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Jackson Feb 28
i spend every day and night wishing i could be 15 again

since then i been feeling like an intruding alien in

the body i call mine and the mind ive been sealed in

dropped every ride or die so i could heal again,

knowing **** well i was lying to myself and deceiving them

never knew why i wore disguises, 5 years keeping up appearances

every night, all the time, wishing i could disappear again

only girl i was myself with thinks im delirious

now its only me, i and myself hearing this

insincere and full of surprises, to everyone else im a comedian

and i still wanna ******* **** myself cuz existing is so tedious

and i still hide the fact that i sincerely wish

i could decisively stifle the incitement to act like a

******* chameleon
Jackson Aug 2021
we gon be alright
we gon carry on our parents fight
we gon love our life
we gon change our times
we gon be praying for you, for that light
we gon speak, gonna use our voice
we gon march all day, all night
we gon be alright
Jackson Dec 2019
an eternal feeling of **** this,
im nocturnal, lack of sleep making me look undead.

if it weren't for my lack of a brain,
i would've figured out a way,

to rid myself of this ****, but i'm managing today,
to keep myself from feeling insane

over the fact you're not the only one i can blame,
for the way i'm having all of this pain,

******* forever,
is all i can say
Jackson Nov 2019
sometimes i feel like i'm just saying things
achievements on repeat,
retell one line, and i feel brainless
i've exceeded my limit on grieving,
from focusing on the part of me that never changes
time is passing, and my mind is bleeding
Jackson Nov 2019
i had chosen to get myself into this -

- the socializing,

the vapid friends list,

the ocean of lies and,

the recklessness,

the enormous price of,

hiding when depression still hits
Jackson Nov 2019
all these feelings that i got,
you can have em back.

all those things you thought,
keep em in the trash.

i wont keep you in my mind,
and i wont even lie -

- i don't wanna try,
i don't wanna waste your time.

tired of living now - time to say **** it
that's the reason why loving me is *******
Jackson Nov 2019
i am not doing well
at finding a balance;

    let me know if you'll wait for me,  
and ill let you know when im ready.

was i talking to myself?
are you filled with malice?

the silence is breaking me,
weighing on my soul heavy.

i dont want your forced love or your torture,
in the end im just a lost boy screaming for closure.
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