I am a being made of shame
And all that I am
I can see in you

I am pathetic in my apathy
And, yes, I know
You could care less

My mind self-destructs
In glowing patterns
That replicate themselves
Endlessly
Until I can't even tell
If I'm me or I'm you

Talk a lot of ****
But ain't put up with it
'Cause all of your beliefs
Have stained your ******' teeth
Black, brown, and baby green
Strugglin' like a fiend
To get close to god again
Let her wash you of your sin
Merely worship at her feet
Lapping up her sick disease
Claims to save you from microbes
Some colloidal silver for your lobes
Her skin blue and deadly thin
Fist in where life begins
God hole seeping ready pour
They call her mother *****

I pine for you, my pineal princess
Wash me in your waves of dmt
Let me taste each color, sound
And float away to inner space
I have no body, this is no place
Too long I've screamed, I lack a face
My hands shake crooked, I stroke god's cheek
And taste her poison, inside of neith

Are we drunk enough to **** yet?
Come on everybody, place your bet
We're racing our anxieties
But never finding the finish line
**** me, oh won't you please?
Thrill me, become mine
Thine will to be done
Til' summer has come
And away we go with abandon

I'm not doing well
I'm lost thinking about slitting my wrists,
Shooting my head,
And suicide that fits

And it's not going away
It only gets worse
Nobody listens when I cry for help
So they'll be surprised when I'm off to hell

There's a murderer down the block
Oh wait, I guess that's just a cop
Ain't see the difference there, can you?
But I mean, what the **** can we do?
That doesn't get us beat along the head
Another statistic of the dead
Only they don't report those, do they?

She screams and claws my face
I bleed, the skin replaced
God grant this daily race
But keep the bread from the poor
Those wretches we adore
Only when they're breaking backs
Don't break our cheques
Nor relent til' death
Or our goddess will be forced to rent
My peasant flesh again

Blood ******, though blessed be my enemies
I've been doing fine lately, so maybe that's why there's less lines in my mind.
I've been lost imagining fingers on my spine, breath in my ear and your tongue on my lips.
Couldn't give a **** if my anxiety tells me to quit; that's what it said about writing but what keeps these lights on?
I'm a crisis but one that's running out of steam.
Soon I'm going to have to accept that I'm just fine and let this version of myself die.
Not sure why I keep holding on, I guess I kinda like the way the words flow when I let 'em.
But I'm getting older, another decade facing me from across a calendar flip.
Not quite "oh ****, this is it" levels of old but enough to realize I'm not sure what I want to be.
A year ago I wasn't so dead set on building a house and starting a family.
Now I want to be a grandfather with some goats in his yard, a pipe on his lips and too much knowledge to be allowed to live.
I kid, but only in the slightest.
Let my ****** be justified, just let it be far away.
Rather raise a kid and see them grow into their own while I water the garden of my own consciousness.
Grow some skills with lots of tender care and prosper properly in perfection permanently.

Exploitation of masses is what I'm after
Another player in an industry overwrought
But I've got all that I bought and it just ain't enough
Ain't got the power needed to sway the herd
So I'll focus on you, you, and you
Infest your brain like a worm, twisting things all unearned
One-on-one-on-one-on-one, all things eventually come undone
Thinking sane lost to infected brain
To make you what I want of you
I'll destroy what's already been built
Ain't gonna make it up better, just broken
In that way that lets me fill
The cracks of your mind like concrete
Me-me-me-me, is all you'll see or believe
Until' it comes crumbling down
My little attempt at a festive Jonestown

Come on baby, **** in those cheeks
Another rock to smoke, a little more coke to stroke
It ain't over til' it's over and baby it's never over
Addicts addicted to everything addictive
TV, *******, **** and brain
Fast food, slow rides,
We've got an environment to poison
And we don't care, we ain't looking for a cure
Toss ourselves on the fire of apathy
24/7 we're told its ending
So throw a party, throw some oil on the fire
Heed the lies and don't try to change
It's easier to die when you don't put up a fight
It's easier high, when you don't have a life
It's easier to cry, when you disassociate
So let's soak ourselves in our tears,
Have a good cry
And get on with the planetary suicide

My lips crack and split
As another wave breaks against the ship
And the hopelessness sinks in

The captain's dead at my feet
A knife plunged deep inside his gut
My knuckles white around the handle

I'm not ready yet to die
But accept we won't survive
The deep and vast sea
Leaves you lost to soul like me

Now fire rips through ropes
A demonic hull is wrote
Against a yearning blue
The heat devours all that's true
Falling of the side
A head-first suicide
To dive beneath the waves
And never surface ev'r again

I got a head so big no halo fits me,
Don't **** with, ****, fight, or kiss me
I've got **** for breath, yeah I'm smoking whiskey
And baby's breath sweetly sings my medley.

I'm torn up and exacerbated,
Exhausted, but hey, I just masturbated,
So come quick, and see the Eden I painted
Before the pigs leave it ******' tainted.

I'm angry, I'm scared, I'm happy, I'm feared;
I'm everything you could want to be, wrapped up in a blanket weaved from my own neurosis.

I want to see your pretty face all black and blue,
Maybe a dash of red or two;
This part of me
It hates you
                     but what else is new?

Don't hesitate when the gang **** gets to you,
The pigs go marching two-by-two
Crushing freedom under the boot-
Licker's salivating watch.

Here I am, barely awake and half starved
I'm exhausted of being exhausted
But closing my eyes and you're all I see
Each movement and melody
It's an exhaustive list of that which is killing me
Your hands, flat, running down the leg of your jeans
Each ******' smile pristine
I'll thank god to let me cherish this memory
And your eyes ... so alive
I'm being pulled every which way but all I want to do
Is witness you
Words come to mind like divine, sublime, fine saccharine
But in my silence I'm columbine inside
Walking a fine line between destitute pursuit and abused lewd
My insides ache for what goes on behind closed doors
Baby, I'm a ***** but I've always been more, always been yours
Always been always was
But always ain't nearly long enough these days
I've got it bad, each line I hear reminds me of you
Reminds me I'm *******
I've got a world of pain ahead of me here and I'm steering towards the median each time I close my eyes.
I don't know if you know what you do or if your words are as carefully chosen as mine.
If you do, then I guess I'm the mouse finally bleeding dry this time.

It's not my intention to bring pain everywhere I go
Just how I've lived; so, baby, it's all I know


With a hand wrapped around my throat,
And another in my lap,
I'm death-defying,
******' flying,
Ready to crash.
Land another job,
But it doesn't get rid of me.
Ain't nothing that does,
Is that stupidity or an epiphany?


Lord knows I'm a liar.
I got my downswings but this life ain't so bad,
After all, it's all I've had
I only wish I could have spent it better,
cradling your head in my lap
and running my hands through your hair.

There's people I need to cut from me,
Bleeding red until I'm free,
like ribbons in the wind.

I am a void that you can't fill
So just avoid me like a ****
But remember that where your breath dwells
I'm there as well
Between the beats of your heart,
the stops and the starts
Hear me whispering your name in the dark
Like the devil on your shoulder
Ain't no angel givin' orders
I'll be the face that you see
While he's got you on your knees
Don't worry baby,
Your secret was never safe with me.

Scared of the scared grace of your stare
I would dare, but how does one admit they care?
I'm prone to over think things, though you paint me a blank
So the gun you hold to my heart never kills.
But it does make me hesitate.
Too late, and getting older everyday,
Maybe this is a crisis,
Like the way we felt screaming out lungs out.
There's a lot I never forgot but I lack the words to share,
But it's always been there, the face and the hair.
I'm trying to be a better person each day,
But I'm a martyr with a devil on his shoulder looking for a thrill.
If looks could **** then you'd be a massacre.
My sacrament has always been la petite mort,
and the words said between.
I've managed a poem with out mentioning flame,
so maybe I'm okay,
Oh wait...

Naked and alone
There's no one calling on the phone
Ain't no parents to come home
And I'm prone to breaking apart
Falling into pieces of self-absorbed angst,
Suicidal depression and apathy
I've got all these words in me... right?
So where have they been?
Won't you come out, my friend?
Tell me all your sins
The struggles within are spiraling
Don't tell me you haven't noticed
There's no one calling on the phone
***** dangles from the beard
It'll settle down
It'll settle.

One, two
Just a few words
Any is better than none
The mire I've been wading through
Already got lost
Belligerent ******
Stumbling my way
In creative pain
A lack of sense
No sense of self
Shelved
Steel wool to the lying hand
Bleed free the ink
Taste the sunrise
Again
Seek answers
Buried questions
Beneath elms of green
Rotting corpses lie

And you will crawl,
on broken glass, should I ask.
But what does that say?
Is bleeding really how you get your way?

Maybe I'm missing something here
But there ain't all that much to see
So I doubt it.

Hands clawing my throat,
Though there ain't no lies.
Just apathy, dopamine,
and a lack of oxytocin.

We're living circular cycles,
**** near cyclical;
But we're living in a time
That's either linear or spiral.

I know a thing or two about what's eating me,
But I'm a coward, a ******* and a weak poet.
Earn a living with my words, though,
So I'll take what I can get.

I haven't bit the hand that feeds often enough,
Come on baby, you know they like it rough,
They've been ******* us, sure enough.

Now problem number two,
I'll let you doubt which is which,
Had to give you the slip,
Then you pull me right back in.

Flip again and now I'm teleporting in,
Every ******* drop of your roller coaster eyes;
They're eating me alive,
And I'd surmise,
That my stomach can only hold on so long
Before it bursts and I'm hurling up butterflies
Into yellow skies,
My demise was written on your hips.

She's on her knees and in our hearts
No time to waste, so let us start
A smile sweet and laugh to last
And three young men she has amassed

She sees us there and knows our pain
These three young men that have been slain
With blooded blade and razor'd mace
We're put to ground and then encased

Her God is dark, her God is deaf
Her God refuses to give us breath
In gardened plot we shall decay
Through our eyes the worms will play

She prays for us, three sinners lost
Across her chest she signs the cross
Yet we still burn forever more
And when she dies we shall be four

I can't slip out of the noose around my neck
You better check to see if I'm still wallowing before you come hollering
I ain't got nothing but bad dreams and she screams in technicolor verses
The curses that nip at my feet have taken me to a place where even the **** of my innocence seems sacred
Face it
We lost the bet and are both running naked and we're complacent in the lies being spread
The words never said
And the bottom of the bottle's been the only thing we've ever known
I've lost control, ready to swallow any ****** 'cept the rope's too tight and only the first hit was free
Come on and walk with me into the sea until the waves cover our heads and the voices of the dead are the only sounds in the deep
I ain't got enough sleep, toss and turn like forefathers
Dig a shallow grave for the lie of my creativity
I'm stealing baby Jesus from the nativity so he can save my soul but even he can see it ain't nothing but a hole
I've lost control and my limbs are still shaking
If this was a suicide note, would it make a difference?
Bow before my diffidence, a defier of logic that fires illogical neurons to connect disparate pieces of myself with the last breath to leave my chest
Even I'm sick of my own ****

These places
Lose faces
And shut down the blinds

These places
Lose faces
And lock and the doors

These floors
Abhor
Any trace of what could have been

These floors
Abhor
Any trace of what might have been

Shut down, find no trace of them.

(**** them) (**** them) (**** them)
Relax
The ending comes slowly

Relax
Don't forget to breathe

Their hands
All on me
Emptying my everything

I am becoming you
My first
The prettiest little corpse

Don't forget to breathe
wait WHAT came first//
\See me. bE mE/

a s
      phy
              xiat
                      ing

She holds
Inside
All your little lies
She holds
Inside
All the sins of mankind
Filthy womb
Inside my mind
Filthy tomb
I can't find
Filthy
My way
Filthy
Out of
Filthy
This place
Help
Suffer
Me
Help
Suffer
Me

The page
Grows longer
Every day
The page
Grows longer
In every way

Don't look
They can't see
Don't look
Or you'll find, see
See?
Seee?
Seeeeeeeeeeeeee?e
e?
eeeeeee?

He comes
Inside of me
He comes
The night filled with ecstasy
Then comes
the death of
M
e

Ripping limbs
All of them
Tearing away


Rend
Love
Tearing a hole
Right through

You don't need to know
None of us needs to know
We're held there with our eyes pried open and forced to watch as the end is televised
                                    and
                                            we beg for more
                                                                           like oil thirsty ******
     we
           alll
                  want
                             blood
                                        we
                                              all
                                                   slow
                                                            down
                                                                       to watch
                                                                                       the
                                                                                                 p
                                                                                                 r
                                                                                                 e
                                                                                                 e
                                                                                                 t
                                                                                                 y
                                                         car
                                                          w
                                                           r
                                                           e
                                                           c
                                                           k

Hold me down and **** my face
With another advertisement
About food I can't taste,
Cars I won't race,
And the death of the office space

Teach me your disease
So I can fall to my knees
Praising the god of consumeristic love
A trickle-down striptease

I'm screaming in seconds like transparent orbs
The words of intoxication blend my speech
Until my mind is barely making sense
Of the reality I've lost touch with.

I question myself and my everything
And every single movement like a weather vane
Capturing the winds of my attention
To lesson my mentions and increase the tensions.

I ain't so sure about myself as I once was,
Maybe it's all of the drugs or the lack thereof.

Hate to be a bore but I'm looking to score,
But I ain't sure if we're playing hockey, tennis or soccer.
Never suffer a witch or burn a martyr,
Especially when they're the supplier.

Ain't much of a liar but then I ain't ever been much for the truth neither.
I'm teething and biting the ***** of this so called life and I drink what I like, no matter the color.

Deep down and somewhere under, I shudder at the thought of what could be if I would stop speaking in metaphors and open up my energy in a direct application.
But since that's just a fantastic, too apt destination, I might as well shut my ******* mouth and finish this poem.

But I never know when to quit,
So last verse is dedicated to you...
Whatever the ******* are.

Drowning in blood, suffocating in mud
Half a million lives for few miles of strife
The war to end all wars only ended itself
And hell has been raised every decade since

We've murdered ourselves and murdered our kin
Lions led by donkeys pretending at men
The rifle is good but the machine is the god
Of murdering millions over a few ******* yards

I'm angry as hell that we've went through the flames
And came out the other end with no lessons in brains
No shining moment that opened our eyes,
Cleaned away the grime of a third so enlightenment we could find

In the years that have passed, we've fallen on *****
Let fascism grow like the weeds in your garden
We should be pulling faster but don't like bending our backs
So we've got nobody to blame when we're choking on gas

I feel empty and alone
Maybe that's the way it should be
With only myself left
To watch over me
I don't know what's left to say
I've loved you every single day
But love and life
Ain't got a whole lot to do with me
So I write another book
Take another job
Lose my ******* self
In the workahol
Another sleepless night
Another deadline to write
I'm killing myself
In the only way that people praise
Suicide isn't quick
Now it takes forty years
Eleven left to go, I guess

We're burning each other on the roofs of our mouths
Too tired to shout,
I've been rewired and reprogrammed to chase dreams
And aim for the jugular when I teeth, speak or ****
But I got this thorn in my side in the shape of an angel,
Me, a sinner, never-ending self-inflationist with an ego problem and too much confidence for his wellbeing.
I'm hard of hearing when we're speaking ******* but your body screams louder than words,
though it's mostly verbs, if you catch my drift.
I'm pretty sick but not like coughing out my chest and stabbing a toddler for a pack of toilet paper
More like my head doesn't fit and all of the **** it's spewing seems imaginary
Don't let me get carried away here, I had a point I was trying to make
But saying I love you doesn't come easily to me in the case of my demons
They're breathing, skin and blood and bone and ringing phones with nobody home
You know I should be working but it's all that I do so lets take a moment with these words
And let them trace over your skin like fingernails and gentle tongues
Or **** it, we can get lost in the blood
Two animals clawing away any trace of their humanity
Flesh meets spirit, we let the world slip away
Into another hazy maze
With emotional highs and lows, though much more stable
We upgraded from that basic cable drama ****

The drugs hit
And for a moment the pain seems to dissipate
We're getting lit
Because it beats bothering to communicate
We're together now
But further away than we've ever been
I want out
But being stuck here is my only sin
You best pretend
That the love in your heart still reaches me
I best pretend
That I'm young, dumb and still innocent
Should I leave?
Or is that a recipe to keep you haunting me?
Should I stay?
Or am I sabotaging my joviality?
Who are we?
But carcasses for the stepping stone
Can't we see?
Being together doesn't mean we're not still alone.

Swallow plague, out for the holidays,
Holler ways, I'm short on hearing and my ears are bleeding,
Numb, I'm screaming
Quick fix,
Wake up in a subway with stigma on my greedy tongue.
I'm a ***** when the weather comes, a hermit in the winter and your baby's new Mr.
Cheap shot but the blisters on my feet you will meet.
Like an **** at the Bed and Breakfast, I'm gone before dinner.
Nighttime sinner when dusk comes, all love when she comes.
Come come morning split conscious ways to hideaways miles away.
Can't cut what you've never loved, can't split when the heat comes;
No ****** glove, just accountability in dollar amounts from settled hugs.

So she follows me tomorrow, while I'm still escaping today.
I can't wait to say, I hate to say, I told me so.
I'm a naughty disinfect with a numb body from the infection.
A walking lesson, contradiction, legion of lesions,
I'm quietly lying with my sin, unsure where I stand within.
Watch my degradation, how my morals decay and I waste away.
If I knew what I wanted I wouldn't be haunted, just lonely.
But I'm lonely anyway, stuck in this Victorian cage;
The maiden is metallic and I'm stuck within.

I am the definition of grasping, in a Buddhist sense
A rotten mouth thirsty for another sip,
I imagine a future we're living in
Why do I always expect you will follow?
Swallow my pride, swallow my seed, swallow my misery then swallow me.
I'm swollen inside, can't you see?
The pieces that depart from me.

I would give my everything,
For your nothing.
Inside, I already have.
Now take everything,
And move along.
This is just another sorry, sad song.

What is this?
Am I mad, do tell?
For letting me
Drag me straight through hell.

What is this?
A pile of *******?
Another trip inside my head
Where devils reside and satyrs grin?

There's cuts under the collar
Another superlative grin again
The summoning of dividends
And whiskey breath that reeks of gin
Do pass a kiss and face the chin
Down the gallows sweet caress, le fin.

Rumble *****, the devil's in
Will whip me through the flesh again
And be this so, on this here night
He'll take my life, he'll **** my wife.

The words are seldom quite so strong
But the bottle helps to carry on
As I face my fate, what I've become.

The fascists are alive
The fascists need to die

The fascists are alive
The fascists have to die

As long as the fascists are alive
We're gonna ******' die

The fascists are alive
So nobody will survive

The fascists are alive
Let 'em black out the ******* sky

The fascists are alive
The fascists need to die

I'm lost inside my mind and this is all still happening
I can't see the path I wave, that traffic's always blinding me
But something lost in time still screams
Both on our knees, the bludgeoning
Maybe floods coming rising in
Like neurotransmitter kisses.
My wishes still far from death,
Contentment feels like a ***** with whisky breath
I'm pissy whipped and that ain't auto-correct
Go ahead, take a guess
But what you think is not relevant
Just evident
And written across your frame
And the silences we neglect.

In tender womb grows wretched creature
Born of crooked frame and twisted features
Festered wounds and boiled sores
Marked pocked face and oozing pores
A smile long of tooth and grim
And voice that sang of satan's hymns

We hid away from light of day
Turned t'wards sky on knees to pray
That neighbors, town, would never know
Of wicked foe that brought such woe
Til' days turned weeks, months, then years
Mind ailments gave peace from fears

Then parents died and time went fast
Home to sell, small estate amassed
Sordid folks came to witness sale
And found hidden room of our tale
Thoughts of treasure fueled opening door
But only fear and pain fate had in store

Ravenous hunger, blooded thirst to sate
Rendered flesh and face to mutilate
One last breath, then off to unity
And now it's know throughout community
The house down the path is best ignored
Unless you're ready to meet your lord

In her lair there she squirms
Dances ***** with all the worms
Invites my frolic with tender care
Rends flesh from head t' ***** hair
Grinds my bones and kisses lips
Closes coffin and moon eclipsed
Now bury beneath the sodden soil
Where bodies are left to slowly spoil
Masturbatory cries with memories lost
Severed limbs in **** did toss
To birth homunculus in gore
And make of world none but war
Discarding life onto the benches
As men do fall along the trenches
Powder blasted sky and land
My corpse with friends left in the sand
And now we shant ever rise again
From the lair where she did contain
Her love of lust and murdered men
Til' all of death is her demesne

And I am screaming at nothingness
My throat too raw, it only collects dust
In pools of spittle and blood at my feet
Caved in my trachea with bitter features
These **** poor creatures
Who swallow every word uttered
Rust shut my carotid, jugular and sane
I'm embarrassed of the things I haven't done yet
and I'm ashamed to find myself still wanting
The devil bowed at my feet is my own insecurity
My suicidal ideation and sense of self-worth
Tongue lapping up my disease
They'll forget you while you're here
And worship the fallen idol of your suit-clad corpse
Necrophiles pulling off pieces to ****** within
The stench of rotting flesh stiffens *****
They'll love you once your dead

******* son seeks slender snake
To slaughter weaklings where they weep
And make of mary much too little
The demon ******* ******-off fiddle
Ain't ask so anxious master's agents
In rotten waste riotous with glee
The death march defies much that's daunting
In scope of seizure-laiden bores
Where fires fell villains and villagers
No discrimination, no designation
Could save a life, could serve a little
So no seldom comes a passing grace
Sure north seeking crones plaster gore
Upon a shield upheld and shorn
Could fight off filth and fling back festers
These demons derived directly from thanatos
Battlefield bred more ******* born
Honoring history of father's lost
By fearlessly repeating the cycle hense

Lost at sea and suffering screams,
The blood of the captain has already run
From the blade of the knife I've embedded in thee,
Twisted and severed, arterial flow
Let this red water guide us home

Sickness persists and the men are withering
Their dithering cries for food and sustenance
Are carried on waves off to oblivion
We've been here too long, this floating coffin
Home is a place seldom thought to soften
The blow of our death on these seas

We're frightened of ghosts and jumping at shadows
Lighting the torch and burning the top
Flames lighting ropes and spreading abo't
Panic grips bodies and compels into motion
The sinking of ship further below the ocean

MOVE, you cowards
FLEE, this is the final hour
DEATH, reaches to grip your ankle
LAST BREATH, lost to the depths

Lost to the depths, the bodies of men
Never to surface again
Heavy are my lungs
The water seeps in

I'm hurting myself a syllable at a time
A memory that unwinds,
But a moment in time
And maybe this is nothing
Maybe nothing is everything, all that'll be, all that screams
At me
But I don't know anymore what I believe, what I need, what I see
I'm gaslighting myself on fire, the flames growing ever higher
Holy matrimony burning this church, I'm a liar
A funeral pyre
And all I desire
A voice on the end of the line, a second in time, to make the clock unwind.
I'm a danger to myself, the worst enemy of my health
But I keep on pushing forward into the unknown,
Keep on pushing further away from you
And everything that might have been
if I had only watched my mouth.
Lies crept out between a harlot's lips
and I drank them like a sweet wine.
I'm still trying to recover everything I've ever been
But too much of it was tied to you.
And it's only now, as I pick the scab, that I see how ******* broken this all has left me.
You're laying this to rest,
While I'm laying it to waste
Away,
Forever away,
Until I close my eyes again
And trace the lines of your smile
The pitch of your laugh, your cadence and grace.
Baby, I'm an ***.
There's so much I can only say in these lines
And I doubt you'll ever actually read 'em.
Maybe that's best, I don't know, but it's all that I've got.
I've been writing the same poem for fifteen years
So yeah, I already know,
Baby, I'm a hack.

Baby watch me, no touch
Ain't got so much to lie
She wants me in four-wheel
With a head like drive

Where you'd go, now no fear
We just ain't got time
Taste and touch my insides
Baby, that ain't no lie

Too weak to speak right
Too much to lie
Double back and get ******
Three holes if got the time

Words don't work
Lick, swallow pride
Following wagging dog now
Tail beside its hind

She ain't all that so tough
She ain't got soul to hide
Daddy dearest beat me
Eat up, watch me die

I'm all lies and bad etiquette
Don't like myself but then again who's head am I in?
Mine or yours?
Mine or my fantasy?
Mine or thine's enemy?
I'm a child of hate, spite and fury...
'cept that's a lie, my mom's an angel and my dad's an influence.
I made myself into whatever the **** I am, so I can't point the blame at them.
But what am I?
I feel like a success and I got the track record to ******* prove it.
But this other part screams I'm nothing.
Isn't nothing all we are?
What makes a man human?
****, what makes a man a man?
We're finally waking up to the idea that this was all a costume party,
Frankly it's about ******* time.
I don't care if you're buddhist, muslim, christian or any other domain,
I'm sick of watching my friends hurt.
It's just another thing I can't control and I'm sick to dying with all this ******* lying.
Maybe one day I'll wake up and forget my name and the simulation will come crashing down.
But since  I think I'm in it, I'd kinda like to win it but without all this ******* regret.

But honestly, I'm as two-faced as they come.
Only it's typically me I'm lying to.
Lately I feel like that's growing
The cracks are showing,
Thank god for comedy, poetry and metaphysical mutilation.
Transgress and live free,
Escape spiritual poverty.

Words flow
Like river tributary
Seldom smooth
Rough tides for rough minds
And in this I'll hide
Intentions true
Is it me or is it you?
Rafting these white waters
Seeking answers
Through the stressing of muscle
The tension in form
Head above
Now under
The water roars
Until the words run dry
We're at the end
With the lessons learned
Oh what lessons learned?

I will fill you with shame,
And devour the taste in leaves on the roof on your mouth,
the roof of your being
                                       and all your insides
I             lie
   won't
Don't confuse the toilet lickers with the boot lickers
Don/t confuse the pigs with civility
Check under your seat, we're giving away tax burdens and SUVs,
bean bag bruises and shattered teeth

Everything's burning,
waste time on an edit and find yourself locked away by a prison state of grammar nazis.

Arms soaked in bleach
Another lost soldier at the beach
Is wasting away, to decay, and decry the war
We're fighting against time,
And the march of progress flies
In the face of every word they've ever said
We all just want to survive, maybe get a little high,
Invest in a family, a home, and clear mind
But the pigs break our shins,
To watch us crawl
The CEO breaks our backs,
For a few more fat stacks
And our mental health comes tumbling after

Kiss my lips and ******* death
Don't give a **** 'bout your last breath
There's nothing else, there's nothing left
And yet, with you, we're stuck, I'll bet
We'll burn in hell and burn full worth
Until it's time for another rebirth
A rising up and rising out
Another child suffered with gout
Twenty years and no one's home
We've found ourselves nowhere to roam
This barren road and empty self
Has run us out with swollen mouth
Wander lost and die alone
I'll meet you again in another funeral home

How am I supposed to write when I'm content?
When my lungs are full, my heart beating rapidly to her rhythm.
I can't claim I'm a victim of neglect, or a victim nevertheless.
***** earth turns desolate so I live where it's fertile and ain't got to worry about sacrosanct.
If you didn't know me then you might think that I've closed myself off a bit,
You might think that even if ya did.
But honestly, I feel like Bowie retreating to the desert to hide away and let the whims of creativity take the reins without so much ******* interference.
Anyway, I left a message on your machine, sorry you can't hear it.
It said I was going for cigarettes and the rest is just history,
So would you mind mailing these dear john letters to the ****** I've bred?
How many little projects I got running around with legs of their own that I ain't even know?
My inbox keeps filling and I'm barely here.
Too many books to write, like literally, I'm backed up on a deadline and procrastinating in free-verse.
I don't like to rehearse what I do, nor do I really outline or heavily plan.
God exists in the unknown, so I do my best to let the unknown through and getting the **** out it's way.
How many people you meet tuck away fifty books in less than two years, paycheck cashed and disappeared again?
About time I get my name on some more of this ****,
Either that or quit,
And I ain't close to done yet.
Success isn't a ladder you climb, it's a cycle.
Innovate,
Change,
Succeed,
Or get down on your ******* knees and gag of life's ****,
You're choice.

I have a tendency of opening my tendons, see
I tend to write til' tensions take intended words and swallow verse
Inside my person I've been riding hearses with infected nurses
Spitting curses at these ******' governmental oversights
And on these nights, when I can write, and swallow frights
I fall in fights and loose my lights and all my rights
Til' try I might, my stomach turning tight, but where does it go from here?
What do you want to hear? Another I love you?
Another I loathe you until' the blood breaks the surface?
I'm a lodestone for your negativity,
A baby Jesus in a burning nativity scene that screams at the seams when reality bends, breaks and shatters
So you can fall back naked on the bed, with a pen in your hand
And suffer for every finger that ran across the barren land of your ignorance.
I'm not a nice a person, but neither are you
And no baby, I ain't attracted to a **** thing about you
But what else is new?

I pulled so ******* these strings
that I tripped and became the martyr.
Tangled up in thoughts of you
and the esoteric things you do
inside my mind are electric.
You're fire, don't ever forget it.
I'm popping another Ritalin
with a caffeinated chase
because I have too many words to write
when all I want to do
is pen another verse
for you to carry inside your purse.
Laying in the back of a hearse
I can't help but wonder if I'm cursed,
stuck in a bubble ready to burst
but what will come first?
Death or words in my heart?