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76 · Mar 2021
Oblivion
Alex Mar 2021
We fall into a dark place
No way out no safe space
We cant scream out
it will take away
All the things we wish to say
Like how i loved her at one time
and now another has come
even though she has someone else
Its fine
ill fall
into oblivion
where i dont exist
i never have
and never will
Just
Fall
75 · May 2020
Alter Selves
Alex May 2020
Different pieces of me
Scattered around
The voices taking over
Keeping things from happening
Protecting me
Keeping me safe
Not only from them
But from myself
74 · Dec 2020
Control
Alex Dec 2020
Theyre fighting me for control so uhhh

Not really sure what else to say

If im not very active much anymore

Thats why
74 · Mar 2020
Forever
Alex Mar 2020
Sometimes we fall
For the wrong people
But I think
That you aren't the wrong person
Because you make me smile
And I worry because I haven't talked to you
In forever
73 · Dec 2020
Hateful
Alex Dec 2020
Birthday wishes
And soft kisses
Small tantrums
Various lies
As I try to fight
He’s the favorite
It’s obvious
I don’t mind
Cause at least
I’m not as hateful
As she is
71 · Oct 2020
Fight
Alex Oct 2020
I caused it
And im sorry
I didn’t mean for it to happen
And now I feel terrible
71 · Apr 2020
Bored
Alex Apr 2020
I sit around
Listening to pointless songs
Watching shows
Doing work
Sitting around
Bored
68 · Apr 2020
Dreams
Alex Apr 2020
Im getting that same feeling
I did before
From him this time
not you
and im scared hes gonna do more than you did
I may just be extremely paranoid
But I doubt it
He keeps pestering me
I want to be left alone
But he wont go away
Hes wanting to stay the night
I dont want him to
But I wont get a choice
Ill have to keep both doors locked tonight
Hope he doesnt find a way in
Because I dont want to go though this again
I dont want it
I wont allow it
Lately Ive been having dreams
Or maybe old memories
Of You and I
And I wake up
Crying
Because of what you did
What you said
But I hold my breath
And try to stay in control
But theyll come back
Theyll make sure
He comes nowhere near me
That YOU come nowhere near me
And I trust them
Because theyve protected me before
And theyll do it again
In a single
Heartbeat
sort of just needed to vent
68 · Sep 2020
Love Hate
Alex Sep 2020
I hate that I love you
Because for some reason
I can’t get you out of my head
Even if we haven’t spoken
I still see you in my dreams
I don’t hate you
Just my feelings
68 · Mar 2021
---
Alex Mar 2021
---
We arent here
                                                                                        I dont believe that
Then dont
                                                                              why cant we just be normal?
because we havent been
                                                                                did i do something wrong?
Not yet
                                                                              am i gonna forget them?
Maybe    
                                                                           I dont wanna forget anyone..
Then dont
                                                                                   youll stay right?
We cant go anywhere my dear
                                                                                  she cant hurt me anymore
never again will she
67 · Mar 2020
Crying
Alex Mar 2020
You know that feeling
You get when something bads
gonna happen?
Im crying right now
And I have no reason to be crying
But I am..
I want to scream
Punch something...
To my future wife
Im sorry..
You have to deal
with such
a stupid
broken person
Who keeps putting herself down...
66 · Dec 2020
12:30 am
Alex Dec 2020
I cant sleep
Hes been telling me to
That i need to start taking care of myself
I cant do that
Theres no real point in doing so
Im not gonna live past 23
And i know it
65 · Dec 2020
Welp
Alex Dec 2020
I dont know what im really doing on here

When she finds out

Im gonna die XD
64 · May 2020
Blank
Alex May 2020
I feel odd
No Idea why
I just feel like a blank slate
I wasted my time
On him
On all of them
When I realized
That I dont like them
I messed up
So badly
In my past
But Ive gotten better
Because I have people who care
People who make me realize
Im not so blank
64 · Sep 2020
Butterflies
Alex Sep 2020
When I see one
I think of something different
Than what my grandmother sees
I see you
While she sees a loved one
Gone and passed
But we all have different meanings
For different things
Things we are attached to
But I really do
Miss you
64 · Jan 2021
Honest
Alex Jan 2021
If im being honest
Im not the prettiest
If im being honest
We have our insecurities
If im being honest
We cant pretend anymore
If im being honest
I dont want to eat
If im being honest
Things are different
64 · Dec 2020
Relieved
Alex Dec 2020
Ive never really thought about it
We werent meant to be
Not for a second time
Because im still a little obsessed
And i wasnt right for you
I still wanna say sorry
But it was the right tbing to do
To break up with me
I still care
Just we werent meant to be
And im a little relieved
63 · Dec 2020
Love sick Puppy
Alex Dec 2020
Can i be any more of one?
Im just chasing after things that arent real
But thats fine
~Sam
63 · Apr 2020
Down
Alex Apr 2020
You complain about the things I wear
If they smell you're the first to "notice"
I'm not stupid
What can I even do?
It's not like I'm going
Anywhere
Right?
I'm stuck
In this house
Trying to keep myself going
But you keep bringing me
Down
I really need someone to talk to..
63 · Mar 2020
Butterflies
Alex Mar 2020
I feel them when you come around
Forever and always
When you speak
I wish to hold your hand
To hold your heart in mine
Forever and always
You'll be
My butterfly
I've got it bad for this girl
63 · Apr 2020
16
Alex Apr 2020
16
In three days Ill be 16
In three days I know for a fact I could get a job
Three days
till I can have a bit of fun
61 · Feb 2020
Love and Jealousy
Alex Feb 2020
You love him
It's obvious
He doesn't deserve you
I don't deserve you
He treats you terribly
Even I can see
That you need better
Someone who can give you everything
Love
Attention
Its obvious I like you but
It's oblivious to you
So I'm glad you don't know
I may be jealous
60 · Sep 2020
Dreams Vs Reality
Alex Sep 2020
On the nights I do sleep I see you
And most of the time I wish I could see you
It’s dark out
I’m not sure if I’ll be able to sleep
But that’s okay
We’re gonna be okay
That’s just how it is
Reality doesn’t seem real anymore
You don’t seem real
Even though I know you Are
60 · Apr 2020
Pink
Alex Apr 2020
Pastels and dark colors
I can truly only think
That I am one
And one only
I used to think I was a purple
or  a gray
but now I feel
brighter
more vibrant
and Its sweet
because I am a pink
59 · Dec 2020
Girls
Alex Dec 2020
Thinking of growing my hair out
Reminds me of when I was back in third grade
With my cute little braids at school
I had no worry of falling in love
I could undo everything
fix myself
Although i still think id like girls
Because they smell nice
and they are there to talk too
But in all honesty
Nobodys gonna want a heartbreaker
Am I Wrong?
58 · Mar 2020
Butterflies 2
Alex Mar 2020
It *****
I cant see you
Or talk to you
Or be around you
And I miss you
Because you mean a lot to me
My Butterfly
58 · Aug 2020
Broken
Alex Aug 2020
Maybe I wasn’t the one
Maybe I can’t give her everything
I tried
But now I’m supposed to move on
But I don’t think I can
I don’t want to ruin things for her
Because I do love her
Even if she doesn’t me
Might keep off of here for a while
Think
Try not to get worse
Try to stop crying over
Someone who might not care
We are just friends
And it breaks me
So I’m sorry
58 · Sep 2020
Breaking
Alex Sep 2020
I can see us drifting apart
I wish we talked more
I hate hurting sometimes
But the thrill of it is what gets me
I get myself into situations
That turn out to be my remedy
58 · Sep 2020
Everything
Alex Sep 2020
It can’t be everything
Going wrong
Just me
57 · Aug 2020
Alone
Alex Aug 2020
I’ve never hated feeling so left out
Everyone has someone to lean on
But yet I’m stuck
Alone
Crying in bed for the fourth time this week
Nobody to talk to
Because they don’t understand it
How bad it hurts
When I get ignored by the people
Who matter so much to me
My chest hurts from all the pain ive been feeling
The loneliness is
Crushing
That’s how it starts
“I barely talk to her”
I get it
But I need someone to talk to
And you aren’t there
Because You don’t understand
How bad it hurts
To lose someone
57 · Oct 2020
Giving up
Alex Oct 2020
I’m not gonna be on for a while
It’s nobody’s fault but mine
I can’t sit here and stay calm
And pretend things are alright
She isn’t mine
And that’s fine
I’ll find someone
Who’s gonna stay by my side
Not just flirt for a bit
And then leave again
I won’t be on for real though maybe every once in a while but rn isn’t a good time for me
57 · Sep 2020
Doors
Alex Sep 2020
They hide secrets you don’t want found
A way to keep people out of your life
Locking them so you won’t be judged
For your past mistakes
My mistakes are stupid
And small
Most of them anyways
A void in my life that
I can’t ever forget
That I can’t forgive
Myself for
I regret not asking you out before
I regret falling in love
More than once
But not with you
Because I don’t regret much with you
It’s quiet now
Besides the yelling sometimes
I just want to escape
Find a safe place
Behind closed doors
You don’t know what someone
Goes through on a daily bases
You can’t predict the pain they have
I love closed doors
But I also hate them
Way too many secrets
For me to keep
56 · Sep 2020
Sorry
Alex Sep 2020
I’m sorry if I’m the reason
You got in trouble
I hope you’re okay
I wouldn’t want anything bad to happen
Because you mean a lot to me
Just be careful
56 · Sep 2020
Fire
Alex Sep 2020
It’s fascinating
I’ve figured it out
I like the way the flame looks
Sometimes I wanna touch it
Maybe I’m fire obsessed
But can you blame me?
It’s so pretty
55 · Aug 2020
Burn
Alex Aug 2020
Say you dont know
What people say or do
Things start to burn
People fight
And make up
You seem to like him
Right?
Maybe im wrong
I want too many things
To be right
Im glad we are still friends
Im hanging onto the last shred of hope
Thats a string
Becoming thinner
Till it burns up
When I give up
But now
The flame
Is fading
Because I have more
Hope
Than Fire
54 · Sep 2020
Apocalypse
Alex Sep 2020
If the world ended right now
Who all would stay by my side
Nobody can really know
Since nobody really talks to me
I guess if the world ended
It would just be me
Myself
And I
53 · Sep 2020
Butterflies
Alex Sep 2020
I can feel them in my stomach again
She’s sweet
Even though she lives in another time zone
I know she cares
And I still kinda like her
We’re just taking it slow for now
So I’m not taken yet
But maybe soon I will be
53 · Sep 2020
Days
Alex Sep 2020
I remember the few days
It lasted
We talked
And I actually felt something
Again
But now you’re not talking
At least to me
Maybe it’s for the best
One less person I’ll be scared to lose
Even though I’ve already
Lost
53 · Oct 2020
screen
Alex Oct 2020
you made me a little wallpaper
for my web browser on my chromebook
i never changed it
and i never want to
52 · Aug 2020
Crush
Alex Aug 2020
We all know that fuzzy sweet feeling
When they look your way
And talk to you
It sings a sweet song in your head
Until it gets crushed by the reality of things
When they have someone else
Or they do like you
But dont say so
Till its way too late
And you've moved on
Im being patient
Because I really
Like you
52 · Dec 2020
Cheat
Alex Dec 2020
You think im faking
So go ahead and think so
You can think im just a 21st century ***** go ahead
Im done playing by the rules
Im tired of looking for someone else
To fill my needs of "love"
Im sorry that I cant control them
Maybe it was for the best anyways
I cant pretend anymore
But in other news
I have a new aesthetic
And im not gonna stop being
The bad guy
51 · Sep 2020
Ex
Alex Sep 2020
Ex
I’m starting to feel better because of her
Maybe she still likes me
I know that my feelings for her never went away completely
So maybe I still have a chance
In love
51 · Sep 2020
Alone
Alex Sep 2020
I finally broke down today
In front of them
She told me to just
Pretend to be happy
Even when I’m not
I can’t keep pretending
Not now
Not ever again
She planted the seed
That grew inside me
Making me sad
And scared
I may get taken away
I don’t really care
The only thing I’m scared of
Is losing my brothers
And my friends
Because if they take me
I might not see any of them for a while
And there wouldn’t be anything
Keeping me from harming
Anyone
Because I feel way
Too alone
But it doesn’t matter
Cause nobody really cares do they
They all just want me
To pretend
50 · Mar 2020
Stupid
Alex Mar 2020
Was I that stupid
That I couldn't find the clues
That I had no special length
I would go to try and fix it
That right now I'm crying
Because I keep self-destructing
Trying not to do harm to myself
Or someone else
It's hard
So hard
Not to hate something
You never loved
In the first place
50 · Sep 2020
Death
Alex Sep 2020
Death is inevitable
So is it wrong
To want to die?
It isn’t like anyone would really care
That I wasn’t here
I was just ignored by most of my “friends” Anyways
even if it wasn’t me
To take my life
They would care more
About the tragedy
That broke us all apart
I’m sitting in her bathroom
Crying my eyes out
And she’s just laughing along
With her boyfriend
Who I’m pretty sure hates my guts
Maybe I did something wrong
By not talking
But what’s there to say?
When every time I try to talk
She ignores me
Like everyone else
And she’s supposed to be my best friend
And the only other person I want to talk to
Can’t talk
And If she doesn’t want to talk with me that’s okay
I was better off alone
50 · Sep 2020
Harm
Alex Sep 2020
I know I shouldn’t
It’s tempting
But I shouldn’t
I can’t keep destructing
Harming myself
To feel better
Because I’m just gonna feel a lot
More lonely
49 · Apr 2020
Wasted
Alex Apr 2020
I wasted my time
Trying to reconnect with you but
I realized you didn't want to talk to me
So I'm done trying
If you don't want to talk then fine
49 · Aug 2020
Bruises
Alex Aug 2020
I have a bruise on my arm
Not super big
But also not small
Its nobody's fault
I wasn't grabbed
I wasn't hit
But it still hurts
But im okay
49 · Apr 2020
Selfish
Alex Apr 2020
I feel like Im being selfish
Because I want you to be with me
But I know until you know how you feel
It wont happen
And im okay with waiting
Because I know what I want
And I hope now you know how I feel
That its okay that I call you Butterfly
Youve been hurt
But you're still so beautiful
Which is why
I call you butterfly
And why Im selfish
Because I dont want to lose you
Like I did mostly everyone else
49 · Sep 2020
Starting over
Alex Sep 2020
Can we just start over
Can we pretend for a moment
That we didn’t know each other
Can we pretend for a moment
That the rest of them don’t exist
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