There isn't one way
Don't you see
You are moulding yourself
And what you will be
I ask myself why him
What good will he bring
Am I ready
And then like a lightening strike
I'm next to you
Forgetting everything else
That has been and will be
All I say is can we drink tea
Don't you see
I didn't have a choice
My path has asked for you
To walk alongside me
There are no rules
There never have been
But I like to think
You took them all away
And let me be free

The days appear easier
They don't hold as many questions
The night seems to enhance and entice me
Ordinary people notice me for
Being ordinary but they welcome me
With bigger arms and longer smiles
The pavement seems less like a
Challenge and more like a mystery
Worth partaking in
My days feel heavy but the light
Feeds through and I don't feel so alone
My sleep is less pained by hardship
And the past is now a space for me
To recharge on my own
There is no question I'm safe and
I'm more secure
My heart feels gift wrapped
My thoughts feel like a future speech
Just waiting to be written down and
Repeated by the crowds
My crown stays up right even if I fall
But there is not a magic key
To unveil the suffering I endure
I have not forgotten the loneliness
I used to feel nor do I feel I can cope
Sometimes at all but there's something
About your eyes and the way we speak
That takes away the fear of this short
Adventure and makes me want to live life
With you and allow myself to flourish
I can't say whether you will always stay
In my world but I hope I never lose this vision
And I want this mindset to stay with me
For as long as it can as time goes on
I hope your hugs arrive more often
As the days go on I don't want to buy a
Wedding dress and list the names to invite
I don't long for a honeymoon to lay and relax
In the sun I hope that what life brings
Is a stronger bond and a beauty that can be seen
By my friends and family
To relieve them from worry
And I wish for you to be yourself and do
Whatever pleases you for if your world collides
With mine I'll be right here to hold your hand
But where force and control belong
My heart does not want to make a home
There is only trust that out lasts disappointment
And if you feel I benefit you as much as you
Benefit me then my moon will always shine
Brighter than the night before

And suddenly it came to me
How desperately would I miss me
If I was no longer myself

I call upon them
For a little tea party
Destination unknown
I can't give too much away
When they have so much already
And what makes me so special to them?
I might make that the main topic
Of conversation
When we all sit down together
To discuss trivial things like the weather
Because that's all it is and all we are
Conversations going round in circles
And if you think you're important
Or anyone thinks highly of you
Then arrange to meet with them too

Everyone died at work today
Well at least it feels like that anyway
I went to the staff room
And I walked back out pen in hand
Only to find everyone dead
I said is there a god if so why
Have you done this and left me
Living
He replied with little enthusiasm
And said they're not dead
I killed you instead

So you're telling me
I have to buy a dress
The most expensive I have worn
And never put it on again
To please friends and family
Who love me regardless
And look extra nice
To the one who sees me at my
Most ugly
To prove I am in love?
What if I want to change my mind
Or my hair goes wrong
And the money is too much
Does that mean I do not love
The same as if my hair were right
And I had lots of money
I'd rather be alone than unhappy
And not married than on trial

Cemented to the chair
Bound by time
Striding forward
Leap after leap
My imagination is growing
Inside itself
Worlds in worlds
The chance is there
To take
It's racing
Forward
Forward
Forward
Then stop
I move and remember
I am here
Repeat

In the heat of the moment
I hear the sun, my mother, say
Listen to your instinct
And it makes me wilt
The thought of solitude
How I flow with the wind
And where I choose to lay
Are all my responsibility
I dream of a field full of rich stimulation
The heartache we feel helps us
To ultimately find what we need
A message to all the flowers out there
"You belong to yourself my dear,
Not someone else's greed."

I just really haven’t got time
To sit and wait
And wonder am I enough?
For this human being?
Is my mind and soul and body enough?
If you have to question it
It’s no. So, run!
Run like the ******* wind
Because he’ll message again
And then you’ll have to stay sane
But you don’t
Guess what?
You don’t even have to reply

One smile and you’ll be away
Further than my eyes can stay
Time tends to light a fear
Inside us all from day to day
But time can lend us much more
For when I sit and think of you
Our memories will always greet me
Stood waiting at an open door
And in this picture time will paint
I know we will be forever smiling
Together through it all

Quite possibly more than ever
With the way I lay aimlessly
And how I can potter
Without anyone commenting
On my moves or lack of
Or my hair or face or body
I'm in love with the freedom
Of my day and night
Can you tell where I am?
I'm taking a masterclass
It's called 'The art of privacy'

Thank you for the kisses and
The hellos and the goodbyes
Who am I kidding
That isn't personal it's so generic
I'm actually thankful for your love
And how you cheer me up
No hold on I've done it again
I could hear that in a song
What about this I think I've got it
Let's just say I'm grateful for you
You can't get more specific than that
Can you? Oh **** it, I don't know
I just love you like everyone else
You're my pride and joy etc

We don't give up
Or lose track
Of each other
And our souls
Somehow stay
Aligned & in sync
We just do things
And talk about
Stuff we like to do
Together, just us
And when it's not
A Lou Reed day
We just do what we
Only know how to do
We carry on
You make it all okay
Because you stay
With me even if
I'm being different
We just do
What people in love do

Do whatever the ******* want
She said to me
And I'll do whatever I want to do too
There's nothing wrong with that
It's the way it should be
And if by coincidence
Our paths align together
We will be
Wild and free

Love is like flying
And you forget how to walk
So you fly the highest you can
The fastest you can
You fly and you fly
You love and you love

I wish I could watch a film
Of myself alone in Japan
And how I wandered around
Tokyo - lost and transparent
And when I watched
Lost in Translation high
In my square bath tub
I wish I could get back there
To remember more of it
And watch the people go by
Like in a magnificent film
Or the video by The Killers
Read My Mind

So I'm trying
This brand new
Responsible living
The blame is not
On anyone but me
And I'm reaching out
To help people
Help me and cope
In ways I haven't
Thought of on
My own it's a bit
Of a loophole
Seen as I need to
Help myself on
My own in the end
But I thought I'd
Start somewhere
So I picked one
To send a message to
And hear back from
I can only laugh at
The irony it's been
Four of the best days
Life heard and replied
I got no text back

We're all a jump away from suicide
He told me his truth
Led him to try to take himself
No you can't go back in time
Don't take yourself for granted
The rain forest is burning
Hearts are breaking
We are all recognisable beneath it all
Our ability to share is always there
You just don't know
What's behind someone's eyes
To see each other's pain
Is to open up about your own
We're all a compassionate mind
Away from being saved
And an effort of kindness
Is never a waste of time

One day we will sit in the garden
And you will bring me a cup of tea
I'll look at you and say I love you
You'll smile and we'll sit together in silence
Taking in every minute

It just sits in my cupboard
Because understandably not everyone
Likes the idea of me liking
The fact I own a dead human's
Skull but it was passed down
The family for science and it
Belonged to a donor dude
So I'm sure they would have been
Happy it landed somewhere
Grateful in a pair of hands
That want to draw it and
Write about who I imagine it
Could have been and I think
About their style of walk
And how they used to talk
I just like that it's mine and
It's as anonymous to me as I am
To it and all we can do is
Keep it that way and it just sits
There peacefully doing nothing
Being my favourite possession
Anonymously

We didn't dig deeper
Than what our conversations allowed
Or use the time to plan ahead
We didn't ask one another
Nothing was said
We didn't hear what we thought
Not enough to tell
We didn't do more than we could
Or lie about what we should
Honesty or laziness
Lack of interest or pride
Interested to know
Won't go into it though

One thing they wouldn't say
She seized the day
I tend to ponder and wait
Decide when to speak
Those who know me
Would probably tell you
She thought too much
Enough to write it down anyway
I disagree with them though
For those never thinking
Remain dead

And sometimes I wonder what
Tree you’ve climbed and how
High you have chosen to go
What are you seeing right now
Is your view kind to you? I hope
It is and I hope you’d share it
With me, if you could, so easily
As climbing a tree

There they stood
Alone at the bus stop
With the lights of the missed one
Moving into the distance
They decide to face the other way
Instead of the watching it fade away
They had got the timing wrong
And from past experience
Watching it hover away
Only reiterates this
The silence is golden
They begin to wait for another to arrive
Because they know it will eventually
Without needing to say

It isn’t that the hopes and dreams of my future
Have now set sail and are pinned in the corneas
Of your consistent yet unpredictable blinking eyes
I do not long for you to be my every minute of every hour
Nor do I gasp at the thought of dark days or our love
Becoming and ending in disaster
It is enough for me to accept we like to see each other
Just as much as I’d hoped we could and whether you walk away
Or walk near I will know you once felt similar to the mind
I live in as I write this letter
I am content with today and that’s the sound of something greater
I believe in unexpected change and it doesn’t spark the same fear
In my body as it used to - the unknown is inevitable
You aren’t my world you are just in it
The beauty, although not so gracefully executed here
Is that you make it all wonderful
It’s not the idea that ‘the one’ has arrived
To untie all ties and bind old lies
Or that love is looming around the corner
It’s you and you alone
Dismissing diary memories and setting the scene
By forgetting childhood candle wishes
I am letting go of all societies’ expectations
And blowing into those pessimistic faces
The romance to this story is that you are enough for me

Have you got the time
To write about
Why you and I fit
And how you feel
Giving me all you know
There’s a certain magic
That no language can
Understand
I didn’t feel it I didn’t feel
Like your lips were made
For mine
How can it be my soul
Hears yours and
Yet your kiss reminds me
Of all the ones that
Got away
He watches my world
When he’s with me
And I go in overdrive
There’s no cap
On what I say
He wouldn’t hurt me
But I feel in my gut
That somethings not right
How do I find the words
To express my desire to run
I think it was the kiss
Lack of passion
I don’t dream of your face
But I see myself hurting
Through hurting you
So I have to stay positive
I have met you
A man of dreams
With all the conversation
To save a war
But I wasn’t all there
So I couldn’t think straight
How is it I can like you
And not want to be yours