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HeXDee Jan 2020
Alone again in my own space
Trying to catch my solitary face
Here I a still waiting for you
Still I'm alone and all I see is blue.

Sadness can, in times,  **** someone
Despite that, sadness is my way of fun.
It is sadness that make time fly by
But never in my sadness did I cry.

Soft gentle words I speak here,
As soft as the sound of a dropping tear.
Indeed solitude has its own way,
Yet this way is blue even till day.

I wait alone dried up of hope,
Hope that keeps rolling down on a *****.
A hope filled with spikes and rocks.
Still I'm alone in solitude caged up with locks.
Just dug out some old poems, really cringe tbh looking at it now
HeXDee Apr 2019
You
You said you were ugly, you are not.
You said you were worthless, you are not.
You said you were sad and broken, let me help you out.
You said you were feeling down and depress, I'll fix you up.

You make my emotions function continuously, you still do.
You make me loyal with no feeling of remorse, you still do.
You made me feel that there's no one else, you still do.
You left me there standing all alone, you still do.

You are the one that I will keep fighting for, that is my oath.
You are the one that I'm willing to fix, forever and ever.
You are the one that I still wish for, my only dream.
You are the one that can make me fall, my one weakness.

You keep diminishing your self worth, I still believe in you.
You keep saying you are not worth it, I'll make you think otherwise.
You finally recovered from you broken state, I'm very proud of you.
You denied me access to be part of your world, you still do....
HeXDee Mar 2019
Today I'm at my wit's end, it's time to face the noose.
But then someone asked for help, an emotional bruise.
I backed off for a while. I guided them, their day went bright.
I could never leave someone in despair, unlike me who lost his fight.

Today I'm at my wit's end, mixing up my deadly poison.
But then someone asked for help, their relationship gone.
I comforted them for some time. A cliché, the classic affair.
A reminder of a bitter past, a familiar pain we share.

Today I'm at my wit's end, as I stared down from the peek.
But then someone asked for help, they felt lost and weak
I gave them a call, told them it's fine to show weakness
I dare say these words to ease them. I remain distress

Today I'm at my wit's end, this never ending cycle.
I accepted my fate, now to wait for death's sickle
But then no one asked for help. I heard back the voices.
Born to comfort but never be comforted back. I remain hopeless.
It's always the more broken ones that can give you the warmest embrace

I felt the feeling again when I tried to take my own life. Just fight the urge people there is always the recovery period.
HeXDee Mar 2019
I'll continue being the fool until the day you notice.
I'm a jester to be used to entertain, to mend that sadness
Once you finally see, I'll be that knight in your dreams.
Through the darkest hours. I'll make you see your light that gleams.

On the time that we have settled in I shall be your prince.
That one desire your heart deeply clings to ever since.
Until the time I settle in as your husband, the final step.
I shall still be that fool that wished true to the plans I prep.

Oh what a dream, what a wonderful reality would it be.
Now restrained by the madness that only harms me.
I writhe in the pain of this nightmare that haunts.
Only to see salvation in the one that my heart wants.
HeXDee Mar 2019
Stop thinking about her anymore, it's already done.
Stop fantasizing about a happy ending, what is lost is gone.
Look at you, a broken shell once again
Don't look at her, that's where the regret began.

You've sweeten your words but to no avail
Kept your actions swerving, all set to fail.
You've missed your chance, didn't pick up the clues.
Went in a deep dive, only to have the blues.

Acquaintances to friends to you moving in but too naive
There is always a chance, was it right to believe?
You sacrificed for the cause, tried to see things in her eyes.
You changed up for her, you only filled yourself with lies.

Now you are alone trying to seek shelter in the cold
Never learned from the past, back to step one you mold
She's still in my mind, and it's driving me insane
To this day I struggle, my feelings for you remain.
HeXDee Jan 2019
Binabati ako ng umaga ng mga imaheng tila sayo lamang,
Hinehene ako ng gabi ng himig **** matamis lang.
Sa bawat oras sa bawat minuto ikay nasa isip ko
Marinig mo kaya ang harana ko sa kabila ng gulo?

Ikaw ang salamin sa mata kong malabo
Ikaw ang hanging sa buhay ko'y bumubuo
Ngunit sa kabila ng lahat wala ka paring kibo
Ano pa ba ang gagawin upang tayoy mabuo

Hawak ang mikropono akoy aawit
Para lang ang damdamin ko sayoy sumabit
Hawak ang gitara akoy kakanta
Iiyak ako para sa akin ikay mapunta

Ang sining ng araw ay tila yelo kung ikumpara sa yakap mo
Ang sanang pakiramdam na gusto kong matamo
Ang init at lambing ng ating pagmamahalan
Yun lang ang aking tanging kailangan

Ngunit ano itong pader sa pagitan natin?
Anong sigaw pa kaya ang aking gagawin?
Oh irog ko alam kong hindi ka manhid!
Sumigaw ka lang! ang pagmamahal koy ihahatid!

Katahimikan, katahimikan, katahimikan lamang
Segundo minuto oras, bilang, bilang bilang
Katahimikan katahimikan katahimikan nanaman
"Ako ba'y nagkamali at siyay nasaktan"

Tinawag ko ang kanyang ngalan "O irog O aking irog"
Katahimikan katahimikan sa tenga koy bumugbog
Sinigaw ko ang kanyang ngalan lalamunan ay nagdudugo
O irog O irog ko! isang saglit may bumungo.

O mahal ko bakit ngayon lang kita narinig
O mahal ko ako ngayon ay masaya at nanginginig
O irog ko maghintay ka lamang, ang pader ay sirain
Tatlo dalawa isa, tila nawala ang hangin

O irog ko kay tagal kong hinintay ang araw na ito
O mahal ko akoy nagsise sa ating hindi pagtanto
O irog ko ang matamis na yakap na hanap ko
O mahal ko ako narin ay tanging sayo
HeXDee Jan 2019
The same old gestures
The continuous mishaps
No escape forever
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