I am angry
I don't know why
I don't know for how long
but I am angry
It hurts me that I am angry
I am angry because I am scared
I don't know why I am so scared of being angry
but I am angry
It is affecting everyone around me
hurting the ones I love
this makes me scared of hurting them
I am angry.

What if it is me?

What if
I am what lurks in the shadows
What if
I am what scares me most
What if
I am capable of doing what others won't
What if
I am the monster under the bed
What if
I am the thing to be feared
What if
evil is me.

I yearn for silence
these thoughts
these noises
Tormenting

Not all dreams are nightmares
but not all nightmares are dreams
Last night I woke up
with the hallway echoing my screams

I saw you with another man
with happiness all could see
I told myself it was just a dream
not premonition of what was to be

I swore I would try harder
to be the man you needed in your life
I needed to focus on you
make you feel happy to be my wife

Today I would bring you flowers
It's wasn't much but it was a start
I thought I would leave the office early
We already spent too much time apart

I couldn't wait to get home
I rushed through the gate
I flung the door open
But I was too late.