring rain
Should be enough to soothe your pain
For I am more than muscles, and cells
More than my words and little tells

I am a part of the universe
A piece of the sky and of the earth
I am the rain falling from above
The soft feathers of a flying dove

I am the morning sun
And all the children having fun
It doesn’t matter if I die
For death is just a painful lie

I will live again and again
In the lungs of children, and the veins of men
I will move from host to host
Like a silent passing ghost

I will live to the end of time
Though my face, my may no longer be mine