To 10 years of loving you- I did, and still do, want to marry you, it would always hurt when you’d Ghost me. But I knew you’d always come back.
You just couldn’t let me go.
And I’m so glad you never did.
Because I couldn’t either.
You’d always find your way back to me and I’d cherish every moment. You’ve always told me you want the best for me- you’d always give me this excuse- of how you wanted me, how you’ve always wanted me and you just couldn’t. How you’re not going anywhere. How I don’t deserve the worst parts of you- how you’d rather have random two am conversations with me than to never speak to me again. And now, I talk to the sky. Like the time we went on that walk in the middle of the night- just looking at the stars. Walking, enjoying each other’s existence.
And this is beyond me, this is crazy. I’m going insane. I’m crazy for you, and I’m going insane without you. As you would say “I like ‘em crazy”
To which I’d reply.
“Am I crazy enough?”
“Just the right amount”
I keep getting these extremely vivid images of you sneaking up on me. Again and again and again.
With a ring between your teeth.
I guess a part of me believes even though you ghosted. You’re gonna come back to me again-
The way you’d speak to me, the way you’d just exist with me- Truly felt like Love..
“Feel ya feelings girl” and I really felt the love with you, and you deserve all the love I have for you.
The singing together, the Movie we never finished… again and again and again.
The way you’d mark down my cool points for falling in a rose bush.
The nights you’d just HAVE to see me and I’d climb out my window just to sit on my end and you sit on yours and we just TALK for hours.
Enjoying each other’s company- the star lit sky and the smirks and smiles.
I saw a shooting star the other day.
And all I could think about was you. It looked like a shooting star with your name on it.
You sank your teeth in me and wrote your name.
The best I can do is exhale your stardust back in to existence.
You kissed my scars. And it seems like you healed them.. I’d kiss the stars and heal you..
You made me feel beautiful…
I don’t know how much I was chasing. Cause you’d meet me half way…
I should have called you.
I’m trying to figure out how to turn back time..
And even maybe, just breathe you back to life.
Which ever comes first..
I feel like I’m dying of a broken heart..
The world is better with you in it- and it genuinely seems like my reality is crashing down in front of me before my very own eyes.. Even reality agrees with me.. it doesn’t want to exist without you either..
I Love You..