I hope you’re okay
It’s been a while
Maybe you just don’t want to talk
I get it
But no matter what
You are beautiful
Even if you don’t think so
You were in my dreams again
You offered me your jacket
I was hesitant to accept it
Cause I wasn’t sure if you meant it
Even though it was just a dream
I wish it were real

If the world ended right now
Who all would stay by my side
Nobody can really know
Since nobody really talks to me
I guess if the world ended
It would just be me
Myself
And I

I can say the strangest things to myself
Sometimes it’s not even me
It could be a complete stranger
Telling me not to worry about
Things like relationships
But I like two people right now
At least I think I like one of them
And I know I like the other
Because I have all of Quarantine
For a while before that as well
I gave her a stuffed bear
And when I saw her during school
When I still went
A little mason jar
With three letters
And a necklace with a little gold heart
Asked her out in those letters to only find
That she had a boyfriend
And I assumed she was happy with him
Maybe it wasn’t meant to be
But when I look in the mirror now
I don’t see a complete stranger
Not anymore at least
I used to not know who I was
But it’s better now
I know myself
Even if nobody else does

I keep having these dreams
Waking up scared or paranoid
Thats okay though
Because they arent real
At least I hope they arent
I woke up from one today
Early this morning
As I looked at the moonlight
Coming from my window
I could see a hand
Reaching towards me
I panicked and turned my TV on
So I could sleep

I just want to sleep
And stay that way
I don’t want to get out of bed
And move around
I want to sleep like nobody cares
I’m tired

I finally broke down today
In front of them
She told me to just
Pretend to be happy
Even when I’m not
I can’t keep pretending
Not now
Not ever again
She planted the seed
That grew inside me
Making me sad
And scared
I may get taken away
I don’t really care
The only thing I’m scared of
Is losing my brothers
And my friends
Because if they take me
I might not see any of them for a while
And there wouldn’t be anything
Keeping me from harming
Anyone
Because I feel way
Too alone
But it doesn’t matter
Cause nobody really cares do they
They all just want me
To pretend

Death is inevitable
So is it wrong
To want to die?
It isn’t like anyone would really care
That I wasn’t here
I was just ignored by most of my “friends” Anyways
even if it wasn’t me
To take my life
They would care more
About the tragedy
That broke us all apart
I’m sitting in her bathroom
Crying my eyes out
And she’s just laughing along
With her boyfriend
Who I’m pretty sure hates my guts
Maybe I did something wrong
By not talking
But what’s there to say?
When every time I try to talk
She ignores me
Like everyone else
And she’s supposed to be my best friend
And the only other person I want to talk to
Can’t talk
And If she doesn’t want to talk with me that’s okay
I was better off alone