Are you down to climb that tree
Or run in the sea with me
At ten past 5
Because we just finished work
Or do you think an art gallery and
Chess might be easier
As it's a winter evening
I hope you don't
Mind but if you say neither
I'll be out of your way

Tomorrow arrives after today
I heard someone say noon will happen
After the morning and then there will
Come a time called the afternoon
Today will be history and I won’t have time
To re live it. I can’t get back that view of the
Tree tops that I didn’t capture in a photograph
Or those opportunities to sound and act upbeat
And confident like my life is all okay
I missed them all I just sat there like my face was
Part of a life drawing class and the movement
Would destroy everyone’s masterpieces
Today is the last day before tomorrow’s day
I don’t know whether to thank or to hide life
Either way tomorrow arrives after today

The days appear easier
They don't hold as many questions
The night seems to enhance and entice me
Ordinary people notice me for
Being ordinary but they welcome me
With bigger arms and longer smiles
The pavement seems less like a
Challenge and more like a mystery
Worth partaking in
My days feel heavy but the light
Feeds through and I don't feel so alone
My sleep is less pained by hardship
And the past is now a space for me
To recharge on my own
There is no question I'm safe and
I'm more secure
My heart feels gift wrapped
My thoughts feel like a future speech
Just waiting to be written down and
Repeated by the crowds
My crown stays up right even if I fall
But there is not a magic key
To unveil the suffering I endure
I have not forgotten the loneliness
I used to feel nor do I feel I can cope
Sometimes at all but there's something
About your eyes and the way we speak
That takes away the fear of this short
Adventure and makes me want to live life
With you and allow myself to flourish
I can't say whether you will always stay
In my world but I hope I never lose this vision
And I want this mindset to stay with me
For as long as it can as time goes on
I hope your hugs arrive more often
As the days go on I don't want to buy a
Wedding dress and list the names to invite
I don't long for a honeymoon to lay and relax
In the sun I hope that what life brings
Is a stronger bond and a beauty that can be seen
By my friends and family
To relieve them from worry
And I wish for you to be yourself and do
Whatever pleases you for if your world collides
With mine I'll be right here to hold your hand
But where force and control belong
My heart does not want to make a home
There is only trust that out lasts disappointment
And if you feel I benefit you as much as you
Benefit me then my moon will always shine
Brighter than the night before

Don't look at him like he is thunder
Like he has struck you with lightening
And your heart is ablaze in flames
Don't look at him like he is
The sun, the moon and the stars
Pretend you are an actor
Pretend you are the sea
Look at him like he is a buoy
And maybe then you'll both float

I'd take you by the hand
And bite my lip
If it ever came to it
I'd listen to you and
Remind the world
Of your grace
For you created
My better half
My slightly amazing
Very annoying
Favourite person
I ever knew

There they stood
Alone at the bus stop
With the lights of the missed one
Moving into the distance
They decide to face the other way
Instead of the watching it fade away
They had got the timing wrong
And from past experience
Watching it hover away
Only reiterates this
The silence is golden
They begin to wait for another to arrive
Because they know it will eventually
Without needing to say

Why am I surprised every time
The voicemail sounds the same
People. They are always the same
Walking and talking
Whenever I am not there
I speak to an agency
They answer with careful wording
All calls are recorded for training
Purposes they say
I speak to myself and listen
To my thoughts they go
Around the same way
Like the earth goes round the sun
They repeat the same patterns
I think back and forward and still
And still my perspective remains
You are always your personality
You are always the same
Even when you change
The humour and the fondness
For your favourite things
Your patterns meeting patterns
Memories meeting memories
I admire the consistency
But consistency is not to be fooled
It cannot create certainty
You have to live without that
When you ring a phone

Not got there yet
Not over that hill
Or through that tunnel
Haven't made it
The pain is always
Around to appear
Spontaneously
Maybe a little
Maybe a lot
It arrives to greet me
Without any invitation
Just when I think
I've gained control
And I say I'm fine now
Good night world
My body hurts again
I don't know why
The doctors don't know
No one does yet
So I lay and rest
And thank my blessings
Until it goes away

I found out I am in control
And I saw the light that
I deserve to be happy
And that I don’t deserve
To suffer uncontrollably
I used to hide behind my door
So this miracle is a quiet one
The best ones always are

So you're telling me
I have to buy a dress
The most expensive I have worn
And never put it on again
To please friends and family
Who love me regardless
And look extra nice
To the one who sees me at my
Most ugly
To prove I am in love?
What if I want to change my mind
Or my hair goes wrong
And the money is too much
Does that mean I do not love
The same as if my hair were right
And I had lots of money
I'd rather be alone than unhappy
And not married than on trial

I told you I will write about this
How we made peace by the river
We sat there and I was talking away
My thoughts to you out loud
I didn’t need a pen or paper
They were racing from the ground
Through me out into the open air
For the trees and your ears only
It felt like pure contentment
The talking led to the truth that I now
Don’t expect anything from you
And I said that’s what I used to do
Then I felt a sudden sense of relief
That I no longer ask from you for
What I need from myself in this life
But consequently as I no longer expect you
Nor do I dream of you or give myself hope
Like I so badly used to repeatedly do
When you arrive after being gone
There’s no suspense or conviction
Afterwards I laughed and said
I don’t know if I’ll see you again
But beneath the humour by the river
In my heart it didn't sound
Like a fun romantic comedy
More like a treacherous melody
With no real substance that sadly
I don't think I want to play

Feelings spread
Down your arms
Across your face
Into your presence
We give it all away
What we do and
Of course what we
Don't do
We tell our tale
We make our mark
Take your time
Silence doesn't have
To be negative
It might just be
That someone feels
It's right for them
So don't expect
Just watch what
People do and be
Then you'll know
A peace within

It's not in my heart
Or my mind
It's beyond my lungs
My veins & my flaws
It's beyond it all
The pain is deep inside
As if my body leads
To the entrance of another world
And it hurts because it's never
Been discovered
It's shiny and new
Full of nature and bloom
My pain lives alone
Beyond my ability to explain

We didn't dig deeper
Than what our conversations allowed
Or use the time to plan ahead
We didn't ask one another
Nothing was said
We didn't hear what we thought
Not enough to tell
We didn't do more than we could
Or lie about what we should
Honesty or laziness
Lack of interest or pride
Interested to know
Won't go into it though

We don't give up
Or lose track
Of each other
And our souls
Somehow stay
Aligned & in sync
We just do things
And talk about
Stuff we like to do
Together, just us
And when it's not
A Lou Reed day
We just do what we
Only know how to do
We carry on
You make it all okay
Because you stay
With me even if
I'm being different
We just do
What people in love do

I laughed at the memory of Mitch saying
Well I think everyone around this circle
Has had a cup of tea made by him
Even if sometimes very questionable looking
I felt happy to be there remembering him
With those people, with those friends
With the memories he gave
He used to play songs even if they skipped
And he would ask me are you okay?
And I would say yes thank you Winston
He had just got some new red boots
I remember him meeting the priest
And asking him do you like my new boots
I will miss him and never forget to remember
Life takes you, it takes you by surprise, it takes you
I woke up today thinking we would be sat in church
Instead I watched the balloons fly away
In loving memory of a great man

A good spiritual connection
Through the silence
When the initial lust is gone
And someone who wants
To walk you home
Just to be sure you will be okay
I like stimulation
Through speculation
Of the world around
And a little taste of adventure
Even in going to the shop
In the rain. I want to feel
Like I'm safe with that person
I might be a little intense
But I've come to the conclusion
I'd be turned on by someone
That wants to see my intensity
And I want to feel they appreciate
What turns me on
Enough to make them try figure it out
And think a little more
Than they usually do

The church bells stay silent
The walls nearest to them sit still
As if waiting for something to move them
And the people in the world
Carry on moving like the ants that they are
When lovers meet
The beauty of the moment is that no one knows
That there marks a shift in their lives
That will change the course of their thoughts
And their outlook on the world forever
Never to be altered back to how it once was
And never to be explained to the naked eye
Of the walls, the people and the world outside them

I will give you my time
And give you parts of my soul
And ask your advice
And seek your approval
And listen to your cries
And wait by your side
Until life turns around
If only you knew what
I’d do for you
Maybe you wouldn’t
Feel so black
And the truth is sometimes
I wish I loved you with a
Love that would make me content
But I don’t, it’s not you
And a part of me thinks
I would sigh in relief if it was
And sigh in despair if it was
But I don’t so I sigh a relief
And a despair and I wait

Do whatever the ******* want
She said to me
And I'll do whatever I want to do too
There's nothing wrong with that
It's the way it should be
And if by coincidence
Our paths align together
We will be
Wild and free

In the heat of the moment
I hear the sun, my mother, say
Listen to your instinct
And it makes me wilt
The thought of solitude
How I flow with the wind
And where I choose to lay
Are all my responsibility
I dream of a field full of rich stimulation
The heartache we feel helps us
To ultimately find what we need
A message to all the flowers out there
"You belong to yourself my dear,
Not someone else's greed."

I miss smoking
Almost in the same way
I miss Amy sing
And Mac Miller
Light up a room
Where did they go
Deep detachment
Of songs unwritten
Powerful lyrics
Being sober
I'm hearing them
Different
I value life more
Ignorance to pain
Is ignorance to peace
You can't take one
Without the other
Everything is alarming
And loud
But I am surviving
Using my third eye
As my guide
Naive enough to think
It's all coming together

I dare you to celebrate yourself
To declare your worth
Like you have a child growing
Inside your body
Nurture your soul
Like an infant is watching
And listening ready to recycle it all
Practice peace and forgiveness
For yourself alone
Befriend patience time and time again
Notice your heart beat
And your desires and don't neglect them
Take pride and be joyful
Step gracefully into new opportunities
Stay safe like a baby is in your care
Like another part of you is out there
In this world trying to do you proud
Respect yourself for survival
Show no strength without weakness
And no weakness without strength
Allow your thoughts to travel
Recognise your flaws and truth
Accept control as an illusion
Give your mind time to be
Own that you are a woman
Responsible, brave, loving and free

Relationships that will always grow
Upwards and around the insights of my mind
Well-known to me, I could keep commentating
For you, for them, for all to see
But forever changing whether or not I know
What I think I do I don’t want to write about him
Or what I feel or thought back then
As tomorrow it might seem irrelevant
And now I am lost for I know not what I thought
As my words are lost in the opinion of others
I want wisdom, I want knowledge and I want writing with purpose
Meaning to change and not accept what I see
I know I know I will know one day
Something stronger than you
Something is out there
Waiting for me to find

And sometimes I wonder what
Tree you’ve climbed and how
High you have chosen to go
What are you seeing right now
Is your view kind to you? I hope
It is and I hope you’d share it
With me, if you could, so easily
As climbing a tree

Thank you for the kisses and
The hellos and the goodbyes
Who am I kidding
That isn't personal it's so generic
I'm actually thankful for your love
And how you cheer me up
No hold on I've done it again
I could hear that in a song
What about this I think I've got it
Let's just say I'm grateful for you
You can't get more specific than that
Can you? Oh **** it, I don't know
I just love you like everyone else
You're my pride and joy etc