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Jun 2021 · 306
Fire In Me
Jenni Littzi Jun 2021
I was looking forward to tomorrow
Now I’m filled with so much sorrow
Bad news came and took away
The promising lookout I had from today
But that’s okay, now I just have more to say  

Suddenly, I’m ready to start a fight
I’m ready to go in, hit strong, and win
Suddenly, I know everything will be alright
My eyes have a sparkle and my face a grin
I see the finish line close by, in my sight
And I feel the fire in me, alive, deep inside  

I see an obstacle in my view
And it seems to me, that it’s you
Not cool, so here’s what we gotta do
Go face-to-face, put you on the spot
Prove why you’re nothing that’s hot

Suddenly, I’m ready to start a fight
I’m ready to go in, hit strong, and win
Suddenly, I know everything will be alright
My eyes have a sparkle and my face a grin
I see the finish line close by, in my sight
And I feel the fire in me, alive, deep inside

When I was weak, you gave me no mercy
Death’s the only way you’ll have me beat
And it is your ego on the winning streak

Suddenly, I’m ready to start a fight
I’m ready to go in, hit strong, and win
Suddenly, I know everything will be alright
My eyes have a sparkle and my face a grin
I see the finish line close by, in my sight
And I feel the fire in me, alive, deep inside
Bad day.
May 2021 · 296
Embrace (Affirmation)
Jenni Littzi May 2021
Amethyst on my wrist
Assists me to coexist
In this world, so that I  
May feel contentment
My intuition, so strong
Pendulum in chakras  
Have my Rubies in my pocket
To make sure that I sock it
Passionately deep, like its pink
I will overcome challenges
And correct imbalances
I rather make a ripple
Than stay still, crippled
And I will be alright
As I got that liquid light
From my wand of Selenite
Daily, clean away the negativity
No longer phased by others’ activities
It took a long time, but I’m good
And I see things as I should
My new ways, I embrace
I thank the Universe, always
Jenni Littzi May 2021
Why did I ever try to settle?
It’s better on my own level
Like wearing my Rose Quartz
And loving myself a lot more

The full moon has arrived,
Again, and so has my pride
My wings are finally in sight
And I am eager to take flight

My shell holds me like a cell  
But my soul burns hot like hell  
Only, it is too holy to hold back
So now we work together, respect

I wash the day away with Selenite
I feel myself letting go, starting over
Starting fresh and getting a new try
Another day, go on, I find my way

And I may be the “crazy one”
That’s fine, at least now my
Chakras are aligned; like you’re fine  
So for the haters, I have no time
Affirmations, stay positive today!
May 2021 · 191
High Vibes (Affirmation)
Jenni Littzi May 2021
Not really, completely
The person I used to be
I changed, exquisitely
And now my frequency
Vibes are set too high
So, not gonna deal with lies

If they don’t like who I am
Then, also gotta say goodbye
Like Obsidian and Tourmaline
Rid them on out of my life
I am over making things right
I just seek peace, no more fights

I wish upon the stars and time
As magic requires a touch  
I know, dare, will, and keep shush
I only tell the moon my secrets
She helps me when I’m sleepless
I pray to the universe and spirits

For the best possible outcome for all
Harmony; I feel full inside of my heart
Happy right now, but I know I’m fragile
I know just how easily I could fall apart
Fall, just a random piece, like a shard
But I will stay strong, I will hold on
(this time)
Jenni Littzi May 2021
I both cleanse myself from
Selfishness and resentment
To find peace, contentment
And I cleanse myself from
Jealousy and begrudging
Because no one has a right
To really be the one judging
I cleanse myself completely
Of what matters to me
Misrepresentation of all
Some of my life experiences
Where I happened to fall
I let go of what others think
I can’t control their views of me
So I bathe myself within
My own self-acceptance
And the enlightenment
Full of understanding
Thank you for guiding me
Universe, and your blessings
I know you choose the best path
I trust your timing, love, and craft
Affirmation Prayer.
Jenni Littzi May 2021
That part of my life is over
I shall turn over my shoulder
I surrender to my new self
As I went and found peace
I even surrender to self-love
And it is so everlasting
I commit to letting go
Of all that I cannot control
I commit to success
And stride with pride
For me, myself to impress
And achieve my goals
I promise to remember
My body is a gift of mine
Too divine to waste my time
As I align with you, Universe
I give my all, to your blessings
I pray you take care of everything
A manifestation affirmation prayer of mine this morning 😁
May 2021 · 722
Birthdays (Sad Days)
Jenni Littzi May 2021
How easy, they can forget me
Like a flower, caught in the breeze
Just there wailing away and flaking
Unsteady, like the ground shaking
It is water boiling over the edge
And me standing on a ledge
Birthdays always have me a mess
Sad days make me feel less

Another year goes by
I guess it’s true that time flies
But I still feel like I’m stuck
Inside four walls, in a rut

How easy, they can forget me
Like a flower, caught in the breeze
Just there wailing away and flaking
Unsteady, like the ground shaking
It is water boiling over the edge
And me standing on a ledge
Birthdays always have me a mess
Sad days make me feel less

Don’t feel that I have survived
Instead I feel over and over-victimized
Birthdays mean nothing more
They just cause me to be more insecure
And unsure...

How easy, they can forget me
Like a flower, caught in the breeze
Just there wailing away and flaking
Unsteady, like the ground shaking
It is water boiling over the edge
And me standing on a ledge
Birthdays always have me a mess
Sad days make me feel less
I wrote this on my birthday in 2019, it must have been depressing! lol
Apr 2021 · 141
Fantasies (Prelude)
Jenni Littzi Apr 2021
My life is built up in fantasies
Of broken dreams and fallacies
I am trying to just escape reality
Me, feeling the energy that I lack
Trying to find a way to claim it back
Looking for a way to gain control
Dreaming of when my reality feels whole
As so far, it has taken its toll on my soul  
I can’t live forever inside of my fantasies
But I want to feel like I’m always dreaming
Apr 2021 · 330
On My Feet
Jenni Littzi Apr 2021
Crazy a tad, many messes I’ve had
Like the moon, always in a phase
I go through life dreaming in a daze
All of the crisis, but still sure feisty
I always get back up on my feet
I’m not going to accept defeat
After all, I’m broken but not beat
Another round, feet on the ground
My brain surgery did not go well, sadly.
Mar 2021 · 149
Sanity (Politics)
Jenni Littzi Mar 2021
I’m always walking a thin line of my sanity
Wondering what’s going to cause volcanity
Starting up the profanity, a mess of humanity
Everyone caught up in their mundanity and vanity
It’s all insanity, as they uttered inanities
The mess is immanity, we need urbanity
Mar 2021 · 181
Silent
Jenni Littzi Mar 2021
I won’t be silent anymore
I won’t take the BS one more time
I am still the same sweetheart inside
But, I will say what is on my mind
Because I was once told,
“If you stand for nothing, you will fall for anything”
From a patient of mine and a good remind
It’s hanging on my wall, now I understand
I now demand nothing but respect for myself
And I know where I stand, I won’t be silent ever again
I am who I am, but not who you say I am
Mar 2021 · 151
Rainbow’s Lullaby
Jenni Littzi Mar 2021
Nanni is a goat
That I know
And I love
Her so

Rainy is a goat
That I know
And I love
Her so

Nanni is a goat
That I know
And I love
Her so
Rainbow is my Shih Tzu puppy and this is her song. She has lips “like a baby nanni goat” which is one of her nicknames, along with Rainy.
Mar 2021 · 165
Be Like the Butterfly
Jenni Littzi Mar 2021
Be like the butterfly
Let go of the past,
Free yourself from your cocoon
And embrace change,
Because it can be beautiful
My writings are short lately.  I need brain surgery, in two weeks. I hope that helps my focus.
Mar 2021 · 127
Seduce Me Right
Jenni Littzi Mar 2021
Engage me with your mind
****** me with your actions
Give me a portion of your time
Make up for what you’re lacking
Capture me with all your ideas
My needs, you should be hacking
Comfort me through my fears
Don’t dare ever leave me in tears
Later, take your time, do it right
Make sure that I’m screaming
Your name all through the night
Leave me yearning for more
Don’t let me down or bore
Show me what you mean
And tell what what I need
Jenni Littzi Mar 2021
My biggest mistake, was not seeing how you’re fake  
Believing blindly to every word, looking back it’s absurd
I poured everything into you, thinking it was the right thing to do
You can’t treat people the way you choose to
Like actions have no consequences to you
Using others for a season, until a better reason
Comes to you’re liking, so I’m done fighting
This time it is really goodbye and I’m too angry too cry
I’ll walk away relieved and “let it go” like my Queen
I know what I’ve seen, my eyes are open to you now, I’m keen
Mar 2021 · 142
Change (So Bittersweet)
Jenni Littzi Mar 2021
Change, how it is so bittersweet
It can be as beautiful as the fall leaves
Bringing you calm and inner peace
Or it can be as cruel as lies and deceit  
Bringing you to your knees in defeat
I might add to this, too, I feel I’m just being lazy - it’s a phase.
Mar 2021 · 178
Unbecoming
Jenni Littzi Mar 2021
Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything - maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place - Anonymous

Maybe it’s not about the butterfly becoming the butterfly. Maybe it’s about the butterfly unbecoming the caterpillar. 🐛 🦋 - Jenni Littzi
Mar 2021 · 121
The Performance (Interlude)
Jenni Littzi Mar 2021
Congratulations, you nearly were my demise
Round of applause, I bought your good-person disguise (the whole **** time)
Close the curtain, the show has come to an end
Hand the boutique over, you’ve certainly earned them
And now a calm has come and I’m all gone
Who knew it was an act all along? Award-deservant
An era concluded, you put on quite the performance
I may add to this.
Mar 2021 · 122
Wasn’t Me
Jenni Littzi Mar 2021
I always thought it’d be forever
I doubted our bond, would never
Be holding on by a string, unraveling
But you chose and it wasn’t me

And I’m not trying to be catty
Its just that I proclaim, seriously
I mean, she’s not even that pretty
But you chose and it wasn’t me

So you may be all their Prince Charming’s  
But open my storybook and you’ll see
The worst type of villain, I trusted you baby
And you were supposed to be a good one but Prince Charming -
Cheated -
And he wasn’t to me
Jenni Littzi Feb 2021
Memories of my innocence
They’re scattered in the wind
Like blowing on a dandelion
I feel I have no way to win
So I should shut up and give in
I had no way to say no to them
Feb 2021 · 110
Confusion
Jenni Littzi Feb 2021
They left and I wondered and cried
Confusion, had to open my eyes
Whether they were ever true or not
Their time with me did come to a stop
Learned the void I filled was no longer in need
So they tossed me out, so selfishly
It’s left me with more confusion, though
Now wondering who will come just to go
I’m a convenience, a stepping stone
I know this, because I was informed so
Now I go about my way, cynical as hell
I guess, the confusion taught me well
Jan 2021 · 119
I Win
Jenni Littzi Jan 2021
I was in a good mood and thought you were cute
You asked for my number and I just approved
Everything was going smooth and I felt unlike I had in years
Until you disappeared ...
And I hadn’t felt like that in a long time either, I fear

Inside my mind, I was finally feeling alright  
Now loneliness and regret are back in sight
I knew better and this one couldn’t be true, too perfect
Anyway, who was I to even think I deserved this?
I bet him he’d be gone by now and congrats to me, looks like I win

He said all the right things
Leading up to ensure getting his way
Until, I guess, he got bored and no longer wanted to play
How come they never seem to stay?
The good things always eventually fade

Inside my mind, I was finally feeling alright  
Now loneliness and regret are back in sight
I knew better and this one couldn’t be true, too perfect
Anyway, who was I to even think I deserved this?
I bet him he’d be gone by now and congrats to me, looks like I win

I promise I will learn this time, to protect my heart and mind
Go back to my heart being lazy, what’s your favorite - I don’t care, baby
I rather be alone forever and look crazy

Inside my mind, I was finally feeling alright  
Now loneliness and regret are back in sight
I knew better and this one couldn’t be true, too perfect
Anyway, who was I to even think I deserved this?
I bet him he’d be gone by now and congrats to me, looks like I win
Sep 2020 · 126
Biggest Fool
Jenni Littzi Sep 2020
If you only knew,
What I put up with for you
If you could only see,
What it all meant to me

I thought I had kept the best of all
Until you turned out to be a follower
I guess the joke is out now to laugh
Only,  I’m too exhausted from all the crap

I’m just the biggest fool
I continuously was used
(And you’re just like them now, too)
Thought it was a worthy cause
But I’m left now with an epitome to it all
I was the biggest fool there ever was
They saw me coming for miles and miles
Nobody is grateful, nah, just lost it all

The world is so crazy today
Maybe I shouldn’t be shocked
I just promise this is the last straw
I’m wiser with age, again I will never fall

I thought I had kept the best of all
Until you turned out to be a follower
I guess the joke is out now to laugh
Only, I’m too exhausted from all the crap

I’m just the biggest fool
I continuously was used
(And you’re just like them now, too)
Thought it was a worthy cause
But I’m left now with an epitome to it all
I was the biggest fool there ever was
They saw me coming for miles and miles
Nobody is grateful, nah, just lost it all

Now I promise you I’m number one
When it comes to whom matters
I’ll fight until I’ve finally won
A right to be just me and happy

I thought I had kept the best of all
Until you turned out to be a follower
I guess the joke is out now to laugh
Only, I’m too exhausted from all the crap

I’m just the biggest fool
I continuously was used
(And you’re just like them now, too)
Thought it was a worthy cause
But I’m left now with an epitome to it all
I was the biggest fool there ever was
They saw me coming for miles and miles
Nobody is grateful, nah, just lost it all
I’m honestly letting go. This is goodbye.
Jul 2020 · 144
Rainbow Bridge
Jenni Littzi Jul 2020
The most innocent pure hearts put on earth
A peaceful afterlife, it’s what they deserve
The time comes to follow Rainbow Bridge
You know how it works, but they’re missed
More than words can express at a time like this  
They are wise and strong and understand
But our senses leave and letting go, we can’t
The thought without them, you can’t stand
Wondering what you did right and wrong, especially the ending
Gave them enough love? Were you a good pet parent?
Would they feel betrayed over a new baby?
They watch over us closely, Angels in the sky
Happily wagging those tails, when we rescue another life
Not to worry, they know they can’t be replaced, but love to give their friends a safe place
A home, to do it again and dream
If they stay at Rainbow Bridge we again meet
Until then, new journeys begin, because it’s not the end
Apr 2020 · 109
Gypsy
Jenni Littzi Apr 2020
💜💎 Gypsy, a kind and courageous soul
Gives so much out, it must take its toll
Empathy, carrying her own weight
And then the weight of the world, too
Wearing many hats as mom, friend, and counselor
Patience that no degree can spur
An unique soul, you can’t hold down
No matter how some try to make her drown
Colorful and hiding many talents
She won’t show you everything, she keeps her balance
Free spirit and magic in the making
She gives much while life is taking
Caring for each individual, no matter how seemingly small
She is there to answer your call
Just a spec on others radars, but she knows
You matter, we are all equal with our own woes  
A sensitive soul, nothing but beyond cool
Gypsy, a kind and courageous jewel 💎💜
Jan 2020 · 256
Screw You
Jenni Littzi Jan 2020
I’ve always taken care of everybody
I was always put in charge of situations
I played “mommy” on every occasion
But when you’re down and out ...
They forgot

For every nice deed I’m treated like I was no longer needed
Like they don’t care because now they don’t need me there
So I’m left alone while my own troubles grow
Don’t ever expect me again to lend a helping hand
I’m now focusing on the most worthy, that’s me
I never put her first, but now she can blossom from the hurt
One day I’ll bloom brand new and say to all, ***** you

I used to be sad about losing each one of you
But I don’t cry anymore like a past life and I’m now new
I’m angry that I was clearly always used
20/20 vision looking back but I’ll pretend we never met
No more feelings left in me much longer to show and shed
I forget...

For every nice deed I’m treated like I was no longer needed
Like they don’t care because now they don’t need me there
So I’m left alone while my own troubles grow
Don’t ever expect me again to lend a helping hand
I’m now focusing on the most worthy, that’s me
I never put her first, but now she can blossom from the hurt
One day I’ll bloom brand new and say to all, ***** you

***** you for taking me for granted
***** you, making me second think
And ***** your for making me care

For every nice deed I’m treated like I was no longer needed
Like they don’t care because now they don’t need me there
So I’m left alone while my own troubles grow
Don’t ever expect me again to lend a helping hand
I’m now focusing on the most worthy, that’s me
I never put her first, but now she can blossom from the hurt
One day I’ll bloom brand new and say to all, ***** you
Most personal in awhile!!!
Jan 2020 · 121
I’ll Hold On
Jenni Littzi Jan 2020
I know you’re lying when so frustrated
Still I kept trying, leaving me in desperation
Everyone says let it go, she’s still just a kid
Having a lot to learn in this great, big world
But I’ve really been through most of it
Yet, even so, with a sincere apology
You seem to just want to fight with me
I give up, after I’ve been put through hell
But I’ll never forget the version of you I knew so well
I’ll hold on to my ladybug and the memories
It’s just an ending that’s bittersweet to me
I just can’t even cry this time, I sigh
Wishing for the best, but nothing I can do
Maybe we’ll rekindle, maybe we’ll become strangers
Like we never knew, I must accept the truth
Jan 2020 · 125
Memories (Interlude)
Jenni Littzi Jan 2020
The waves crash and the children laugh
Yet all you can hear is your inner fear
You hold on tightly to your past
You apologize, it just couldn’t last
And you can’t let go of how things are
Compared to how your memory sparks

Gasping and drowned by memories
That are taking you under real deep
On my knees, pleading for a case of
Amnesia so I can no longer overthink
Please free me from the past memories
I can’t live there anymore, I need freed
Jan 2020 · 2.1k
Little Fairy
Jenni Littzi Jan 2020
You try to flutter and realize you’re broken
From what you’ve gone through, the unspoken
Vivid, scary dreams seem like old memories
And you don’t know what truth to follow

Little fairy don’t you know you can’t get far
On hopes and dreams and wishing on a star
Your tattered wings can’t handle those things
Oh, little fairy stop daring the world to be uncaring
Little fairy know who is riding beside as you get by
You’d be surprised who isn’t on your side

Dressed in blue like your mood, it suits you
Damaged and swearing never, ever again
Will you go out of your way like you used to
Knowing not one soul is there in the end

Little fairy don’t you know you can’t get far
On hopes and dreams and wishing on a star
Your tattered wings can’t handle those things
Oh, little fairy stop daring the world to be uncaring
Little fairy know who is riding beside as you get by
You’d be surprised who isn’t on your side

Bandaids can’t keep it all in anymore
Shout it out, they say the truth will set you free

Little fairy don’t you know you can’t get far
On hopes and dreams and wishing on a star
Your tattered wings can’t handle those things
Oh, little fairy stop daring the world to be uncaring
Little fairy know who is Riding beside as you get by
You’d be surprised who isn’t on your side
Nov 2019 · 175
Ignored
Jenni Littzi Nov 2019
Are  you gonna ignore me, for how long?

Being ghosted breaks my heart
I know a truth is a pill hard to swallow
Never should have said anything
But a misunderstanding started

And just because him and I
Don’t  see eye to eye on one thing in life
Didn’t mean you had to take sides
Disagreements are quite alright

What happen to fixing up you hair?
You were so passionate about makeup
No, you didn’t need it, but is was fun
So where have those things gone?

Does this really mean that 10 plus years
You suddenly can’t hear what you don’t
Wanna here, like the others I’ve know
Is that time worth throwing away?  

What did he say, I do wonder?
Did you laugh, agree, or pass it off
I’m sure it wasn’t nice at all
But I’m the one paying, feeling small

Are you going to ignore me, for how long?
Nov 2019 · 171
Mountain
Jenni Littzi Nov 2019
If the mountain seem too big today
Then find a hill instead
If the morning brings you sadness
Then it’s okay to stay in bed
If the day ahead weighs heavy
And your plans feel like a curse

There’s no shame in rearranging
Don’t make yourself feel worse
If a shower stings like needles
And a bath feels like you’ll drown
If you haven’t washed your hair for days
Don’t throw away your crown

A day is not a life time
A rest is not  defeat
Don’t think of it as failure  
But a quiet, peace retreat
It’s okay to take a moment
With a fractured, fragile mind

The world will not stop twirling
As you anxiously get realigned
The mountain will still be there
When you want to try again
You can climb it in your own time
Just learn to love yourself until then
Nov 2019 · 149
No Fairytales
Jenni Littzi Nov 2019
I never opted to be a princess
I never believed in fairytales
I know that life can be a mess
I know that life can bring fails

I can’t use a fairy godmother
To fix up a few things for me
Yeah, I’m wise enough to know
Nothing around is in my control

I don’t need saving here
So turn around your horse
I don’t need a castle to live in
So forget going that course

You be the Beast, I be the Beauty
But that’s as far as we take it
No glass slipper will find your mate
A mystery to believe in is fate

So don’t go slaying any dragon
I’m not lying here asleep
Waiting for your magic
No dwarfs within my keep

No magic to make it better
No, I’m not Miss Cinderella
And my heart is already froze
The Snow Queen has no control
Nov 2019 · 167
Low Key
Jenni Littzi Nov 2019
You always liked to say I’m crazy
But you should know that, baby
I was only ever acting up
Because you would make me

I’m going to be just fine, alright
I just want something low key
Honesty, trustworthy, and right
I just need more patience to see
That low key, hospitality is what I need

Your love as sort of an illusion
Had me caught up in confusion
It was all too good to be true
How did I miss that was the truth

I’m going to be just fine, alright
I just want something low key
Honesty, trustworthy, and right
I just need more patience to see
That low key, hospitality is what I need

It was always me that was the problem
But riding you seemed to solve them

I’m going to be just fine, alright
I just want something low key
Honesty, trustworthy, and right
I just need more patience to see
That low key, hospitality is what I need
Nov 2019 · 1.8k
Closure
Jenni Littzi Nov 2019
Broken-hearted, perfectly is started
I tripped and fell and got lost in a spell
Went down hard and I’m in so deep
That is why I scraped up my knee

I’ll give you my best, if you’d just let
Me have my sincere apology already
Because it doesn’t take psychology
To know that I need closure here
So far, you left me so insecure
And fighting off old and new fears
So won’t you give me what I need
Hand over my closure to me

I still crave your kiss, your touch, your love
But I’m trying to accept you had enough
While walking around, living like I’m tough
Now I must see that it’s over and done

I’ll give you my best, if you’d just let
Me have my sincere apology already
Because it doesn’t take psychology
To know that I need closure here
So far, you left me so insecure
And fighting off old and new fears
So won’t you give me what I need
Hand over my closure to me

This is my simple request
After you made me a mess

I’ll give you my best, if you’d just let
Me have my sincere apology already
Because it doesn’t take psychology
To know that I need closure here
So far, you left me so insecure
And fighting off old and new fears
So won’t you give me what I need
Hand over my closure to me
Nov 2019 · 148
Invisible (Interlude)
Jenni Littzi Nov 2019
My heart is broken
By this latest misfortune
I’m screaming my lungs out
But you can’t hear my shouts
This time it was all your choice
So of course it hurts the most
Hope it’s a short phase, I don’t know
It feels permanent right now, though
I feel paranoid, like there’s a conspiracy
I don’t know what, something against me
But every advisor states, all I can do is wait
I just hope that day, you’re not too scraped
The very one I couldn’t lose was you
And you gave in seemingly soon
Leaving me to be the invisible one
Even after all we’ve been through and done
Nov 2019 · 152
Emotions
Jenni Littzi Nov 2019
Just a sweet and fragile girl
Trying to figure out the world
Riddled with fear and anxiety
Learning who one should be

How did life become such a mess?
I disgress, now I  feel emotional less
I usually care way too much, too fast
But something changed since the past
I am robotic, so not the norm for me
I live on, now become, less emotionally

I have cried a trillion times in life
But it seems I have finally run dry
I have given away so much of me
That there’s nothing left to see

How did life become such a mess?
I disgress, now I  feel emotional less
I usually care way too much, too fast
But something changed since the past
I am robotic, so not the norm for me
I live on, now become, less emotionally

They say that life is karmic
But I haven’t been so charmin’

How did life become such a mess?
I disgress, now I  feel emotional less
I usually care way too much, too fast
But something changed since the past
I am robotic, so not the norm for me
I live on, now become, less emotionally
Oct 2019 · 185
Drowning in Sorrow
Jenni Littzi Oct 2019
I just want to be magical
Have the power to change it all
Something sensational
That no one could imagine so

I believe, my heart is weak
Feel the strength leaving me
Dark clouds gather in the sky
I need to learn how to get by
The pictures in my mind
That make up my life
They aren’t at all very nice
I’m drowning in sorrow tonight

You can’t put me back together
On my own, I have to weather
How to make my own self better
Surely the pain can’t last forever

I believe, my heart is weak
Feel the strength leaving me
Dark clouds gather in the sky
I need to learn how to get by
The pictures in my mind
That make up my life
They aren’t at all very nice
I’m drowning in sorrow tonight

One day timing will be on our side
Things will finally line up just right

I believe, my heart is weak
Feel the strength leaving me
Dark clouds gather in the sky
I need to learn how to get by
The pictures in my mind
That make up my life
They aren’t at all very nice
I’m drowning in sorrow tonight
Oct 2019 · 175
The Devil
Jenni Littzi Oct 2019
The devil is in control of my life
I just can’t seem to get it right
Just when I think I see the light
I am thrown back to another fight

I feel defeated and beaten
I wanted better, I do mean it
I must realize it’s out of my hands
It is up to higher above’s plan
To save me from the devil’s land
I need to accept what I can’t change
Fine a way to live with the deranged
The devil took my life away,  I’m not the same

I feel misery, just about constantly
Sometimes it is hard to breathe
I need the real me to be let free
Because surely, she is just buried

I feel defeated and beaten
I wanted better, I do mean it
I must realize it’s out of my hands
It is up to higher above’s plan
To save me from the devil’s land
I need to accept what I can’t change
Fine a way to live with the deranged
The devil took my life away,  I’m not the same

When asked how I’m doing,  I hide
Back the tears I have already cried
Can’t explain it to a soul, so why try
Kicked in the gut, left in the dirt
Pain is too much to have endured

I feel defeated and beaten
I wanted better, I do mean it
I must realize it’s out of my hands
It is up to higher above’s plan
To save me from the devil’s land
I need to accept what I can’t change
Fine a way to live with the deranged
The devil took my life away,  I’m not the same
Oct 2019 · 2.7k
Probability (Is Me)
Jenni Littzi Oct 2019
I feel that I can not breathe
I’m in it now, way too deep
Life has been taking over me
Can’t even find words to speak

Whatever it is I have done
I regret to what it had to come
I always tried to do the right things
But every time it blew up in my face
Math sets up the equations to see
The highest probability is that it’s me
I mean, what else could it possibly be?
In the end it was me always replaced
They get to go on, while I’m a basket case
So alone and isolated is my place to stay

Said you’d always be there
But now I’m living in despair
And I don’t see you anywhere
I am seeing that you don’t care

Whatever it is I have done
I regret to what it had to come
I always tried to do the right things
But every time it blew up in my face
Math sets up the equations to see
The highest probability is that it’s me
I mean, what else could it possibly be?
In the end it was me always replaced
They get to go on, while I’m a basket case
So alone and isolated is my place to stay

And there’s no going back
To whet we used to have
There is no way forward
Life is ending, we’re at zero

Whatever it is I have done
I regret to what it had to come
I always tried to do the right things
But every time it blew up in my face
Math sets up the equations to see
The highest probability is that it’s me
I mean, what else could it possibly be?
In the end it was me always replaced
They get to go on, while I’m a basket case
So alone and isolated is my place to stay
Oct 2019 · 224
Escape (Interlude)
Jenni Littzi Oct 2019
Try to clear my mind
For the millionth time
What I really need
Is to escape reality
Get a moment of peace
So frustrated inside
That I can’t even cry
While on the blue pills
And I can’t even get high
Because it all makes me ill
There has to be a way
Please let me escape
It is hell living like this
It makes me want to quit
Pain is eating at my soul
Help me to just let go
Oct 2019 · 160
Landing (Interlude)
Jenni Littzi Oct 2019
Please, I beg of you, give me a sign
Worried about a few favorite people tonight
I hope they’ll be alright, wake up in time
I hate I can’t live other people’s lives
Just try to show them what I learned is right
To stand up and rise again the next day  
I just hope when things fall how they may
That their massively big landing will be fine
But they must learn on their own to get by
There’s nothing to do, just get through
To you -
Oct 2019 · 166
Strong Enough
Jenni Littzi Oct 2019
I always have gotten kicked down
I have always been talked about
But each time I got on back up
Proved each naysayer wrong
Showing how strong I really was

But I’m afraid that this time
I won’t win this continuous fight
My life’s been at a complete stop
For the longest period ever now
And on how, I don’t see any way out

I swear there is no hate or resentment
I watch through others what I’m missing
The love and fun in my home states sun
Living to the full, I don’t have the control
I can feel my crying, entrapped soul dying  

It must be better than feeling stuck
Am I a curse or is it just random “luck?”
I would like to keep hold of some hope
But I feel as if I’m just in someone’s joke
Am I strong enough to release the cuffs
Oct 2019 · 167
Fate
Jenni Littzi Oct 2019
I don’t talk about the pain
What would it do anyway
They all expect me to move on
This time I’m just not that strong

It feels like I’ve lived a thousand years
Without you near, but I’ll go
A thousand more, too
Until I can once again see you
Someday we will be reunited
Until then, I shall not fight it
Love takes time, they say    
So here’s til the day, I’ll trust fate

I’m alone without your presence
But I pretend nothing happened
Waiting for the truth, waiting for you
But there’s nothing anyone can do

It feels like I’ve lived a thousand years
Without you near, but I’ll go
A thousand more, too
Until I can once again see you
Someday we will be reunited
Until then, I shall not fight it
Love takes time, they say    
So here’s til the day, I’ll trust fate

Don’t fret, Whatever I did wrong
I believe I have paid my debt
Don’t let, anyone take your dreams

It feels like I’ve lived a thousand years
Without you near, but I’ll go
A thousand more, too
Until I can once again see you
Someday we will be reunited
Until then, I shall not fight it
Love takes time, they say    
So here’s til the day, I’ll trust fate
Oct 2019 · 159
Frozen
Jenni Littzi Oct 2019
I think at I’m pretty tough
I’ve been through a lot of stuff
Yet I’ve always managed to get up
But this is hitting me rough...

Sticks and stones never broke my bones
But your actions broke my inner core
Left me crying there on the floor
I loved you so, you’ll never know
As time past, we just couldn’t last
The reality is something I can’t grasp
No hand to lend, I’ll sit here frozen

Never felt this way before
Beat up, fetal on the floor
Didn't see what would occur
What I would have to endure

Sticks and stones never broke my bones
But your actions broke my inner core
Left me crying there on the floor
I loved you so, you’ll never know
As time past, we just couldn’t last
The reality is something I can’t grasp
No hand to lend, I’ll sit here frozen

It’s too late to stop, I’m  cold and distraught
A lesson was taught, but I’m worn out

Sticks and stones never broke my bones
But your actions broke my inner core
Left me crying there on the floor
I loved you so, you’ll never know
As time past, we just couldn’t last
The reality is something I can’t grasp
No hand to lend, I’ll sit here frozen
Oct 2019 · 162
Angels Cry
Jenni Littzi Oct 2019
Everything was gold and diamonds
It was like we created something from heaven
From the beginning it felt so perfect
I didn’t know something was lurking

I hear the angels cry all night
Everything with you and I was aligned
No signs prior to what we now find
I can’t forget that you were mine
Something went on in the outside
I die a little inside from this crime
I didn’t commit it but I pay the price
Weeping angels cry all of the time

You were my precious stone
In a cruel world, I wasn’t alone
It was such a great match
Couldn’t imagine it wouldn’t last

I hear the angels cry all night
Everything with you and I was aligned
No signs prior to what we now find
I can’t forget that you were mine
Something went on in the outside
I die a little inside from this crime
I didn’t commit it but I pay the price
Weeping angels cry all of the time

peace has deceased, we leave a catastrophe
The sadness takes over, it’s over

I hear the angels cry all night
Everything with you and I was aligned
No signs prior to what we now find
I can’t forget that you were mine
Something went on in the outside
I die a little inside from this crime
I didn’t commit it but I pay the price
Weeping angels cry all of the time
Oct 2019 · 144
Nothing Lasts Anymore
Jenni Littzi Oct 2019
Why do I torture myself like this?
The truth hurts so bad, I admit
Excessively, I get drawn in
Knowing that I won’t ever win

Nothing lasts anymore
They’re all just looking for a *****
Gotta show them all the door
My heart is just left feeling sore
I feel like I can’t take anymore
So I withdraw in beaten on the floor

Everything is set on replay
Every time they come my way
There are signs I don’t read
Leading me to this destiny

Nothing lasts anymore
They’re all just looking for a *****
Gotta show them all the door
My heart is just left feeling sore
I feel like I can’t take anymore
So I withdraw in beaten on the floor

I no longer want to play these games
Going to hide away ‘til there’s change

Nothing lasts anymore
They’re all just looking for a *****
Gotta show them all the door
My heart is just left feeling sore
I feel like I can’t take anymore
So I withdraw in beaten on the floor
Oct 2019 · 215
Good Girl (Interlude)
Jenni Littzi Oct 2019
Red hot lips, five inch heels
Fishnets, long blonde hair
Corsets - don’t touch!
Only made to stare
Toxic green eyes
Now lost in all she hides
It is all a big lie
Once a good girl
No longer cares
Walking with dark angels
To the devil’s lair
Thinking you’re gonna
Bring her back from there
Sep 2019 · 162
Through the Rain
Jenni Littzi Sep 2019
I’m uncertain how to move on
From all the trauma caused
I took some mighty falls
I’ve been through near It all
I regret a lot, and feeling lost

I need some strength
To make it through the rain
So please, guide my way  
Show me where to stay
Until the dark weather strays
Lightning strikes, but it’s alright
Because I’m not talking about the sky
I’m observing the look within your eyes
I’m shy, but take my hand tonight
We can do whatever you’d like

You’re catching me every time
You are a rare gem of a find
I can’t lie, just go ahead be mine
Suffered years without you near
So let us now be certainly clear

I need some strength
To make it through the rain
So please, guide my way  
Show me where to stay
Until the dark weather strays
Lightning strikes, but it’s alright
Because I’m not talking about the sky
I’m observing the look within your eyes
I’m shy, but take my hand tonight
We can do whatever you’d like

I need what you give to me
Inner strength and my peace
It is true, that’s all that I need

I need some strength
To make it through the rain
So please, guide my way  
Show me where to stay
Until the dark weather strays
Lightning strikes, but it’s alright
Because I’m not talking about the sky
I’m observing the look within your eyes
I’m shy, but take my hand tonight
We can do whatever you’d like
Sep 2019 · 695
Flower
Jenni Littzi Sep 2019
I  don’t always have all of the answers
And I must take a chance here and there
In fact, more questions may arise
Than would I could handle at a time

A flower blooms, a petal falls
The wind picks up and swirls it all
Where it ends up, is anyone’s call
That is life, you’re taking a draw

A flower is picked, used for its beauty
The prettiness fades, it’s no longer newly
We get our time to shine on this planet
Like a flower grows when it’s planted

Good times come, bad times go
It is like playing a game of tug-a-war
Wake me up before it’s time to die
Let realize what I have in life

A flower blooms, a petal falls
The wind picks up and swirls it all
Where it ends up, is anyone’s call
That is life, you’re taking a draw

A flower is picked, used for its beauty
The prettiness fades, it’s no longer newly
We get our time to shine on this planet
Like a flower grows when it’s planted

Changing seasons, changes reasons
It is the stroll of life we’re in

A flower blooms, a petal falls
The wind picks up and swirls it all
Where it ends up, is anyone’s call
That is life, you’re taking a draw

A flower is picked, used for its beauty
The prettiness fades, it’s no longer newly
We get our time to shine on this planet
Like a flower grows when it’s planted
Sep 2019 · 196
Destiny (Calls Me)
Jenni Littzi Sep 2019
Hopes and dreams, of the girl that I used to be
I hardly remember, will she come back to me?
In bittersweet September, need change like the falling leaves
Instead I just feel my tears running down my cheek
Is there anything left, have I become too weak?
Answer me please, do I still have a destiny that’s waiting?

Is there no turning back, learning you’re on the wrong path?
Tell me it’s not, “that’s that” and there’s more than the bad
I survived some harsh attacks, so out came my rathe
Maybe I cracked, but my heart always knows where it’s at
I’m learning I don’t have to take it sitting back, I can relax
My destiny to follow through with is what I have

Hopes and dreams, of the girl that I used to be
I hardly remember, will she come back to me?
In bittersweet September, need change like the falling leaves
Instead I just feel my tears running down my cheek
Is there anything left, have I become too weak?
Answer me please, do I still have a destiny that’s waiting?
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