The first thing I say to a woman
Is I love you. Not because I mean
It in the literal sense,
But because from that moment on
Its the stupidest thing
She will ever witness me do.

I have to be vigilant,
Never letting my darkness
Shine through so I don't appear
Broken. That I might be worth
A moment in her presence
If I am whole.

But Im not.
I brandish my darkness like a trophy.
Because wether or not I like it,
Is apart of me that will always
Be my defining feature.

Considsering I also
Look for love on tinder,
I wouldn't take my words
For more than face value.

"Your writing makes me want to die"
If you weren't aware,
-Mainly because it is impossible
For matter to occupy the same space-
You would understand the
Intention.

My writing is a port city.
A place where I come to trade
All the god ****** darkness
I struggle with into something
Beautiful.

I wont apologize for the words
I speak painting a grim picture
Your glassy eyes don't want to see.

Oh baby,
Bring on that fire
I see in your eyes
When you talk about
Your passions.

Let me feel the thunder
In your chest with my
Fingertips.

Quake under the weight
Of my presence.

Darling,
When I press my lips
To your shoulders,
Its like shattering glass
On my nerve endings.

Its like symmetry;
When our bodies are
Playing bass drums
And creating a tune
For eternity.

Because when Im with you,
Time is only the
Instance in which
We forget ourselves.

Sweetheart,
You leave something
Unobtainable inside of me
When you go home
For the night.

I have never longed
For contact before.
For the embrace of anything
But exsistence.
But *******.

When you bring the fire,
There is nothing that
Quite sums up how desolate
I am when you're gone.

I hope that wherever you are,
You are reading this and remembering
How it felt to be beside me.

Because I can barely remeber
The way your skin tensed under
My fingers. Or how when
The breeze from the open window
Blew through your hair
The aroma of your shampoo
Filled the room.

I dont remember what it was like
To wake up to your voice.
You know, the one I compared
To all the beautiful things
Ive ever known?
I cant remember what it felt like
To hear you tell me you loved
Me for the first time
At that show.

Its been a long time since you
Graced me
With a phone call.
But honestly I cant remember
What I would say if you did.

I forgot what it
Could be like
To just lay next to
Someone and smile.

Or that the presence
Of another person
Wasn't always
A razor's edge;

But something comfortable
You can look forward to.

You left.
That should
have been expected
Because who has
Ever stayed for me.

I know that I
Can be difficult,
I wont use my bruises
As an excuse for myself
Because I have none.

But forgetting
Your name
Wont be easy.
It is on the lips
Of all my lovers,
It is the pressure
That makes diamonds,
It is the tectonic plates
Against my temples
Like a hangover.

You are in everything
That I am.
I hate that I cannot
Hate you.

Time will weather
Me away until
I am no longer rigid
At the mention of your name.

And I will forgive myself
For pushing you away.