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Hugo Pierce Oct 2021
I hate myself for loving you
You chose to sail out the door
Leaving pain for a wake
And my brother on the shore
You told him you would take him
but instead you broke his heart
I had to become man of the house
I had to take care of mum
I'm glad I barely knew you
I didn't have to see what you had done
less than 5 months old
you didn't even give me a chance
But I can't hate you
I have tried
trust me I tried
I know when I see you
I won't be able to help myself
I know I don't need your approval
but that doesn't stop me wanting it
Wanting to know
If it is possible for you to love me
Do you love me?
It is impossible to tell
you left me alone in this world
Am I supposed to think you care
but
you would have been miserable
if you stuck around
if you were not happy
I am glad you left
I wouldn't want that around
but
It doesn't stop the pain
It doesn't stop me hating myself
it doesn't stop the anger I feel
Why Oh Why
no
How
Do I still love you?
Sometimes you just have to release the words onto the page and hope that your pain is somewhat coherent.
Hugo Pierce Oct 2021
You can't win a battle with the world
if you are at war with yourself
Hugo Pierce Oct 2021
How easy it is
to sink to the bottom
Relax
Exhale
Close my eyes
and just sink
Give in to fatigue
Cease my struggling
It's hard to stay afloat
But how easy it is
to sink
It can feel like the lesser struggle to give in and let life beat us down sometimes, to stop struggling, grinding and fighting. Letting ourselves go and giving in to comfort can have a strong allure, but the plight it will cause will be the same as a drowning person giving up on swimming to shore. It may be easier to give in, but it will ensure your demise.
Hugo Pierce Oct 2021
I am angry
I don't know why
I don't know for how long
but I am angry
It hurts me that I am angry
I am angry because I am scared
I don't know why I am so scared of being angry
but I am angry
It is affecting everyone around me
hurting the ones I love
this makes me scared of hurting them
I am angry.
Hugo Pierce Oct 2021
If I am a crying success,
might I be a happy failure?
Hugo Pierce Sep 2021
She never lied
Just whispered dreams in present tense
Hugo Pierce Sep 2021
What if it is me?

What if
I am what lurks in the shadows
What if
I am what scares me most
What if
I am capable of doing what others won't
What if
I am the monster under the bed
What if
I am the thing to be feared
What if
evil is me.
Many prefer to remain ignorant to their capacity for evil
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