All I want
Is for somebody to call me theirs
To let me steal their hoodies
Tell me they love me
That they won’t vanish
I can’t keep holding on
I’m already drowning in my pain
I want someone to tell me
That I matter
That I’m not worthless
That I don’t take up so much space
To tell me
To stay

Can we just start over
Can we pretend for a moment
That we didn’t know each other
Can we pretend for a moment
That the rest of them don’t exist

I can see us drifting apart
I wish we talked more
I hate hurting sometimes
But the thrill of it is what gets me
I get myself into situations
That turn out to be my remedy

They hide secrets you don’t want found
A way to keep people out of your life
Locking them so you won’t be judged
For your past mistakes
My mistakes are stupid
And small
Most of them anyways
A void in my life that
I can’t ever forget
That I can’t forgive
Myself for
I regret not asking you out before
I regret falling in love
More than once
But not with you
Because I don’t regret much with you
It’s quiet now
Besides the yelling sometimes
I just want to escape
Find a safe place
Behind closed doors
You don’t know what someone
Goes through on a daily bases
You can’t predict the pain they have
I love closed doors
But I also hate them
Way too many secrets
For me to keep

I have a bruise on my arm
Not super big
But also not small
Its nobody's fault
I wasn't grabbed
I wasn't hit
But it still hurts
But im okay

Words I wish I could say
To you

It’s something I don’t feel anymore
I can’t escape
The voices
The people
Everyone around me
They don’t care
At least most of them
I’m just a bother to them
I don’t have many friends
And right now
It seems I don’t have any that want to
Be there for me
I can’t talk about what’s wrong in my life
Without them leaving me on open
They don’t ask
To make sure I’m okay
I’ve been having
Awful thoughts lately
My hope is the only thing keeping me
From acting on them
Who would care if I was gone?
You never know
I know maybe two people who would be
Upset
That I left them
But I can’t even get out of bed
Anymore
I’m so tired
Of feeling sad
And sick
Wondering
Why they hate me
Why I can’t be normal
Why I can’t even be loved by the ones
That meant so much to me
They turned into
Bullies
And liars
He turned into an abuser
She stopped caring about my life
And I’m not sure about you
Because you don’t want to hurt me
And I don’t want to hurt you
Because you mean a lot
Even if I don’t mean a lot
To anyone else
I’m sorry