I'm hurting myself a syllable at a time
A memory that unwinds,
But a moment in time
And maybe this is nothing
Maybe nothing is everything, all that'll be, all that screams
At me
But I don't know anymore what I believe, what I need, what I see
I'm gaslighting myself on fire, the flames growing ever higher
Holy matrimony burning this church, I'm a liar
A funeral pyre
And all I desire
A voice on the end of the line, a second in time, to make the clock unwind.
I'm a danger to myself, the worst enemy of my health
But I keep on pushing forward into the unknown,
Keep on pushing further away from you
And everything that might have been
if I had only watched my mouth.
Lies crept out between a harlot's lips
and I drank them like a sweet wine.
I'm still trying to recover everything I've ever been
But too much of it was tied to you.
And it's only now, as I pick the scab, that I see how ******* broken this all has left me.
You're laying this to rest,
While I'm laying it to waste
Away,
Forever away,
Until I close my eyes again
And trace the lines of your smile
The pitch of your laugh, your cadence and grace.
Baby, I'm an ***.
There's so much I can only say in these lines
And I doubt you'll ever actually read 'em.
Maybe that's best, I don't know, but it's all that I've got.
I've been writing the same poem for fifteen years
So yeah, I already know,
Baby, I'm a hack.

Baby watch me, no touch
Ain't got so much to lie
She wants me in four-wheel
With a head like drive

Where you'd go, now no fear
We just ain't got time
Taste and touch my insides
Baby, that ain't no lie

Too weak to speak right
Too much to lie
Double back and get ******
Three holes if got the time

Words don't work
Lick, swallow pride
Following wagging dog now
Tail beside its hind

She ain't all that so tough
She ain't got soul to hide
Daddy dearest beat me
Eat up, watch me die

I'm all lies and bad etiquette
Don't like myself but then again who's head am I in?
Mine or yours?
Mine or my fantasy?
Mine or thine's enemy?
I'm a child of hate, spite and fury...
'cept that's a lie, my mom's an angel and my dad's an influence.
I made myself into whatever the **** I am, so I can't point the blame at them.
But what am I?
I feel like a success and I got the track record to ******* prove it.
But this other part screams I'm nothing.
Isn't nothing all we are?
What makes a man human?
****, what makes a man a man?
We're finally waking up to the idea that this was all a costume party,
Frankly it's about ******* time.
I don't care if you're buddhist, muslim, christian or any other domain,
I'm sick of watching my friends hurt.
It's just another thing I can't control and I'm sick to dying with all this ******* lying.
Maybe one day I'll wake up and forget my name and the simulation will come crashing down.
But since  I think I'm in it, I'd kinda like to win it but without all this ******* regret.

But honestly, I'm as two-faced as they come.
Only it's typically me I'm lying to.
Lately I feel like that's growing
The cracks are showing,
Thank god for comedy, poetry and metaphysical mutilation.
Transgress and live free,
Escape spiritual poverty.

Words flow
Like river tributary
Seldom smooth
Rough tides for rough minds
And in this I'll hide
Intentions true
Is it me or is it you?
Rafting these white waters
Seeking answers
Through the stressing of muscle
The tension in form
Head above
Now under
The water roars
Until the words run dry
We're at the end
With the lessons learned
Oh what lessons learned?

I will fill you with shame,
And devour the taste in leaves on the roof on your mouth,
the roof of your being
                                       and all your insides
I             lie
   won't
Don't confuse the toilet lickers with the boot lickers
Don/t confuse the pigs with civility
Check under your seat, we're giving away tax burdens and SUVs,
bean bag bruises and shattered teeth

Everything's burning,
waste time on an edit and find yourself locked away by a prison state of grammar nazis.

Arms soaked in bleach
Another lost soldier at the beach
Is wasting away, to decay, and decry the war
We're fighting against time,
And the march of progress flies
In the face of every word they've ever said
We all just want to survive, maybe get a little high,
Invest in a family, a home, and clear mind
But the pigs break our shins,
To watch us crawl
The CEO breaks our backs,
For a few more fat stacks
And our mental health comes tumbling after

A better place or a better home
All I know is we're here alone
Blackened skies and wingless cries
Just which of us was it that survived?

Kiss my lips and ******* death
Don't give a **** 'bout your last breath
There's nothing else, there's nothing left
And yet, with you, we're stuck, I'll bet
We'll burn in hell and burn full worth
Until it's time for another rebirth
A rising up and rising out
Another child suffered with gout
Twenty years and no one's home
We've found ourselves nowhere to roam
This barren road and empty self
Has run us out with swollen mouth
Wander lost and die alone
I'll meet you again in another funeral home

How am I supposed to write when I'm content?
When my lungs are full, my heart beating rapidly to her rhythm.
I can't claim I'm a victim of neglect, or a victim nevertheless.
***** earth turns desolate so I live where it's fertile and ain't got to worry about sacrosanct.
If you didn't know me then you might think that I've closed myself off a bit,
You might think that even if ya did.
But honestly, I feel like Bowie retreating to the desert to hide away and let the whims of creativity take the reins without so much ******* interference.
Anyway, I left a message on your machine, sorry you can't hear it.
It said I was going for cigarettes and the rest is just history,
So would you mind mailing these dear john letters to the ****** I've bred?
How many little projects I got running around with legs of their own that I ain't even know?
My inbox keeps filling and I'm barely here.
Too many books to write, like literally, I'm backed up on a deadline and procrastinating in free-verse.
I don't like to rehearse what I do, nor do I really outline or heavily plan.
God exists in the unknown, so I do my best to let the unknown through and getting the **** out it's way.
How many people you meet tuck away fifty books in less than two years, paycheck cashed and disappeared again?
About time I get my name on some more of this ****,
Either that or quit,
And I ain't close to done yet.
Success isn't a ladder you climb, it's a cycle.
Innovate,
Change,
Succeed,
Or get down on your ******* knees and gag of life's ****,
You're choice.

I have a tendency of opening my tendons, see
I tend to write til' tensions take intended words and swallow verse
Inside my person I've been riding hearses with infected nurses
Spitting curses at these ******' governmental oversights
And on these nights, when I can write, and swallow frights
I fall in fights and loose my lights and all my rights
Til' try I might, my stomach turning tight, but where does it go from here?
What do you want to hear? Another I love you?
Another I loathe you until' the blood breaks the surface?
I'm a lodestone for your negativity,
A baby Jesus in a burning nativity scene that screams at the seams when reality bends, breaks and shatters
So you can fall back naked on the bed, with a pen in your hand
And suffer for every finger that ran across the barren land of your ignorance.
I'm not a nice a person, but neither are you
And no baby, I ain't attracted to a **** thing about you
But what else is new?

I pulled so ******* these strings
that I tripped and became the martyr.
Tangled up in thoughts of you
and the esoteric things you do
inside my mind are electric.
You're fire, don't ever forget it.
I'm popping another Ritalin
with a caffeinated chase
because I have too many words to write
when all I want to do
is pen another verse
for you to carry inside your purse.
Laying in the back of a hearse
I can't help but wonder if I'm cursed,
stuck in a bubble ready to burst
but what will come first?
Death or words in my heart?