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It feels like thousands of needles are stabbing my body,
my soul my heart
when I think of
you and I
always being apart.

I miss you sister,
like I don't want to believe, 
 can't even come close to
percieving any reason
for you leaving.
How can this ever build me -
whenever it's done
breaking me down?
Flower petals scattered on the ground.  
Your essence of effortless
pure beauty astounds.
The most Divine woman around.

Why !

  Sister, will this catapult me
into action?
÷.÷
I bust windows
and run in through the flames, 
 as I endlessly scream out your name,
at the top of my cracked voice, swallowed by the chaotic noise
of
Our house -
 on fire ,
the whole world
on fire,
burning,
and crumbling
  splintering,
The pain numbing.

inconceivable destruction,
a vortex of melting wind,

& to what end?

What  could stand after this storm,  
for those who survive,
what all heroic wonders
will your memory inspire?
÷°÷

. My Aquarian angel,
if you believed
this is what it would take
to bring in the new age.
I know you would do it.  
And you would Without any fear.
(Oh my darling!)
If only
I could
have met you on that pier,
if only
I could
have helped you
see crystal clear.

You are so perfect ,
you are so needed- HERE! !

angel,
every drop of advice
you ever gave me,
I promise to heed it.

How can i do this mission without you ?
how can anything be put right
when it has gone so incredibly, irreversibly wrong?

I'll miss you're voice in every song
I ever sing,
every Melody I ever bring
will be for you.
I pray to God you hear it too. .
. .
Every time, Magic Maya, this one's for you, every time.
Every single time.
I'll always miss you, please come through , I'll see you on the other side, Goddess Divine.


Hayleo Liz
Hayleo Liz Poetry
Hayley Elizabeth Redinger
Clarity has claws
Within her pouncing, padding paws
Laps up goat's milk raw
Grapples a teddy bear to songs
Tied to a robe's string
Well, she plays with literally everything-
Her eyes say exactly what she means.

No ****, Clarity is a cat I call to come back
I find myself pleading for her return-
With the promise of a salmon snack,
In exchange for lessons learned,
But I only capture glimpses of her white and black
As she flashes by the doorway,
Always only doing things her own way.

Since her trust is hard-earned,
I coax her cleansing burn.
She climbs up my bare leg
With her razor sharp needles,
First thing in the morning without any warning

Clarity,
Why did I beg you to come near? ! don't tear !
I only wished for your soft vibrations in my ear !
It's so impossible to change your nature
I wasn't bleeding before you were here, but your message is pure

You only come running when you're hungry!

&Would you really eat me if I died?
The way you watch with such wild eyes,
(I'm sad to know I shouldn't be surprised)
Your tapping tail  compromises your position,
Your crystal clear intention
To play with your prey before you ****** and eat them

Clarity,
embodying the way her name hides and smiles, pounces for a scream
as if she were mean!
Sneaks off to surprise her  next unsuspecting victim
-
Tummy full,
Warm purr, a welcome buzz
She comes, she plays with, she eats my ego, she loves, she kneads, she purrs, she leaves, I plead

ah, Clarity

-Hayleo Liz
#hayleoliz
#hayleolizpoetry
Magnetized, re-energized.
Memorized
the sound of your laugh.
You were
Living below the ghost of my past,
Repairing the cracks
and holes punched into soft walls surrounding what was
once a home.
{Could my heart be inhabitable again?}

The vibration of my Voice grows clearer & stronger when you're beside me

I think with more clarity,
I speak with more certainty.

feel an aliveness within the silence that we share.

I never want to miss you, I always want you near.

I feel a calm strength within you.
An iceberg, reaching
depths beneath
the surface inconceivable.
I feed the fire -
that brings summer back ---
Warm the ice with my hands.
(Melt! Release ! From a frozen trap)
...  Snow
Floods down the mountains as a rainbow
Flow
Let go
You know
You've got my soul.


I feel
your smile without opening my eyes.

Let's spend some time
Looking at what we've found
Learn to help each other unwind
Let go of Mind
And just listen to the sound
Of the not so distant waves
Watch the signs sail on by
Only we decide
which option to follow.
What's it all mean,
Love's great mystery.
What it means to you,
what does that mean to me? .
.

-Hayleo Liz
11.30.2018
#hayleolizpoetry
#hayleoliz

Hayley Elizabeth Redinger
Integrating consciousness beyond my
Comprehension.
Mental understanding comes in waves,
Too quickly to even mention.
--
Laughing at myself is a pleasant surprise.
It's not exactly what I expected.

For some reason,  I imagined a scolding, stern tone of disapproval.

Instead, a sense of humor.

I receive a hug of reassurance, a tap on the belly and a gentle nudge to
let go.

----

Some say the heart wants what the heart wants.
I say the soul wants what the soul wants & who the Hell are you, or any one else, to stop it?
Restrict the natural order of the evolution of souls, you, yourself, a soul?
haha no!
delaying it, may be possible,  may be.
for a bit.

Until your scared ego receives a hug of reassurance from the true self,  a gentle tap on the belly and a nudge to let go and flow.
8.8.15
I am OK with this.
This is good.
I am not going to label it.
Why would I need to?
Out of Fear? Possession?
Why should I
Set any rules
Besides
Speaking our Truths
From our Highest Heart&Souls?

-Hayleo Liz
12.12.2018

#hayleolizpoetry
#hayleoliz
Why would you block out your wife?
Do you think I really care about your girlfriend
Stop watching my "boyfriends"
I've ******* my loose ends
& I'm not ******* with anyone else
.
.
.
Rolling a backwood to
Smoke in the back woods
Smoke and cedar fills my heart with what I "should"
Be speaking into my life
For my highest good
If I were doing that
It would create a problem for you

My mind leads you back,
You can't deny
My intentions are ordered by the most high-
Pick up the slack
Climbing never felt so satisfying,
Until you now knew
the top displayed the most beautiful sunrise
The Buzz of a mosquito

Is the sound of something trying to be quiet ,
With a motive ...

to **** your blood
.
It's Impossible to sleep now,
so I Turn on every light .

This poem could go on --

About bugs being attracted to light,
Especially bugs that I don't like.

The slow reach for the tee shirt to roll up-
The satisfying snap, with a primal yell-

Blood on the wall
Lingering guilt after it all,

After a  breath,
I click the lamp off,
and tuck into my warm covers,
My blankie's so soft!
expecting to enjoy such a peaceful rest,

But sensing weight,
Sitting on my chest...
The mosquito thirsty for my blood,
Somehow had took my best..

it's tiny buzz of life nowhere
Within this newfound silence!
One can hardly sleep
Amidst the saddening absence.


-Hayleo Liz

Immediately shopping for mosquito net
3.13.2018
#hayleolizpoetry.#hayleoliz
Hayley Elizabeth Redinger
>reclaiming power does not mean taking anyone else's<


I feel a storm inside of me
I feel a vortex forming
Spinning deeper and deeper,
Spreading wider and wider,
Reaching out to all the edges of the
Universe

I see
cosmic light
Radiate from within it.
I see
All the colors,
And all the dark, mysterious space
Integrating together to Create,
A massive Vision, 
 of Divine Starlight !

I see-
My soul lighting up!
I see-
My soul lighting up!
-
Despite the Worlds' fears,
I can choose
To not be afraid.
Despite the perception of flaws,
I can see the Divine order of all things-
All things !

oh,
It is within you, and it's inside me-
I have crossed over a black sea.
In the water shone,
Starlight !

The small row boat floating my soul -
Seemed to know just which way to go,
Between these two worlds,
Above & Below-
In pure amazement, I ceased to row
In the starlight.
Reflected from the heavens
All through the night.

A gust of wind displaced my hair,
& Reminded me-
Of why I was there,
To keep
Traveling across the sea,.
A colorful island is waiting for me-
I hear bright laughter,
Traveling light.

I will not close my eyes this night,
So as to-
Row, row, row, row on--
To reach the place, where I belong
In the Starlight

(we're starlight
reflecting from the heavens-
all through ,
All through this night)
Hayleo Liz Poetry

11.8.15 original song #hayleoliz
Even in the darkness we rise at steady pace (loop)


&I know her secret
Written on her petals
She shines the brightest
By Her Self

&Drops of water
On Her surface
In the Stillness,  
Holding Light


Circling like a Sunclock in slow-motion
Following the Light x2

-Hayleo Liz Songs
Hayleolizpoetry #hayleolizpoetry

Hayley Elizabeth Redinger
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for the stupid things
That I've done.
I'm sorry that I haven't always
Been there for everyone.
I never said all the things
I really wanted to say.
I wish that I could be a
Hero to all the friends
That I've made.
I'm sorry that I've laid
All these regrets on your head.
They've been clouding up your
Vision, hanging above your bed.
I don't think I've been so
Kind to all the people that
I've met.
I hope they can forgive me
For any cruel things I might
Have said.
I'm sorry I haven't told you
How much you mean to me.
I think about you always
I hope you think fondly of me.
I'm sorry that I hurt you
I want to take away that pain.
Maybe I've been too guarded or
Seeking too much personal gain?
I know that I'm not perfect
But I'm sorry anyway.
I love you so much -
There's so much
I still need To say.

-Hayleo Liz
Hayleolizpoetry #hayleolizpoetry

Hayley Elizabeth Redinger
H.e.r.poetry
to hold your fierce calm, steady gaze
is all the thrill I've ever sought.
to have your image enter my days-
was worth every battle I've ever fought,
every life lesson, the world to me, has ever brought-
Empties my mind of every thought--
ties my tongue up in knots---
i must be a spectacle to watch!
blushing purely from this thrill,
My heart standing still, I give my self away.
seeking nothing, i've earned nothing,
Truly I'd love to be worthy,
*to even behold one fit for such a King.
My flame is visible,
As much as I try to swallow it, to not allow
The dance I feel within,
When I hold your glance, I feel like I
Couldn't not win--
If even just a moment was spent
on a chance.

-Hayleo Liz
9.28.2018
Hayley Elizabeth Redinger

— The End —