Relationships that will always grow
Upwards and around the insights of my mind
Well-known to me, I could keep commentating
For you, for them, for all to see
But forever changing whether or not I know
What I think I do I don’t want to write about him
Or what I feel or thought back then
As tomorrow it might seem irrelevant
And now I am lost for I know not what I thought
As my words are lost in the opinion of others
I want wisdom, I want knowledge and I want writing with purpose
Meaning to change and not accept what I see
I know I know I will know one day
Something stronger than you
Something is out there
Waiting for me to find

So I guess I'm attracted
To people like you
And the way you grabbed me
And pulled me in
You kissed me in bed
With the confidence
Of a boyfriend
In a three year relationship
Yet there was no sincerity
To your energy
And whatever I do next
It won't heal your inability
To respect me
You don't know I get anxiety
Because of people like you
So you barge in and break down
My walls without any thought
Of the consequence
And of course it comes down to you
Not knowing me
So why do you care
I want a man that makes me
Glad to be a woman not one
That makes me wish
I was born a man
You might hold me right
But you let my mind fall
With no consideration at all
I cannot offer you friendship
Not for what I'd lose to keep you

So you're telling me
I have to buy a dress
The most expensive I have worn
And never put it on again
To please friends and family
Who love me regardless
And look extra nice
To the one who sees me at my
Most ugly
To prove I am in love?
What if I want to change my mind
Or my hair goes wrong
And the money is too much
Does that mean I do not love
The same as if my hair were right
And I had lots of money
I'd rather be alone than unhappy
And not married than on trial

Are you down to climb that tree
Or run in the sea with me
At ten past 5
Because we just finished work
Or do you think an art gallery and
Chess might be easier
As it's a winter evening
I hope you don't
Mind but if you say neither
I'll be out of your way

Don’t do it if you feel alone
Or is that when you should
Take the leap because well
What have you really got to lose?
If it goes you never had it in the first place
I heard you only lose what you cling to
So, tell me, what are you afraid of?
I don’t mean something that you
Feel distant from like death or war
Or some form of illness in the future
I mean right now in this very moment
I want to know about you, yes you
And I want you to know about me too
What makes you feel scared and nervous
What if you get caught out for that secret
That nobody even knows about?
I want to know what you worry about
Would you like to take a leap with me?

I told you I will write about this
How we made peace by the river
We sat there and I was talking away
My thoughts to you out loud
I didn’t need a pen or paper
They were racing from the ground
Through me out into the open air
For the trees and your ears only
It felt like pure contentment
The talking led to the truth that I now
Don’t expect anything from you
And I said that’s what I used to do
Then I felt a sudden sense of relief
That I no longer ask from you for
What I need from myself in this life
But consequently as I no longer expect you
Nor do I dream of you or give myself hope
Like I so badly used to repeatedly do
When you arrive after being gone
There’s no suspense or conviction
Afterwards I laughed and said
I don’t know if I’ll see you again
But beneath the humour by the river
In my heart it didn't sound
Like a fun romantic comedy
More like a treacherous melody
With no real substance that sadly
I don't think I want to play

You're taught to ****
I'm taught to try not to
So when we met
Under the covers
Last night
You tried to ****
And I tried to not
You don't try that hard
To take me out
To wine and dine me
Or to figure me out
You've got a black
Heart baby
Pull out a key
Take the line
Feel my body
I'm just here for the ride
The poetry
Why you tryna
Waste my time
And forget my mind
It's more precious
Than what you're offering
My body's a temple
I don't know you well
But I went along
For the high
For the ride
Pull out the key
You don't know me
Try to take me
Try try try
Why why why