If you are my heroine, he is my family
Begging me to stop
“You are better than this”
“You deserve so much more”
“I can love you better”
I see the truth in his words but you are my heroine.
I can not stop
I will shoot you up every chance I get
Reason will not penetrate these walls
You are my heroine
I will overdose on you with bittersweet pleasure

And I thought I was so strong. That I was better now. That I could indulge myself. That coming to see you wouldn’t set me back. But here I am drowning my wits in alcohol and my heart in you. Always it’s you and my tears fall as wet as they always have.....

You can try to stay away from me
    And me from you
But it is like trying to hold the ocean back from the shore
Eventually you will come crashing into me
I will be covered in you and I am afraid this is how it will always be
Me
Drowning
In you......

Do not give me someone with an unbroken heart
Give me someone who has felt the shadows
Let me be the one who fills the cracks with sunlight
Let me remind them what it feels like to be loved

Oh beautiful boy,
You shatter sweet girls so elegantly

An exquisite dance of take and take

Lift her up
Spin her around
Make her believe she can fly

When she opens her eyes she will be surprised to find herself on an empty stage

Light pours out of you in waterfalls
You are dripping with it
Leaving puddles of brilliance in your wake
Most people are blinded by it
But I am drawn to the light
Like a moth to a flame

I am an artist and words are my medium. I can write you any feeling you please. The feelings are splattered all over me like paint. You can’t see, but I’m covered in them. If you prefer, I can speak you a masterpiece instead? Like a sculptor I can twist words into whatever lie you’d like to buy.....

You all say such nice things to me
Such pretty empty words
Paint me beautiful with compliments
But underneath all the colors run together
And it’s just a mess
Keep your sweet words
Give me something real
I am drowning and you are throwing flower petals at me

And when I met you
       I had no idea
That all the seemingly small moments
Would collect like raindrops in a storm

        I didn’t event stand a chance

Swept away

         But ,oh, the ride was beautiful

It was not my intention to let you become important to me. If I was paying attention you would be dust in the wind, but you caught me unaware and now I want you to stay

I fell in love
        On Tuesday
               Then you laughed
                        at my mistake
                                 On Thursday

The night brings a heaviness I can’t escape.

               As the sun goes down

                the demons come up
    Please sleep get to me before they do....

The morning spills
    over you
             You look so peaceful
         in its light
                     I wish I could let you
                          stay like this
                                     In the light
                          you are beautiful
                                        with the early sun
                                dancing across your
                                                sleepy smile

Love is not the beautiful
                 fairytale I was told
It is crazy highs and lows
                  that leave me dizzy and sick
I am laughing and crying
                   and on my knees
It fills me and empties me completely
                   and I am so tired

Then suddenly the storm ended
  
The chaos was over

The sun came out and shed it’s light on all the wreckage

It made the tears running down my cheeks sparkle like diamonds

I pick up a pen like some pick up a razor blade.
I pull the pen across paper and watch my emotions spread liquid and black across a sea of delicate white.
I can’t pick which ones I’m feeling.
I do not have that talent.
It’s all or nothing and it’s crippling.
For me it’s not a hobby.
It’s a compulsion, a release.
You are reading my self inflicted scars and calling it art.

Build me castles made of empty promises
like everyone else and I will use your lies like bricks to build walls

I’d rather you throw words at me like rocks than use your tongue to forge chains