I can tell you I’m fine
When I’m not
A silent nod
Is what I use
To express my feelings
Because I don’t know what to do
Because I really like you
But I’m pretty sure you don’t like me
And that’s fine I just need to move on

It’s fascinating
I’ve figured it out
I like the way the flame looks
Sometimes I wanna touch it
Maybe I’m fire obsessed
But can you blame me?
It’s so pretty

Thunder Storms
Rain falling down
Whispers and screams
Tears falling
Hoping for better
One-sided love
Knowing
Thinking
Everyone is different
Set apart
From their skin
To their personality
Broken girls
To stupid boys
Who regret
But say nothing

Sometimes we fall
For the wrong people
But I think
That you aren't the wrong person
Because you make me smile
And I worry because I haven't talked to you
In forever

No matter how many times
I try to forget
Your Name
Your face
The things we used to talk about
The dreams for our future
The things you did
To suffocate
To hurt
To **** me
Little by little
I'm slowly
Trying
To fix
Myself
To fix the things
I hate about myself
Hate
About
You
Although
I wish you
The best
Because I did
Love you once

Thinking of growing my hair out
Reminds me of when I was back in third grade
With my cute little braids at school
I had no worry of falling in love
I could undo everything
fix myself
Although i still think id like girls
Because they smell nice
and they are there to talk too
But in all honesty
Nobodys gonna want a heartbreaker
Am I Wrong?

I’m not gonna be on for a while
It’s nobody’s fault but mine
I can’t sit here and stay calm
And pretend things are alright
She isn’t mine
And that’s fine
I’ll find someone
Who’s gonna stay by my side
Not just flirt for a bit
And then leave again

I'm Happy I have
Most of you
In my life
My best friend
And my close friend
If I can call you that
If you can call me that
I want to be more
Maybe one day I can be
But I'm happy
That you guys are sticking around

I don’t know who they are
But I hope one day she tells them
So she can be happy
Even if we end up just being friends
That’s all I could ask for

I know I shouldn’t
It’s tempting
But I shouldn’t
I can’t keep destructing
Harming myself
To feel better
Because I’m just gonna feel a lot
More lonely

Birthday wishes
And soft kisses
Small tantrums
Various lies
As I try to fight
He’s the favorite
It’s obvious
I don’t mind
Cause at least
I’m not as hateful
As she is

im sorry

im so sorry

i keep hurting people

im sorry

i still wanna be there

i dont wanna keep pushing people away

i wanna go back in time

fix all of my mistakes

or just

never exist

Isnt a place for me
I dont have a place to truly call
home
not since she did
what she did
ill be 17 in a few months
and that thought
scares me
because it feels like
it was just a few months ago that i turned 16
its...
strange

I try not to lie
Most of the time
I wanna be honest
Especially with them
Because I like them
And I know I shouldnt
But i guess I cant control
My feelings

If im being honest
Im not the prettiest
If im being honest
We have our insecurities
If im being honest
We cant pretend anymore
If im being honest
I dont want to eat
If im being honest
Things are different

She has no idea
How much she means to me
Just pretty girls
And pretty thoughts
Ana said
Not to rush
Sweet like honey
And she doesn’t even know

Maybe we can talk again
Sometime soon
Even if you’re scared
We can be friends
The pain is always gonna be worth it

~I sit here
Waiting
For a girl
Who's never gonna like me
The way I like her
Its honestly
Tragic
How hard im trying
And for you
im sorry
That im so hopelessly in love
With
You~

A house is not a home
Without the ones you hold
Sleep cascading over us
Is all we ever wanted
So we sit
And wait
For the patience of what we believe in
Sitting in a house of our own
Safe at last

It hurts that you arent mine
Once again im alone
And I cant show my feelings
Because then ill lose you

You never know how bad it hurts
Till you lose the person you thought you loved
Most

Topping cakes off with faint decorations
The smell of frosting
As we spread it along
We start to form little flowers
From the icing we had
Everyone got a piece
A sweet melody
The kids helping
And all singing

I don’t care that you might not like me
I don’t care that I’m feeling alone
I don’t care that I’m so hurt
I don’t care that I’m not enough
I don’t care he’s not gone
I don’t care that I have nobody to talk to
I don’t care that I’m scared
Of every little thing
I don’t care that I get yelled at
But saying I don’t care
Gets old
When you lie about not caring
So much
You begin to wonder
How you’re still able to care
I do Care about losing you
I do Care that we aren’t together
I miss conversations with you
I care about the smallest things
I care that he wasn’t put away
I care that I’m alone
And I always will

im tired
of trying to pretend
that I do
and
I do care
Sometimes
Im so not used to these feelings
And it *****
But we keep moving
and i just
dont ******* care
not anymore
~Sam

I have for a bit
and i cant tell you face to face
or on text
so here i am because i know you follow me
but you arent on enough to see this?
but if you do
im glad we were friends and hopefully still are
but you graduated
and you move soon
so im not sure when ill get to see you after you move
but for now im just here
waiting

We run around in a field
of hope and sorrow
hoping one day to escape the imprisonment
of the ones who are supposed to love you
We are hunted and chased by those people
when they only want to put you down
so call me a danger to society i dont care anymore
its not like you did anyways
we all seem the same on the outside
but you wont ever realize
how bad youve hurt me
I used to want to be like you
but now i know
that all you are
is a manacle *****
with no respect for anyone
not even yourself

You're innocent
Until proven
Guilty
Innocence
I'm not sure that I have that
Broken
I can try to pick the glass up
But ill only get
Cut
Love
One-sided till they leave
You can see the evil
But you can't understand why it happened
Why he hurt you
Why he didn't tell you
Why he said
He loved you
Just to leave you shattered
I wish you had gone to jail
Because then I wouldn't have to see you
Or hear her
Or watch you try to stare me down
They made me forget once
They can do it again
All I want
Is to forget
The good
The bad
The hateful
Things you put me through
I left because
I was scared
I knew that day
You would show up
You'd done it once before
and I kept my mouth shut
I wish I hadn't
I wish i had gotten anyone
But I didn't
I thought
I could trust you
And a few months later
What do you do?
You take it farther than before
It's not just pulling me close to you
It's kissing me and trying to force me to kiss you back
It's your cold lips on my neck
Making me want to scream
And cry
And all I can do
Is sit there
Trying to push you away
And I couldn't stop you
Till you said
That you never stopped loving me
And then I snapped out of it
I told you that
I couldn't
I was happy
Until that day
And I won't forget
Your name
Your face
Until they prove you guilty

Im not perfect
They all have to remind me
I need food
Then i feel bad
For eating so much
Then i forget again
But thats okay
Ill be alright
Ill just listen to the sounds
Of rain upon windows
As i wish
I could go...
Home?

Far away from people
There’s no way I can leave
The pain is unbearable
I can hardly speak
Have to keep to myself
Because I can’t be near
My loved ones right now
Because a stupid kid
Coughed on me

I left you a jar
Filled with love
I don’t know if you still have it
It’s been a year now
I still think about you from time to time
I remember I gave you a stuffed bear
For Valentine’s Day
It was cool
I think
There’s a lot of memories
Some from when I was little
I can’t remember much
Just little things
But love doesn’t last forever right?
Well maybe sometimes
But that’s not my point

It seems I cant stay calm
It seems I may be scared to lose you
My heart telling me I want to be around you
But I cant because
I get so jealous
And I cant stop it
I dont understand
Why it hurts so bad
Maybe because you knew I liked you
But thats okay
Cause im not gonna leave
Ive got to stick around
Even if it hurts
Hide my selfish self
Stop being jealous
And realize
You belong to someone else
And ill be around when you need me
Because I care
Way too much
To stop liking you
For who you are
Its sad to think about
But nobody really cares
Even in a room full of people
You can still feel alone
But is that anything new?
People can say what they want
And I dont really care
Because
I like you
And i wont give up
But for now
Ill keep quiet
Because
Jealousy
Ruins relationships
Friendships
And it could ruin us
No matter how much it hurts
Ill be here
Waiting
Because I seem to be incapable
Of moving on
I have my goals set
And you have yours
Im just glad
You're happy
Because thats all I want for you to be
Is happy

I want you
To Love me
I'm not sure
Because you still
Love him
So right now
I'm just
A friend
Until you realize
That I want more than
Friendship
And you leave
Like the rest of them

It’s hard to decide
If you deserved it or not
Because sometimes
You just don’t know
What Karma can do

And you still don’t care
I need to move on
And that’s what I plan on doing
I give up trying
I don’t need anyone
Not you
Not him
I just need me
It’s sad that I kept trying
Knowing you had a boyfriend
But then again
I am Selfish

Ive let go
Of the Pain
The feelings
Masking my hurt
By wearing a smile
Around you
Ive let go
Of the things we couldve had
I tried
But you dont like me
Im long gone
We cant
Keep pretending
Forever
As much as we wish to
It isnt possible
Maybe it is
But I dont want to pretend
To hide my tears
Shaking
I feel sick
I want to cry
To scream
Living on glass
Thats slowly starting to crack
Silently painting
The picture
I want
But it wont happen
Because maybe it was puppy love
Or I really do love you
But I need to
Let
Go
Of you
Of myself
Pretend
To
Be
Okay
Falling
Into
A rabbit hole
Once more
Every time
A butterfly
***** their wings
A Storm
Starts to brew
But
Ive let go
Right?
Keeping my feelings hidden
Knowing that Im just a
Crybaby
I just need
To let go
But I cant
I want to cry still
Sitting in choir
trying to concentrate
but
I
cant....

You were my life source
For a short while
I thought you felt the same
And now I know the truth
I’m glad that you’re happy again though
I’m floating on the water
Alone
On a little lifeboat

Sweet smell
I wanna lay in a field of flowers
Just feel pretty again
Lillies or roses
Theyre both so pretty
Maybe im just rambling
But I now have people to ramble to
Im so glad I have someone now

Love is
A four-letter word
Love can
Be painful
But I love Love
Even if you don't love me
Because you are happy
I want you
To be happy
Even if it's not me

You love him
It's obvious
He doesn't deserve you
I don't deserve you
He treats you terribly
Even I can see
That you need better
Someone who can give you everything
Love
Attention
Its obvious I like you but
It's oblivious to you
So I'm glad you don't know
I may be jealous

I hate that I love you
Because for some reason
I can’t get you out of my head
Even if we haven’t spoken
I still see you in my dreams
I don’t hate you
Just my feelings

I wanna tell you
That you are so much more
Then what you think
You deserve so much better
Because all he did was cause pain
I'm not sure what I wanna do
But I know I wanna spend my time
On you
Even if you don't feel the same way
I'll still be here
When you need me the most
And that's never going to change
I'm going to make sure you'll be okay
Before I tell you that I might love you
Before I take you to neverland

Can i be any more of one?
Im just chasing after things that arent real
But thats fine
~Sam

Maybe we can talk
Maybe video call
Or see each other
Or somehow keep in contact with each other
I miss you

I can’t help but feel like something is
Missing
I knew there wasn’t going to be an us
Even though I wanted so bad for it to happen
I’ve accepted it
And I’m trying to move on
But we haven’t talked much her and I
And I feel like I’m bothering her when I text her
I feel like I’ve been annoying people
Anyways
Because nobody really seems to care
I know what I’m missing
And I can’t seem to keep you off of my
Mind
I don’t know how you are doing
Besides the poems you write
If you’re still up
You can always text me
I’ll be up for a while
I can’t seem to sleep anyways
I don’t even know if you’ll see this or not
Part of me hopes you do
Because I really am
Missing you

Im slowly forgiving you
Well
Forgetting
Its strange
How you got
Under my skin
next month marks a year
and I can finally say you name
I was you the other day
it made us angry
as our mom pulled us away
but now you're
just a missing memory
and im okay with that
its been eleven months now
I haven't forgotten what you said
but you are in the distance now
maybe one day I can
forgive you
And forgive myself
for not yelling for her
but it wasnt my fault
it was yours
for thinking we were scared
scared to stand up
I was scared at first
but now I know
that maybe
you werent supposed to be a part of my life
you werent my life line
She was however
because she protected us
she calmed me down
helped me breathe
when nobody else knew what was going on
and im glad she was there
shes the reason I spoke up
and im glad I did
cause im not missing a part of myself anymore

I dont think we are meant to be

cant tell you that though

cause youll be upset

i feel trapped in this relationship

what do i even do

I think I’ve made a name for myself
Maybe

I think I need to start over
On everything
Just stay quiet
And stop trying
Nobody talks to me much
That is fine
It doesn’t matter anymore
For now
I’m Nothing

I seem to be numb to the situation now
The nightmares have almost stopped
And Im not as scared anymore
I might be a bit better as a person
And I cant seem to blame you
Because you meant the world to me then
A shell of who you used to be
Maybe one day I can forgive you
But ive put it to rest
Pushed you into the back of my mind
And now I can rest
Peacefully sleep
Without thinking
You were going to hurt me
Again
And Again
And
Again