In three days Ill be 16
In three days I know for a fact I could get a job
Three days
till I can have a bit of fun

Last night I had a dream
That we were at school
And you and I could be together
Its probably just some deranged fantasy
But I want so badly for it to be real
Because I miss the times we would get in trouble
For talking in class
And our teacher telling us to do our work
I want things to be sweet again
All sugar and honey
No virus
Nothing keeping us from talking
Because as the days go by
I remember the sweet things
How we were as kids
How I never forgot about you not
When you dissapeared in third grade
Not when you came back a few years later
Because right now
Things are sweet
I want to take the risk
I want to be with you
Because you mean so much to me
And I will always have your back no matter what
Because I love how sweet this can be

Im getting that same feeling
I did before
From him this time
not you
and im scared hes gonna do more than you did
I may just be extremely paranoid
But I doubt it
He keeps pestering me
I want to be left alone
But he wont go away
Hes wanting to stay the night
I dont want him to
But I wont get a choice
Ill have to keep both doors locked tonight
Hope he doesnt find a way in
Because I dont want to go though this again
I dont want it
I wont allow it
Lately Ive been having dreams
Or maybe old memories
Of You and I
And I wake up
Crying
Because of what you did
What you said
But I hold my breath
And try to stay in control
But theyll come back
Theyll make sure
He comes nowhere near me
That YOU come nowhere near me
And I trust them
Because theyve protected me before
And theyll do it again
In a single
Heartbeat

I sit around
Listening to pointless songs
Watching shows
Doing work
Sitting around
Bored

You might be the only thing keeping me from breaking apart right now
I've gotten really depressed
Feeding my monsters as I lay awake at night crying
But I know you're still here...
And I hope we can talk again soon
Because while the skies are dark
And I wait for a message
As long as you're here
I've got my sunshine

I wasted my time
Trying to reconnect with you but
I realized you didn't want to talk to me
So I'm done trying
If you don't want to talk then fine

You complain about the things I wear
If they smell you're the first to "notice"
I'm not stupid
What can I even do?
It's not like I'm going
Anywhere
Right?
I'm stuck
In this house
Trying to keep myself going
But you keep bringing me
Down