You say I hate you
I rebuttal that I don't
But the cycles the same
A never ending wheel turns
I want to be honest with my feelings
But you make it so hard
I try my best I swear to God
You say I'm showing my true colors lately
Which I'm often not
If I were to spill all my colors then there's no surprise
You text me and strike up a conversation
And I always wonder how well this one will go
Often we bicker and you mistake this for hate
But it's me really trying to hide behind a facade I create
Cause when I feel
I feel it so deep
It keeps me on the edge of my seat wondering what's your next move what's my next move
only time could tell
until then I'll create my own little personal hell

I'm thinking
Maybe too hard
I'm thinking clearly
With sound mind and body
I'm not talking to myself
It's just my concious catching up
I'm thinking
Clearly and unbounded with restrictions
My thoughts chase me when its silent
I prefer to not be left alone with them
No I'm not crazy
I'm just thinking
Wondering about the world
Catch this I'm thinking
The gears turn in my head
My mind playing tricks on me is a normal occurrence
I'm thinking
Maybe too hard that it hurts my head sometimes
But I'm thinking clearly
It doesn't make sense to me
Not at all
Your actions and my actions make no sense
Maybe I'll just stop thinking

I wonder do you feel my gaze?
Do you notice my presence when I'm near? Do you even notice that I'm there?
I feel that you do
but I feel like you're scared
of what I'm not sure
maybe there's some history there
Maybe I can calm your soul with some soothing words
some passing gestures
little fancies that can grab your attention towards my advances
You're scared
I'm scared
It's a continuous cycle of cat and mouse and I'm not sure if I'll ever catch you