Divided within with
spells and rage
thoughts become useless
their all the same
mental and ******
so calm I remain
it's easy to hate
when identities relate
inside myself
the hostility invades
I clash with myself
endure the pain
combat the hatred
just to sustain
the conflict goes on
it won't go away
I live with this contest
it seems everyday......

Torn in two and feeling blue
doused in my reflection
because I would hate
to be like you
disgusted and displeased
why won't you let me be me
to shape and mold beliefs
a vision far and few between
to grow up and produce
a distorted kind of machine
I fail your ways, your test
your on my *** and won't let it rest
to be respected and admired
no wonder we don't mesh.

With all the whisper
all the screams
and the mumbles in between
some give me comfort
some are just obscene
the pain inside my head
just waiting to pass
secluded in discomfort
seems forever that it last
disturbing speculation
always to unfold
mood alteration
of feelings being sold
chaos and disorder
begin to take flight
why can't you see??
this ever raging fight
that lives inside of me....

Like a dark cloud that
chases you down
cloaked in darkness
without a sound
whispers from within
onset of hysteria begins
the mania won't stop
all is remaining to spin
spawn sick ideations
with outburst of rage
blissful excitement
of feeling deranged
this souls become useless
from the day it was born
I grasp at the nothing
my mind so warped and so worn...

Forgetting the past
with no wings denied
so I'll try something new
I begin to take flight
I am left not alone
I'm gone with the breeze
finally have found
found a reason to breath
moving on with my life
and digging up dreams
hoping to land
in a place to believe
a place not alone
one to call home
never to be
somewhere unknown
now I'm able to see
there is no reason to leave
to start a new life
where I can be Me....

Iv'e had a Hell of a time
without leaving this place
paste a psychotic smile
all over my face
it is all going wrong
needle stuck in my arm
the ring in my head
sets off the alarms
I'll take the reigns
junk flows through my veins
and I'll do it again
I still remember my name
faded within
my eyes start to go black
sight fades in and out
because i've been slapped....

Standing in the middle of yesterday
when it all went wrong
and I made mistakes
stuck in my same dull ways
some old some frayed
the same things to do
it seems the same day
sitting in my room
sinking in this box
allowing no others in
behind these locks
blaming myself for being
like somebody else
the candle burns down
so i watch as it melts
for reasons unknown
I can not find today
I'll stay inside
because I am afraid......