I want my book back.
I want the feelings back that you never valued in the first place.
I don't need the time & energy I devoted to you back.
I'll never forget that moment in a "hotel room" in Taipei.
I held all six feet of your frame in my arms
I told you that you were worth so much more than your fears and doubts.
I stood there physically holding you together
I believed you'd let me keep your secrets so I could love you more wholly.
I sit here literally holding myself together.
I tell myself over & over: I don't matter to you. I don't matter to you.
I hold my head high as I can, lips closed together.
I'll never remember that "Hotel room" in Taipei the same way.
I needed to be given back the equivalent time & attention.
I want the feelings back so that they may be laid at the feet of someone who cares.
and...
I want my book back.