Drunken and sunken was I
Drowning in pity and sadness
And time didn't fly
Everything was madness
Stuck in pitch blackness
I couldn't see
Until I chose me
Baby steps I'm taking
It's me I'm facing

Where's my lantern?
The sun is gone and I can't see
Where's home from here?
No coordinates when everything's black
Lost in the black sea
Lost in the black deep
When I can't see
It hurts
It hurts so bad
And nobody seems to understand
So ill hurt
And hurt some more
And ill quietly wail
And inside ill weep
When I feel weak
Lost in the black deep
Where's my lantern?
So I can see..

No light inside of me
It flickers...it flickers
Running on fumes
Livin on fumes
Heart beats on fumes
I've lost my tune
The floor isn't under my feet
Falling in the black deep
Lost in the black deep
Silently I will weep
And I quietly scream
Coz nobody cares or understands
Always comparing their pain to mine
Its not so bad they say
As the floor disappears from under my feet
And I slowly fall
As I quietly weep
And Silently scream
Stuck in the black deep

Hi friends

Im so glad to see all of you still writing..i took a long break from posting my poems. I have alot still in my note pad. I have been battling depression for a year or more give or take a few months. But now that i recognize it and know the problem and have cut the problem out I will be better soon. And that means I will be able to reconnect with my soul tribe.

I gave you my heart and you said that I was amazing..
You said that you loved it
Now I'd by give you my heart if your looking for love
But you would never take it again
Because you returned it
Now i stay up too late
Drinkin, smokin...poisonin myself
Because I'm afraid you've found love
Weather it's a stranger or the one you belong to
Oh how i miss every word you said
But its only what you said..
How i wish it was what you did
Instead of pushing me out
I wish you didn't push me out
Waiting for the day I can think of you with no frown...
With no frown on my face

Missing
Everyone is missing something..a key, a sock, plastic ware..
Missing someone
Or they way someone used to stare
Unbearable it is mostly
But sometimes its not as hard
I guess that means that soon it wont be hard at all
Or it means I allowed us to fall
Either way I long for the day that I dont miss you at all

Throughout the day and late at night you lurk inside my home
Today you knocked and I said ill be right there
Unknown souls living in the cold
You asked me if Id make a sacrifice
You asked me to share my mind
I said that I would follow the tide
Now I ponder if Ive..have I lost my mind
You are the devil
I cant make that sacrifice
Bittetsweet embrace of death
But i still got more left
There is still more time
You are the devil
I gotta find a better way to spend my time

Ill always ask you..how are you. How was your day?
Ill always want you..i hope thats ok.
I really want to tell you what I want to say.
But sometimes you dont listen..because of your day.
Here I am
Promise Ill stay
As long as you hold me tight
When I have a bad day

He is patience
He is not loud
He sways away from the crowd
When he speaks i always listen
His hand in mine
Can i go back in time
To feel his hand..so warm in mine
When he smiles
It touches my soul
And i see glitter everywhere
Then we were laying in the dark
When he took my heart out and held it so close to his
And called me beautiful
He said im beautiful
Walk next to me..
Ill give you what you need
And i know it wont get better than this
There will never be another close to this
Ill always remember the fireworks and sunlight
Ohh take me back to that first kiss

I built a wall of ice arround my heart.
So solid, so strong i was sure it wouldn't crumble.
Then sun king came along
Melting the ice with his warmth
Slowly but rapid
The fire breaks the ice
It couldn't even fight
The warm feels nice


-Jennifer DeAngelo
Copyright 2017

I want to write a poem of love
A poem about two destined souls
Finding their fate and united as one
Something so beautiful to bring a tear
To the most unloving eye
So magnificent it makes you cry
A poem of butterflies
And exotic beaches
With sands of gold..
Waters of rubies
Words of pure love
But there's nothing but crumbled papers
Callused fingers
Scribbled lines
And its because I do not know love
I haven't even begun to crawl

-Jennifer DeAngelo
Copyright 2017

Are some days lonely?
Or is it just me?
Most nights I am lonely..
Its just my thoughts and me.
Do you like it when i ask you how was your day?
Do you want me to notice if you had a bad day?
Sometimes we are different..
Others we are the same.
Friends can be scary
Or is it just me?
I've seen how tight we could be
When its only you and me..

-Jennifer DeAngelo
Copyright 2017

I am queen of moon
Decider of darker nights
Defender of fireflys in the moonlight
Fighter of wrong and right

He is ruler of fire and ice
Warmer of frozen nights
Giver of precise
Cooling the fire
But only if need be
Just enough to let her see

Watchers of moon, night, fire, ice
Manifesting in words
Triumphing in intellect
Wanters of the next
Without the moon there is still night
With no fire no need for ice

Together there is balance
Combination of galaxies
Creating moon
To live in night
Making fire
To melt ice

In the all arround
Whispers are in the air
Quiet words of precise
Humming whats wrong and right



-Jennifer DeAngelo
Copyright 2017

Wiltted flowers are not ugly
For they have lived fully
Bathing in the sun
Nourished by water
Until one is overwhelmed
Too much or not enough
Is never good for us


-Jennifer DeAngelo
Copyright 2017

I shall only desire thou
When the presence of thine auora
Is candied, honeyed, and sweet
Sweet enough to deny my solitude
And desire thee*

-Jennifer DeAngelo
Copyright 2017

Today I kept myself busy
Today I took care of things
Because I didn't want to ponder on what tomorrow brings
My mind is and ocean
My skin is the beach
Thoughts caught in a maze
In a maze with no end
Dreaming of sweet release
Cowardly...
Perhaps
Put on my shoes
And forget about you
I mean take a walk on my road
And maybe then you will know
The thought of no pain
I just want to ride the waves
I  mean I want to give them my pain
So it can depliciate
Intertwined with the waves forever
To not feel
That's the real deal

-Jennifer DeAngelo
Copyright 2017

Write after write
Scribble after Scribble
Stuck in my thoughts
My words are stuck
I just can write them down
Cramps in my hands
Callus on my finger
Words ran away
Left my thoughts to linger
I want to write a beautiful goodbye
But all i have to say is
I miss you
And why


-Jennifer DeAngelo
Copyright 2017

Write after write
Scribble after Scribble
Stuck in my thoughts
My words are stuck
I just can write them down
Cramps in my hands
Callus on my finger
Words ran away
Left my thoughts to linger
I want to write a beautiful goodbye
But all i have to say is
I miss you
And why


-Jennifer DeAngelo
Copyright 2017

Write after write
Scribble after Scribble
Stuck in my thoughts
My words are stuck
I just can write them down
Cramps in my hands
Callus on my finger
Words ran away
Left my thoughts to linger
I want to write a beautiful goodbye
But all i have to say is
I miss you
And why


-Jennifer DeAngelo
Copyright 2017

Sometimes..
The most BEAUTIFUL people
Are NOT usually the ones who catch your eye
They are the ones who keep you awake
Not on purpose
Hours of conversation
STILL having questions
CONNECTING to their psyche
Yearning for the stars to ALIGN
Ohh the things I could show you..
If you were MINES

She used to think she needed a man
She needed a man to cater
She used to believe in no goodbyes
But I'll see you later
She wanted to connect with everyone she'd met
Without even knowing them yet
She couldn't be alone
Because she yearned for someone to call her home
Every time she was lied to
There was one person she could cry to
And one day she realized
She finally oped her pretty brown eyes
Standing tall holding her hand
Next to her was not a man
But her best friend
Her rock
Not born blood but it comes no thicker
She always had unconditional love
They stand together
Pretty as doves
She knows now she needs no man

There was a road of broken glass leading to my paradise
With every step another cut that dripped
It twists and turns up into a mountain
On the way up there were goblins, dragons, rats and snakes
In the dark I'd use my lantern
Yesterday the goblins tried to consume me
After the snake told them where I wander
I was not unprepared
Which led to their despair
Onward I walked with bloddied feet until I had to climb
The rats scurried about*
Swaying across my feet
And that led to their defeat
My hardest battle was still to come
And I was not unprepared
So I walked proudly into the dragons lair
He waited there
And used every last breath
Until there wasn't a single one left

-Jennifer DeAngelo
Copyright 2016

Crumbled papers scattered on my floor
Writing two words and replacing them with three more
Calluses on my fingers from clutching my pen
Sayin to my self tell him how and when
Writing is my thing...whats going on here
The feeling is here but the words aren't near
I want to write you the most beautiful love poem
But the problem is I don't have the words
There are none
Not one word to describe how I feel
I love you.....



-Jennifer DeAngelo
Copyright 2016

Kiss me like the way you stare at me
Then touch me like the way you kissed me
Tell me like you wont be able to say it again
Sometimes when you love and let it go...
It comes back and then you know

You look at me like im the first thing you've ever seen
You stare at me like you can't believe
Thinking of you is like christmas morning
...Butterflies fluttering inside that im not ignoring
Lying down right next to you dont want no space between us
And I want to know what you're thinking
What are you feeling? I need to know it's a must
Then I glance in the sky and I swear there is fairy dust
Glittery speckles of you and I*
Beautiful emeralds with diamonds and I just know they are floating from us
But as hard as they may try they will never shine like us
Sometimes I can't believe that you think I'm gorgeous
Touching me so gentle
Hold me tight dont let me go
I want to listen to you breathing
I want to hear if you are thinking
Tell me what you're thinking
Am I in your head if you're thinking
And if I am did I do what I was supposed to
I wanna be the one your close to
Can I be the one you walk to
I want to be your everything
I want to give you, your every need
I want your heart
*Do u trust me?

What if                                                  My path
Led me                                            Into a circle
What if                                            My journey
Took me
                                          All arround
                  And arround           round and
                    And arround              round and

                                           And arround........

What if everything                          That ever
Happend                                      Was to show
                                      Me
                         How it's supposed
                                    To be.
So I
                                          
Could continue

Onward

To where I was going

It took me back

So I could get on the right track

My journey has taught me

How to love

How to love me

And I will love you again

My journey showed me how

How to sew your wounds

And turn your pain

Into a sunset of dimpled beauty

Into a clear blue sea of  extraordinary magic

From feeling forgotten to awareness of true

You're goning to feel my love

With all of me

You will feel my love

Its time for me to fix what has been broken
For far too long

I will kiss your wonds that I blindfully caused

I will make love to your flaws

Hi friends sorry i haven't posted anything lately. I've veen busy with my studies. I need to catch up on all of your writes as well. Thanks for your patience! Xoxo

It was a dark night
When she told a story of her fight
She spoke the coldest words I've ever known
Her feet blistered from the road
Knuckles torn apart from using all her might
Shreds hung from her clothes
As her icy story was told
She drove me up and down the hills
She showed me where she defeated it
And smiled as she said now leave your fear
As I looked back at her I realized I was talking to the mirror



-Jennifer DeAngelo
Copyrighted 2016

It's the lonely nights that pry..
It's the lonely nights that lurk..
In the corridors all around.
During these nights I have visions..
You and I soaring
You and I writing...
Two masterpieces combined
Into a story that has never been told
A story of two lonely hearts...
Connected at the mind




-Jennifer DeAngelo
Copyrighted 2016

Everything I said to you
Everything I did to you*
Everything I have done for you
                        

                            *....­it was all for us


And I don't regret it
If I could I'd do it one hundred times more


             I will always love you


No matter what



-Jennifer DeAngelo
Copyrighted 2016

You remind me of a spicy wasabi mango
Just like ice cream covered in lobster shells.
                   So hard and spicy on the outside.
So soft. So sweet on your inside.
       I really want to ask you if you had a           good day.
             Longing to be the good of your day.
                                  We are not different.
         We are not the same.
    Do you ever muse on how tight we.....       could be.
               *Conceptualize a wasabi mango embrace.
         And see in your minds eye...........

it's only you and me.*



-Jennifer DeAngelo
Copyrighted 2016

Looking at the word through my window.
Feeling like I don't fit in.
People in the crowds..they are all the same.
I don't want their fads, I don't want their trends.
Holding my double XL heart out to this ugly word in my tiny hands.
Listening to my heart, ignoring my brain.
My courage has grown through my pain.
Seeing this world's beauty..lives in my veins.
I was made to be part of the change.
Cut from fabric you can't find in stores.
It must be bred.
My mind and my heart both not set up to*  make pretend.
Birds of a feather..
I make sunshine from stormy weather.
It's going to be a long journey but I...
I have visions of better.



-Jennifer DeAngelo
Copyrighted 2016

Have you ever been so upset that you choke on your own *****? R.I.P. Jamil Baskerville Jr. Peace in paradise sweet boy. Please beware if you read his story.

I do not post my writings on here for likes. and attention.
Nor is it for shares or follows.
I am not seeking the crowds who applause.
Cheering and ranting for more.
I do it to simply find and intertwine with my soul tribe.



-Jennifer DeAngelo
Copyrighted 2016

Heart racing
Feet pacing
Mind going a mile a minute
Trying to make sense of this thing I feel
Staring at my telephone
Everytime it goes off I want it to be you
So cold and so hot
I love you
Even though you love me not



-Jennifer DeAngelo
Copyrighted 2016

I am a wanter of fantasy
But I live for the true
Believer of magic
But wonder for reason
Swimming to imagination
Walking for definition
Pondering your love
Wishing it's real*


-Jennifer DeAngelo
Copyrighted 2016

I drank of you.
And savored every sip.
I want all of you.
So I can savor every bite.
When you speak.
I stop the world..
So I can listen.
And savor every sound.
I feel the vibration.
I've waited way too long for you.
I want it all.
Give me all of you.
Just the way that it is..
Please no substitutes.


-Jennifer DeAngelo
Copyrighted 2016

You put on the best academy award winning performance.
You did the most glorious act.
You wore your most beautiful costume and matching mask.
I didn't watch but I know you have had to won.
The oscar every actor longs for.
Round of applause from me.
You made me believe.
Now I love the unreal.
I long for the untrue.
I was open for you.
Have you prepared a speech?
I want to..but you're out of my reach.
I set aside grammar for you.
Not something most writers will do.
I let you know what I wanted from you.
And you never told the truth.
You came to my door just to deceive me.
And planted your vile seed.
But i dug it out.
Had to get it out of me.


-Jennifer DeAngelo
Copyrighted 2016

Hasn't anyone ever told you that you can write?
Has no one ever said write me a new write?
Sad princess of emotion.
I was in your boat too.
I was an iceberg.
I was cold.
I was grey.
And I overcame.
You will too.
I promise you.
All that you have to do is look deep inside you.
I promise it didn't leave.
Don't beg..don't plead.
I know all there is to know about hot and cold.
It's inside my soul.
Follow me I will guide you.

-Jennifer DeAngelo
Copyrighted 2016

I imagine you and I soaring through the night like flying stars do.
And I picture you taking I on a magic carpet ride.
Through your city and mines.
Into both of our beautifully dangerous minds.
Tell me your secrets..and I'll tell you mines.
Tell me I'm beautiful again.
Please no lies.
Show me your demons..and I shall reveal mine.
For they reside in my eyes.
I'll look into yours if you look into mine.
Beautiful poet until you die.
I won't tell you a lie.*



-Jennifer DeAngelo
*Copyrighted 2016