Trying to listen to my sober thoughts,
But my drunk ambition is a chaser.

Shot after shot,
I can't seem to stop.

So my mind's spinning,
as the world stand still.

I'm trying to get rid of this fear,
So I ask the bartender for another drink.

Fill me with courage as I confess my sins,
No need to preach, just baptize me in gin.

Just for tonight,
I'll erase ya.

Never been smart enough,
To listen to my mind.

Even when it's right,
My heart gets me Every time.

Will chasing dreams mean less regrets?
You regret you don't know them answers yet.

I regret that I even asked that ****..
But if life alone could mean anything..
Being right or wrong would you still dream?

They say in life only time will tell...
That's like hearing GOD whisper while the devil yell.

Being left only with my consciousness all alone with it just staring me in the face....
Bartender I think I need a refill..........

Love... Quite edible one could imagine.
Some may be famished beyond imaginary boundaries due to his or her own taste.
From sweet kisses, to bitter love, to varieties of flavor that spices up our lives.

We drink lover's spit if we care enough at the moment we see them, the edible ones because,
quite frankly the taste is so grand...

Only through time will we be seasoned to find perfection,
Until then it lingers, as our taste buds crave for more.
Something so tasteful that...
a man would swallow his pride,
a woman would eat her doubts,
a new born will sip it's nourishments,
a free food that no one could ever get full from...

Yet if prepared in the wrong conditions,
love could spoil and poison you, harm you,
destroy you...
So make the best out of the ingredients that you have,
To make it a grand feast that lasts,
before it all expires and goes to waste....

Let this marinade... Before it becomes your food for thought.
Let your cravings state that you are what you eat... lovely soul food.

I hope you never leave like the leaves with the winter breeze,
You've brought colors to my world like autumn leaves.
With your absence you've left me colorblind.
Surprised by my silent scream, but my eyes beg for you to stay.
Please...
My life has no light without you.
Like the moon to the sun,
I can't shine without you.
Because you are the reflection of my other half,
Until then I guess I'll always be half the man.
So will you drift away like the winds from my fingertips?
A cloud once I hold it tight,
Or my 1st memories in life?
You would hold your breath just so you wouldn't breathe the same air I would breathe,
Just to tell your new love that you have no part of me.
You mistake his love like a mirage in the desert,
You gambled with your eyes and see odds without measure,
Just another guy who always lose to guys who's not better.
Yes the type who could be your everything if you let me,
I guess it’s more affordable to waste time than to buy some regrets then sell them.

By K.J. and Myself

Thoughts changes with reasons,
As do nature with seasons.

Summer heats with warming thoughts of hope.
Leading to Springs of fruitful ideas.

Only to have goals set to Fall as reality changes with the leaves.
Then dreams slowly withers away with the Winter's breeze.

Adding wisdoms to each passing year.
Making failure nothing to fear.

For failure teaches success,
So it doesn't matter how things end or begins...

Bottled up emotions,
Accumulating,
Ready to pour out.
You're heavily on my mind.
Yet these clouded thoughts,
Makes me wonder,
Should I dive into this never-ending cycle?
Forecasting what it might weather,
Would it be a lasting dance in the rain?
Or would I be flooded with shallow scars?
You never know what each day may bring,
But hope that there will be light of a better day as we pass these storms.

You used me like a joystick,
Played with my emotions.
You pressed me until I malfunctioned.
Should've known when I saw your Xbox (ex's box).
You had me running around 360.
Now that I'm broke,
You can no longer be controlling.
You had me in this love triangle,
O by the way your X (ex) is a square.
You selected to start this confusion,
And that wasn't fair,
Should've known you're a cheat.
We're on different platforms,
Get off my network,
Cause we can't connect on many levels like Wifi.
I believed in your game, but it was all fake, Syfy.
Your lies was graphic,
You left me stagnant,
And gave me the cold shoulder.
I'm pulling this cord,
Game over.
So ******* and get outta my system!

You don't want your burden to drag others down,
So you hid it and try stand strong on your own.

So you created that carefree facade,
But you know it's starting to decay.

Your truth speaks within your lies,
You kept your face hidden but expose your eyes.

You tell them what they want to hear,
Because rejection is what you fear.

You seek approval so pleasing others is your focus,
But the world just seems so hopeless.

So away from everything you shunt,
Because you can't accept what's in front.

Your view is really subjective,
But that's only one perspective.

You are your own friend,
Don't let that relationship end.

You've brought us closer,
Then made us more distant.
Made us more aware,
Then made us doubtful of ourselves.
Introduce us to more friends,
Then invited more enemies.
Given us more publicity,
Then exploited us.
Save us more time,
Now it's spent to be more busy.

Simplify our tasks just to make life more difficult.
You're an entrapping blessing in disguise.
Made us feel more secure,
Yet gave us more tools to break in.
You've become our new addiction,
Just a second without you, 
Got us in technology withdraw.
You're a complication in simplicity.
There's so much to love you but also so much to hate.
Can't live with you or without you...

You may have left,
But my heart followed.
Now I'm falling apart,
With memories eating at my heart.
Got me hiding behind a smile in the day,
The sun shines just to cast a shadow.
Shedding tears reminiscing in the night,
At least the dark night will cover up my sorrow.
The cause of this pain is specific,
Thought our love and future were prolific,
Now I'm just a broken frame holding a picture...

I'm trying to let myself go,
But selfless thoughts won't let me so.
The weight of my conscience got me earthbound,
Got my head up to just look and envy.
A hostage to chain of thoughts,
******* to others expectations,
I'm living dead,
Dying to live.
Manipulated thoughts like puppet strings,
As my actions dangle for others' joy.
Every move I try to make,
Something always seem to pull me back.
Haven't found one with the right touch,
Maybe one day I'll find that violinist.

Sitting alone in my bed,
Anxiously yearning the touch of something different.

Contemplating about differences,
Visualizing the new experiences,
Mesmerizing about different beauties,
Fantasizing the new opportunities,
About women of different cultures,
Ethnicity and upbringing.

Pay no mind to the language barrier,
As our body speak that universal language,
We can have intellectual conversations,
We can have passionate  interactions.
Lets's ponder with deep imagination,
As we diversify this love, ignore it's discrepancies,
So girls of all colors come closer and get drawn like crayola,
As we paint this picture to see what we can make of this blend of colors.

Envision this:
Background music effectively babysitting my thoughts as I listen,
Laying under the moon, 
With that special person. 
Inwardly rehearsing, 
Every move to make, 
Opportunities to take,
Intaking the passion from the air she breathes out, 
Creating chemistry not even Einstein could figure out.

This love should be an equal opportunity,
You plus me that's all that should matter.

So would you explore your heart?
Release the stereotypes that keep you in the dark?
As darkness falls,
Our temperatures rise.
A reflection of moonlight shimmers in those eyes.
They tell me your secrets;
I tell you no lies.

What lies beneath your skin will be ugliness' demise.
Ironic, in the dark you see me for who I truly am.
And I tell you who you truly are.
So far. So good.
So deep, it goes beneath your beauty,
It goes beyond whatever society will tell you not to do with me.

Tonight your biases shall not rule thee,
For I am king of this pride.
Swallow your pride and swallow my pride.
Release the wait of inhibition and take this ride.

Our inner flames fueled by passion shall light our way.
They say, we are blind but it is only in darkness that we truly see.

Give up shallow emotions, let your heart be free.
Immerse yourself in this reality:
My love is river, all else is only skin deep.

My past has become my present,
A broken gift you can say.
Everyday has become yesterday,
Like reruns stuck on replay.
I'm always a few steps away from happiness,
But always fall behind short of breath with reaching hands.

I guess Time walks only to cast shadows to fall behind.
It teases me like a fleeting dream,
Let's me see what's ahead but truly only a mirage,
A present future that's so close yet ever reaching.

I guess Time walks to only cast shadows to fall behind.
Now it seems like I'm getting use to shade,
The cold darkness has become my comfort zone,
Thinking to myself if I deserve happiness?
If I step out my comfort zone will the light blind me?
Is it worth it for a moment of happiness?

I guess Time walks to only cast shadows to fall behind and only Time will tell.....
and when it tells would I listen?
Or make a decision without precision,
That obfuscate my vision that cause this collision of choices.
Each thought eludes me like reaching to grab a cloud,
So close to that answer but truly I'm off by miles.

I guess times walk to only cast shadows to fall behind.
Safe in the comforts of darkness fearing the light would show my past,
Maneuvering through the streets of life without headlights so I crashed,
Stretching out my arm hoping for a helping hand.
Yet so hard to find like a grain of salt in pile of sand,
Waiting patiently to be greeted by happiness before my expiration of time.
But this time, time walked to only to cast shadows to fall behind.....

By Sidney and Tien

Life or should I say one big experimentation,
Not a day goes by that my mind ponder,
Lying down my thoughts and diagnosis,
With nothing to do but to wonder.
Trembling from my own insecurities and impurities that enslave my conscious.
Do you truly have the faith to give up what you already own to find out?
To risk and pursue the unseen or the unknown for a better outcome.
Waiting on a sign to release the shackles that binds your mind from procrastination.
Are we living to die?
Or
Are we dying to live?
How do you find?
What can't be define?
Should I leap in hopes of flight to my destiny?
Open my mind to unusual subjection and gradually give the world the best of me.
Where do I begin to end?
Or
Where do I end to begin?
Life seems so simple yet not easy at the same time,
All we got to do is live,
But how do we live?
We tend to over-complicate,
Always wanting more,
Never able to accept as things are,
Is the grass truly greener on the other side?
Not always, but it's greener where ever you water it.

By Sidney and Tien

I hope you never leave like the leaves with the winter breeze,
You bring color to my world like autumn leaves,
With your absence you left me colorblind,
Surprised by my silent scream, but my eyes beg for you to stay. Please...
My life has no light without you,
Like the moon to the sun,
I can't shine without you,
Because you are the reflection of my other half,
Until then I guess I'll always be half the man.
So will you drift away like the winds from my fingertips?
A cloud once I hold it tight,
Or my 1st memories in life?
You would hold your breath just so you wouldn't breathe the same air I would breathe,
just to tell your new love that you have no part of me.
You mistake his love like a mirage in the desert,
you gambled with your eyes and see odds without measure,
Just another guy who always lose to guys who's not better.
Yes the type who could be your everything if you let me,
I guess it’s more affordable to waste time than to buy some regrets then sell them.
Or post feelings and mail them,
Misguided by the look in your eyes,
Warm touch but cold hearted inside,
Was I really the man you cherished with pride?
Or just another lie in your diary on page 5?
I can't stress enough how much I need you,
Besides God no one succeeds you,
1 moment you needed me,
2 times you cheated me,
3 times I fought for us and,
4 the last time you defeated me,
Left with a hole in my heart,
No peep show.
I thought I had the answers to this test,
No cheats though.
I repeat myself but you don't hear me.
I appear in all the right places but you don't see me.
Eyes wide shut:
Figure you think I'm being too needy,
Give you my all, it’s not enough,
I feel you're way too greedy
Take my love as a joke,
Because with him you're smiling and laughing.
That's just a sunny day,
I'm the Sun; this is everlasting.
Take a knife for you, write for you, live for you.
Now I'm bleeding for no reason, too stubborn to even see it.
I'm dying for you.
You say hi and then bye.
I die a little inside,
What's it all to you?
Oh, a game?!?
It's a shame, Life's a cliff, and I hope you fall too.
One day you'll realize that these ripples are from the waves of me catching you.

By K.J., Sidney, A.R. & Myself

As I close my eyes,
My mind opens to thoughts of you.
An instinctive smile,
For a distinctive beauty.
I see the words written within your eyes,
But get lost every time between those lines.
I can't help but to trace back.
I know the answers to why,
But don't understand why.
Thoughts just run on, no commas.
Questions marks my fascination.
Can't say no more, period.
Just know that it only makes sense if it ends with you.

Crying without tears,
Smiling without emotions,
Seems like I've gotten use to the loneliness.
I try to forget but can only remember,
Try to move forward but can only look back.
Just because time passes,
It doesn't mean that I'm healing.
Just because I receive love,
It doesn't mean that I'm giving it.
Just because I sleep,
It doesn't mean that I'm dreaming.
Just because I breathe,
It doesn't mean that I'm living.
No matter what I do,
It all feels the same like Deja vu.
I'm deeply wounded,
Drowning in shallow scars.
What we had together,
Everything was a 10,
You were the 1,
Now I'm left with nothing....