I got a mechanism
Called coping
demons knocking
In the head
Slaughtered by alcohol
All alone
Suffering’s inevitable
This should be the note
In case someone asks
But for all I care
No one should
I am the way
The truth and the temp files
You can always empty
If it’s worth the while
Random access memories
Trying to be fun
Better of recoveries
Secondary free will sun

I am not the kind of fool
Who tells you stories of the herd
And draws the moon and stars

You've been far off the curve
And dehydrated on the shore
Flung out the usual norms.

Captivated truly
As my trivial senses got hooked
In your stable who's a custom soil
By the drenched aged farm

Inside the active land and seas
In which you came from
Abundant spills of beauty
In your smile and in your soul

By the name of the french lady
Who gave me cold teas
Under the waitress of the resto
Beside the town of the fleas

She gave me hope, another chance
Another dance in the opposite polars
We trance.

And she gave me things I look forward to, another dance inside the collared cage, we tranced.

The traction of the skids
squeaks into the floor
as your fake smile and kindness
approached me by the door

You said you deserved more
despite your unripe fruits
summoned demons
to climb the stairs for

Your self-centered tendencies
kills the amour for the day
you don't respect authority
it's about what you say

achievements are never just trophies
I almost puked about your hive
I hope I never see you again
please go home to your tribe

You see things revolving around you
as if you're the sun
you seek approval and attention
like a you're dying for one

The threshold for ******* cup
is few droplets from full
the good thing is that my tolerance
is insanely massively cool.

Cooler than your ex
I say ******* if not for obligations
or say humane way of things
catastrophic reasons

Inviting Invitation's lurking
But I'm not showing up
It's very enticing
But I reserve my spot

I'm tired of playing normal
In the company you've dwelled,
Everyone is not interesting,
Only you I want, the rest is hell

People's man it is
They say from crowds I blew.
Except on all the events,
When you have your crew.

You are the lone reason
Why my cold body is in presence
I don't care about anyone
You're the only one that has essence

I'm tired of getting along
Just to get a fraction of you
I hope we'll go out
And it's just alone of us two

Don't bring your friends
For they're only be accesories
Hinders and barricades
And additional extra-carries

Let's set the pace
Don't you tell you want it too?
I want it one on one
Shall we make this thing true?

The spark that lights up
the inner tremblings
of my brainwaves
collapsing pride and guard
happenstance
gentle awakenings.
The future’s uncertain
but are there not any?
of all the people I’ve encountered
You’re the one I want to marry.
Or is it too soon to say
what life has to throw about
I don’t understand
maybe tomorrow’s
reprimand.
Maybe I am just contemplated
Just washed up
and not cemented?
The foundations
are all swept away
by the ideas we’ve created.

This liquor held hostage in my hand
With no choice but to listen to me
Follow instructions and steps
Easy as one, two and three.

The cigar that burns my lungs
Listens to what's in my heart
Without hesitations
I am validated to the mark

The substance stays with me
Through ups and downs
Right on the spot
Relieves me from frown

Now you're asking me why
I should stop and think about
These vices kept me alive for years
Trusting my will without a doubt

Now you're telling me
That I'm a lonesome bloke
Broke and bleeding
But first let me drink this coke.

Shed me a glance
through vices you won't
***** until you savor
gravity's at fork

Idle faced question
she's stuck and bare
opened mouth before
the flick of the hair

The prudence of the acts
despise your inner motives
Cranks the rusty handles
of your inner steep core
throttles that bespoke
all the omnibuses of hope
ends with a single shyness stroke
ending the tempest
closing all the doors
burning the bridges
of unthankful and unhappy
total erasure of persona
granting peace at last
and I should have known
And be laid back careful
Whom I trusted last
******* cement cast

She’s the girl
That kept on fighting
Despite of the odds
And dimmer lightings

The one who has grown,
Hidden sadness
Behind the smiles
She is burdened.

She’s the girl who’s true
Hiding in plain sight
Shedding new light
When things are never right.

I know the temporary
And I don’t know what’s ahead
For I know I am an absorbing man
Then, off to bed.

I will never get tired
Of our looped talking.
Until you’ve bloomed into a flower
Then you will leave me hanging

I haven’t reached the farthest goals
Of mastering the inner calmness
Inside the solitude of being alone
Makes my mind wander for more

I needed other trusted channels
More than any art form I can rely on
To free my mind from excruciating slavery
From my own thoughts that I roam.

When all others get their bacon
Nobody loves you when you’re alone
I am somebody’s option
But it doesn’t make sense at all.

New decade is up for living
And all that matters is those that doesn’t
When all your friends are there
As if it they were your friends at all.

And now you’re up to ending your own
As if the end game you got nothing at all?
I’ve given too much and I am tired
From rebuilding up this faulty walls.

This pain is lingering from the inside
I can’t grasp to anything at all cost.
Mediocre moves doesn’t matter
From the intensity that was all, lost.

What it is written I will leave it all here
For ****’s sake, Tina,
Is this the end of the noises
You’ve wanted all along.

Tell me all the things you want to see
Give me spectacles and mere advices
I will listen and I’ll believe
But never, forever

I will stay for as long as you wish
I’ll provide whatever you have missed
I will listen and I’ll believe
But never, forever

Tell me stories about your life
I will force my self with empathy
I will listen and I’ll believe
But never, forever.

I’m the perfect man but you can’t see
I would waste my gas for that long trips
I’ll pencil myself until you’re free
But never, forever

Enticing insights from A to Z
Well everything’s about your fantasies
I am all in, without a doubt
But never, forever.

I’m as old as what your mind can tell
You’re a demon hiding in your shell
Contemplate me more about yourself
But never, forever.

I don’t think I need anybody anymore
Whatever the consequences
The locks are fine whoever is outside my doors.
I’ve crossed the rivers now and I’ve seen it all,
I know what I wanted
This is my direction and the shots I call.
Today I will turn on the safety
I’ve missed this feeling called “hiding”
Tonight I have capped it off,
I don’t trust anyone’s image portraying.
I’m tired of hearing hearsay
I am glad getting off the grid
Well that’s what she said
As I watch her die and bleed.

The only thing keeping me
from killing myself these days
is the thought of falling into
Disappointments and setback traps,
dimensions, I’ve etched
In my small mind, as you watched me
Flicker my mistakes
With a sleigh of majestic hand,
Round and round towards
A looped circuitry of failures,
Missed opportunities and chances,
Enchanting offers I’ve withdrawn
Tearing myself apart, wasted,
All until, the precious time -
you’ve finally laid
Your beautiful eyes on mine
And now I realized
That there’s more to life
Than being a one track mind.
And there’s always a hope
If there’s some believing,
And it’s so much better
To have the same different kind.

I once had one
of the happiest nights
Recurring dreams
of justified universe
Fights I had
with my own mind
Getting the victor
In my own terms
Rigged the realities
Without harm
Imagining possibilities
Redefining norms
Of what could be
A dementia
And a spur of
honest moments
Demystifying hopes
And relations
Imagine, imaginations.

Free as a bird,
promises marked thy word.
Limitations are switched off,
bounds that were never heard.

If you would just focus,
lenses fixed on a one-shot mind.
I wish you have the decision,
truth can never be blind.

Evaded realities,
reluctant and hidden feelings.
brings joy to the horizon
of jittery nerve endings.

Options are in front of you,
choosing should be easy.
when you're a mere shadow,
past is not necessary.

Choose me if you will
As you've picked the real.
I don't want no sharing
unless you're not completely healed.

Disbeliefs on dogmas
We ride south to pretend,
De-bliss your assumptions
On the ladders we ascend,
Climbing and huffing
We puff our lungs out,
Soldering the bonds
Through malts and stout.
Losing awareness
Baiting but not biting
Whimpers of warm wind
Shivers our feelings
Meeting on outskirts
Trusting guts and instincts
Wavering the solidarity
Of rights and critics
Hovering towards luck
On things we avoid
On things we never spoke of
Illegal and unspoken
Unclear and jokingly rotten
Candid thoughts
You ought to forget
Split second
When eyes are wet
Caressing my mind
As you are all set,
Future scoping
Towards my own death.

I can still remember
When availability light was faked
You got all your stories
While browsing the lake

Of photos and images
Never a minute you’ve never checked
Advisory pills scheduled
Daily you cannot take

You’ve never put a single
Cent of appreciation you receive
All you were was a blind shamman
All he have to do is leave.

The misfits were the scene
The scene of the misunderstood
It’s where you’ve invested time
It’s where you depend your mood

And all he have to do is leave,
That kid who blew you away
What more can I say
You’ve earned all the prices to pay

And all he have to do is leave
The impression was saved to your brain
Despite of the ill advised belief
You took all the pain.

And all he have to do is leave,
After all the time spent and given
He’d took the easy way out
And odds aren’t just even

Eleven, all I see was tears
From undeserving creature, deceived
You had your time being fooled
And all he have to do is leave.

Transcended filters
Converted to humming and whispers
On a violet sunset kind of evening
All those bagged lifters

Indecisions you ought
Not to drop and decide
Not to hit the road
Less traveled and abide

You take the kinder approach
No shortcuts or take overs,
Patience in your ammunition
Never taking chances ever.

Doing the bad thing,
Is this the real life you’ve wanted
And you’re young enough to **** this ****
But old enough to take things for granted.

Baby you’re one of a kind
And I’ll be straightforward
I dreamt about your face
Last night in a courtyard

Free spirits in a haze
Dandelions in your main photo;
Harassing my inner faith
Like I won the lotto.

Like I’ve mastered my art
Like I’ve recovered from hardships;
I worship your beauty
Secretly in public.

Tallying zeroes and ones
Whether your heart is open?
I don’t know baby
But mine is even.

I’m so mushy
And I dont even realize
What you’ve done to me
Is making you immortalized

Through these rhymes
Stored in the servers
Oh god, let me be
A secretful lover.

You may not get it
And I don’t say it straight
That the eyes shows it
More than I can fake.
That the heart is pounded
With a heavy mallet
Like jabs thrown at the face
Without the gloves guarded.
Without the tears
Dripping cold on my fluffy face
Withered taste buds
on the raw sashimi’s taste.
Like a dagger triggered
Or a bullet to the head
When your lover and bestfriend
Announced they’re newlyweds.
Like I can say a thousand more
Adjectives and metaphors to tell,
How it cuts like a knife.
How it burns like hell.
Like the shading light
On the stage you take flight
Please don't talk to me
When you are high.

I am floating at 2 AM
Puffing smoke
It’s such a shame
I think about you
Despite the mumblings flock
Reserved towards home
So constant in my mind
Memories intertwined
No rhymes generated
Cracked membrane
Are we the same?
Or am I just that plain
No ***** given
Zero attention span living
In my mind I need to free up
Until next year I am keeping,

Spin Cycle

Verse 1:
The tragic tales of your past
which can’t be unheard of
You pick to close your eyes
instead of choosing your path

You never really gave a clue
on what you were thinking
Unspoken words are hidden
Deliberately

Chorus:
By the time my eyes met yours
You send me shivers down my core
I never caught the words to say
Stuck in a spinning cycle

Verse 2:
The blessed curse of the times
you picked to waste with me
are all built from the lies
as you’ve told all your friends

Never wasting anything
never needy
You go buy me a souvenir
when you get here.

Repeat chorus 2x

Stuck in a spinning cycle x4

You know I am no magician
Not that kind of fool;
Who sings you lullabies,
I don’t use the victim tool.

You make my day amazing
Like the sunset from manila bay,
When I am drowned with sickness
You shone bright I should say

I have the wonder serum,
Exclusive, To heal those wounds.
To seal and recover immensely.
Your precious stolen goods.

To delete random access memories
In your complex mind storages,
Citrus beverage you don’t finish
When you rest those tired hinges.

But when time passes quickly
And we’re cornered in the elbow room,
I must be restraint,
I’ve crossed the waters like a saint.

But before we heal,
I have to carefully check.
If you are willing to give up.
The things that made you sick.