no one is me
do you miss me
maybe you miss me
i hope you miss me so much
that is feels like your
esophagus is ripped out
when i say your name *
dont worry i wont say your name
i say it enough in my head
i hear it enough from my friends
but dont worry im not tired of it
one day i will finally
have the ovaries
to say all of this
but until then
maybe youll find
my hello poetry account.

its getting kind of sad
cuddling with Eloise
the stuffed elephant you gave me
for my 15th birthday
i mean i love her a lot
but shes not you
no one is you

i love you so much
just as a friend too as a person
you used to love me so much
how could you have possibly
just turned it off
will you please tell me how
i havent been able to
and im tired of loving you
and not being loved back
dont you understand
thats all ive ever wanted
thats all i want
just please love me back

and you take pleasure it seems
in ripping my esophagus out
because some nights
you act like were best friends again
andihopesosomuchwewillbe
and some nights
you wont even answer me
and it hurts so much
ive been trying not to cry anymore
but it hurts so much
and im so confused
just be honest with me
please

your ex girlfriend is actually lovely
and i should have been
angry at you not her
im not angry at her at all
do you know what she did
she texted me one thursday night
do you know what she said
she said sorry
she said this is so long overdue
she said i really really hope
we can be friends
do you know what i did
i let go that thursday night
do you know what i said
i said im sorry too
i said its okay
i said i would really really love
to be friends
do you know what you never did
you never spoke to me first
do you know what you never said
you never said i know i hurt you but you hurt me too
you never said can we talk about it
you never said i really really think
we can be friends
so i dont even know if we are
or if ive suddenly become
an optimist

sure you said sorry
i even think you meant it
i know you meant it
but you dont act sorry

and this so long overdue
but im making up for it now
oh im making up for it
and you be ready do you know why
you be ready because
im not doing it anymore
im not being polite
im not giving you the benefit of the doubt
without telling me the real reason
why you lied
why you ignored me
why you messed with me
why you are
still doing it