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Feb 2015 · 653
Death Of Me
Hawk Flight Feb 2015
As I sit here and write,
I put to rest a part of me
that no longer has relivence in this world

I put to rest the hired Hand,
The addict of the white powder paridise.
The distant man with a heart of ice
pushing away all those he loved.

Gone is that shadow man
Its time to come into the light.
Sep 2014 · 400
Is She Really Gone?
Hawk Flight Sep 2014
Is she really gone?
My little sister
is that door really closed?
Can I still open it?

I've tried and I've tried
To get her back
But pushed away has been the end result

I didn't mean to lose her
I didn't mean to lash out
I didn't mean to **** it up
I didn't mean to break her heart.

Sis if you read this
Please know
I ******* miss you!

Are you really gone?
If I knock on that door
Will you open it up
Will you take me back

Please Fenix
What can I do
to get my little sister back?
Fenix Flight! I have tried everything! sis I miss you! JUST TALK TO ME! Tell me that I can do to gain your trust back and to have you back in my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you know me inside and out! You know how much I hate begging but here I am! Begging you! Please forgive me
Sep 2014 · 382
What Did I Just Do?
Hawk Flight Sep 2014
What did I just do?
Did I really just lose her?
Did my burning candle
just blow out?

Is that door really shut?
Is It really Locked?
Is there another key,
Or am I forever left out in the cold?

I know why I did it.
I know why I pushed her away.
But it doesnt mean I dont Hate it
It doesnt mean I dont regret it.

I made my bed
now I must lay in it.
I made my mistake
now I have to live with it
To my... Well To someone means Alot to me.
Sep 2014 · 357
No More Nice
Hawk Flight Sep 2014
I am done with this *******!
I'm done playing nice.
I'm done running my life
the way everyone else wants it.

I was doing JUST fine before
With no one to take care of but me.
I was doing JUST fine
before she got to me.

I shut my self away from people
Emotions on a lock down
Heart "turned to stone"

So **** all of you

I'm so ******* done with this *******

I'm going back to being the me I use to be
Sep 2014 · 850
Call Me Master
Hawk Flight Sep 2014
BEWARE THIS IS GAY **** MATERIAL!*

Push you down onto your knees
Your hands tied tightly behind you
My manhood waiting for your lips.
Grab your short hair push you forward
Trying not to moan.

******* my hand in your hair
Pushing you back and forth.
You whimper softly taking me fully

Can't take this torture anymore
Needing to bury my love and desire
deep within you.

hands still tied
I flip you over
Your perfect small round *** in the air
waiting for me.

you are mine no one elses*
I smack your *** and kiss it better
Before I claim it as mine.

Burying my love within you
thrusting
moaning
whimpering
Clawing
growling
screaming

Release my love
deep inside.

spin you around
your still in need

take you in my mouth
you quiver beneath me
stuggling against your retrains.
****** your hips pushing deeper
Loving you with my mouth
Realese your love.

Both panting hard
Both still wanting more

what will this day have instore?
Sep 2014 · 852
Don't Leave Me
Hawk Flight Sep 2014
Curling up on the couch
With your arms around my waist
mine around your shoulders,
With your head on my chest
and my feet up on the table.

Dim the lights
Grab that buttered popcorn
and pop that movie in
Curled up on that couch
just you and me.

Twittle we've been together for so long
I was 17 you 14.
7 years to be exact.

Dont Leave me
Dont walk away.
I need you in my life
you are my sanity

Without you there
That couch will be cold
The popcorn stale
the movies bland

Without you here in this house
the walls will echo with your laughter
taunting me day and night.

Twittle I need you
Please dont leave me

I.....
I love you.
My boyfriend is threatening to leave me because I am getting back into jobs that he doesnt approve of.. they are really dangerous types of jobs.
Aug 2014 · 1.4k
Family
Hawk Flight Aug 2014
To me family is:
All the people that mean something to you.
They dont have to be blood.
They dont have to  be the same race, gender, age, religion.
As long as they mean something to you
As long as you love them with everything you have.
That
is what I call
Family.
~~~~~~~~~

So you mean Like you are to me Fenix?
~~~~~~~~~~

Yes Hawk. That is what I mean.
~~~~~~~~

Fenix you know you are my sister.
I love you through and through
You've pulled me out of the gutter more times then I would like to admit.
You've been there for me
And I have tried my hardest to be there for you.
To my children you will Always be Aunty.
To my wife you are consider sister in law.
I will always be your big brother
There to protect you.

~~~~~

Yes Hawk you are my big brother.
Forever
~~~~~

Infinity and beyond
~~~~~

What are we?
Toy story?
~~~~~~

I am Buzzlightyear
Hear me Roar

~~~~~~~~~

Dear Gundi
if your are buzz lightyear
we are all doomed
~~~~~

hums you got a friend in me
~~~~~~

*And this is why we are family
Me and my "little Sister" tried to write a poem. I kind of made it go off course.
I am the Bold Italic, she is just the italic
Her name on here is FENIX FLIGHT
Aug 2014 · 1.3k
Goddess Don't DO This!!!!!
Hawk Flight Aug 2014
Goddess Don't you do this to me!

Magnum is the only father figure
I have in this hell!
Dont you Dare take him from me!

It happened so suddenly!
One minute it was sunny
so he took his harley for a ride
A sudden down pour hit
So he turned it around
for the safety of home.

It was raining so hard
He could barely see
Did not notice he was straying from the road
CRASHED into a big ******* tree

Wrapped his bike around the trunk
Hit his head pretty ******* hard.
No one else around for miles
Laid there knocked out for a few hours.

Somebody found him called 911
In the hospital he now resides.

Broke a few ribs
internal bleeding
In an induced a coma.

Goddess I pray to thee
Please dont take
the only father figure I know
Away from me
A good friend of mine Magnum hit a tree last night (8/6/14) and it is pretty serious. the docters had to stop the internal bleeding and now he is in an induced a coma. the doctors said if he stablazies they will wake him up. I pray to goddess Isis that he stabalizes. He is the only father figure I have ever truly known. So what if he is only 5 years older then me.
Hawk Flight Aug 2014
My six year old daughter yesterday came up to me with a bunch of danilions in her hand. she ran up to me yelling "DADDY DADDY I WANT TO ASK YOU SOMETHING!" I held out my hands and she jumped into them.

Now My six year old can act VERY serious when she wants to. its like she goes from six to twenty-six in a blink.

Now she pulls a serious moment and looks up at me. her Big Green and I do mean green eyes are staring at me all serious. What she said next brought tears to my eye.

  " I love you daddy. Will you marry me?" She asks me. I'm not an emotional guy but THAT brought me to tears. Me. A guy with a very bad past and present being asked by his six year old, if she could marry him. her innocence it kills me.

   "I dont know baby you're going to have to ask mommy on that one, I'm kinda already married to her." I said putting her down. She put her little hands on her hips and stomped her foot, Such little six year old move.

    "Well Not anymore she isnt! I"M marrying you now!" She says and stomps to my room where my wife was. I try hard not to laugh but I'm sorry that was just adorable.

I hear from my bedroom her little voice slightly yelling at my wife (her mom).

"Mommy you are not married to dad anymore! I AM MARRYING HIM!!!" I stand in my door way and see sophia standing infront of her mother who is trying hard not to laugh.

"Oh really is that so? Well then I would gladly love to be the one to marry the two of you." She says scooping  up sophia who tries hard to wiggle out of her arms. a giant smile on her face. she starts chanting 'I'm marry daddy, I'm marrying daddy!"

My wife kaitlyn goes to our daughters room and picks out last years easter dress which is white and pink. She helps put it on her and then puts some pretty pink lipstick on her. THEN they fibnd the dandylions that she drop and well We all go into the living room.

I had put on my best dress shirt jsut for the occaison.

   my wife stands in front of us and trying hard not to laugh "marries" us.

   "Sophia, do you marry him?"

"YES I DO!!!!" she says giggling.

"Ok then you are married to him. you may now hug him."

And my little daughter turns to me and hugs me so hard.

" I Love you daddy I'm so happy we married now!"

" I love you too Sophia, always and forever."

Goddess **** my daughter makes my cold heart melt.
Jul 2014 · 369
The Love Of A Parent
Hawk Flight Jul 2014
The love of a parent is to hard to explain

It's when your life isnt just about you anymore
It's about that tiny human life
that you have created
its when their life becomes
more important then yours

When your universe becomes off kiltered
and slowly revolved away from you
and centered itself around them
They've got you wrapped around thier finger
and thats the way its meant to be.

You would do ANYTHING for them.
Whipe away every tear
Grab your baseball bat and beat the crap
out of the person who created them.

Check under the bed
for those fictitious monsters
just so you can see that fear
dispear from their eyes.

Hold them close
and in your heart.
Selfish thoughts
forever gone
Its not just about you anymore

Its all about them.
Anyone who is a parent knows what I meant.

this is too my Two Daughters.
Jul 2014 · 1.3k
Is breá liom tú
Hawk Flight Jul 2014
Tá tú an réalt ag taitneamh
i mo domhan dorcha

nach bhfuil rud ar bith sa saol seo
Ní ba mhaith liom a dhéanamh ar do shon

Ba mhaith liom dul ar fud an domhain seo
Ba mhaith liom troid ar bith Demon
Má chiallaigh sé tú a choinneáil
ag mo thaobh.

Tá tú mo Shlánaitheoir
Mo shlánú
Mo bheannacht
Ní leor faoi cheilt a dhéanamh mar sin

Is breá liom tú Kaitlyn
le gach snáithín de mo á

Is breá liom tú
Its all in Irish. My wife is Irish and I wanted to write this for her. Look on Google Translate they have the BEST translation of this.
Jul 2014 · 412
July 4th of Many firsts
Hawk Flight Jul 2014
The fireworks explode above my head
lighting up my daughers faces
Arianna wide eyed with fear
Sophia wided eyed with wonder

Kaitlyn met my eye
Smiled at me
knowing what I was thinking.

Fourth of july is my Holiday
something about the fireworks
And seeing my children light up
just like me it made me smile.

Arianna's first 4th of july
Sophia and I's first one together
Kaitlyn and I's first one
As Husband and wife.

My favorite holiday
just got even Better
TO my WIFE and Daughters.
Jun 2014 · 779
The Hawk
Hawk Flight Jun 2014
I am the predator
that flies through the night shadows.
I am the hawk
that will be your undoing.
Thought of this a few years back while I was under the influence of Coke. Its not good but it stuck with me.
Yeah I know the name isnt origianl
Hawk Flight Jun 2014
.
       Taking one last drag off My cig I flick it to the ground and watche the little sparks of flames that shoot off it as it hits the ground. It is 11:00 on a wednesday night and I was parked in a bad part of town in a small conneticcit town. leaning against My beat up old 2003 black ford focus the window in the back seat rolls down.

     "Hawk how long are these guys going to take? Are you sure they're even coming?" Twittle says around a huge *** yawn. I pin him with one of my glares that said Shut the **** up. He pins me with one of his own glares I DARE you written all over it. My heart thuds just a little faster in my chest. All I wanted to do right now was take him home and accept that I dare you challenge. His cocky *** grin showed that he kenw what he was doing to me. I narrow my eyes at him.

      "Watch it boy" I growl and turn my attention back to the deserted parking lot, trying to calm my nerves. What was taking them so long? I figured for cociane addicts the thugs would have been here right on time to get their next fix. My nose burning at the memories of all the times I had felt the rush of a fix. Then up ahead in the glow of a random streetlamp I see three shadowy figures heading our way.

      "Twittle get out of the car they're here" I said and pushed off the car, not waiting for his response,I head in the guys direction. I hear the car door open and slam shut, and within seconds I feel twittles presence right behind me. The three junkies stop a few feet away from us.

       "You.. you got the stuff man?" The man who seemed like the leader said to me. His voice shook and was too high pitched. The guy was already high out of his skull. Just my luck, The high ones were always the worst to deal with, just about the deprived ones. At least that type was easier to manipulate. The ones that were high were too paranoid to pull a fast one over thier heads. I sighed, guess I wasnt going to be getting more then the coke was worth. ****, and I was hoping for a few extra hundreds so I could take twittle out for the night.

         "Yeah yeah I got it right here" I said in my casual, I'm chill there is nothing wrong here voice, a voice one must perfect if they are going to do the type of buisness I do. I pull out the baggie filled with the white powder that they were craving. In the dim lighting I could just make out the wide eyed staring of the guys, the look of raw need and lust. I sympathized with them, I knew that feeling all to well. "Now give me the money and you will get what you came here for" I said still casual, but an underlying threat present. The leader takes a step forward and eyes the drug suspisiciouly.

        "Is it all there? You aint trying to trick us or anything right?" He says paranoia seeping into his words as the drugs already in his system take control of his brain. A sharp anger flares up in me, How Dare he accuse me of cutting corners! I may try to swindle a few extra dollars out of people but I never give them less then what they asked! I quickly squash down the anger, it would do nothing but start a fight.

       "Yes its all here all (wont put real amount) of it. now give me the money" I says trying to surpress my annoyance. I feel Twittle step closer to me and feel his hand on my lower back. showing his silent support. **** these junkies, they needed to give me my ******* money now Before Twittle made me lose my mind. I held out my hand showing the leader I meant buisness and held the drugs out of his reach.  Money then drugs

         "Norm use to give us the goods Then let us give him the money, How about we do it that way." One of the other guys says, the other lackey snickering. I turn my glare to them and they quickly shut up.

         "Well I'm not Norm, I'm better." I say flashing them a deadly grin. The one who made the comment strides up and looks at the goods from a safe distance. Suddenly he whips around to the leader.

        "Man the ******* is trying to play us! Thats not Coke thats ******* FLour!" He screams in a full blown drug fit. My anger flares up again. I may be a crook and a drug dealer but I NEVER Played my customers that way. I always gave them what they wanted, Nothing less nothing more. The leader swore and reaching behind him he draws a gun out. Pointing it straight at me. Outwards I show that this was nothing new to me that it didnt affect me, which was true, I've had guns pulled on me more times then I would like to remember. I felt Twittle tense up behind me and with my free hand I reach around and grabs his, squeezing it to show him everything will be ok.

       "Look guys this is the real ****, Now you can either take it and give me the money or you can just walk away and find a new dealer." I said straining to keep the situation calm. I knew how to disarm the guy if I needed to but with Twittle there I really didnt want to. The leader hesitates for a few seconds but then points the guns at me again.

         "How about you give me the drugs and forget you ever met me." He says his voice laced with drug hysteria. I sigh and shake my head.

       " I would love to boys. But not without my money. Listen this is how its going to happen You're going to pu-" A loud ring fills the air cutting me off mid sentence. A few seconds later a White hot fire burns through my shoulder as the bullet slices through me making me stagger back from the impact. The ******* ****** Shot Me! I've been shot at numerous times, and stabed more times then I could remember, Hell I've walked around for a full day with a small blade stuck in my fourarm and didnt even notice until the pain finally got to me. But never Once had I been actually SHOT!. The pain was blinding and I could feel hot liquid ooze down my arm and knew my shoulder was losing blood.

       "You ******* ******* come here!" I hear Twittle yell and I lift my head just high enough to see him tear after the trio.

       "Twittle... No" I managed to say through the pain, but he didnt hear me. I turned toward the car, I had a gun my self in the glove box If I could get to it and get to the junkies in time maybe I could protect Twittle. I took a few steps and staggered, almost falling forward. My vision was clouding around the edges. Oh for **** sakes Was I really going to pass out? really? I thought angery with my body for being such a whimp. I couldnt pass out now! I had to help Twittle, He could get in serious trouble. I reached the car and fumbled with the car door trying to open it. I lost my balance slightly and slammed my bad shoulder into the window. The white pain intenifying. Biting back a moan I slid down the cars length landing on the ground. I looked at my shoulder and in the dark I could just barely see the dark liquid that covered my entire arm. I looked at my hand and saw the sticky red blood dripping off of it and pooling on the asphalt next to me. I was loosing way to much blood. I tried to stand up but my strength decided just then to desert me. My hearing was going screwy and the black cloud at the edges of my vision was creeping in faster.

   Was I dying? I knew I was. I gave a bitter laugh. Out of all the ways I could die I was going to die at the hands of a coke Addict. Heh I knew coke would somehow be the death of me. NIcole and Kaitlyn were right. To bad I wouldnt be around to tell them. And Twittle, I failed him, I couldnt protect him, If he died tonight with me it was all my fault. He wouldnt know How much I truely loved him. I'm sorry Twittle I think as I wait the agonizing minutes before unconsiousness takes me. Right before I slid under I hear what sounds like someone screaming my name. I struggle to open my eyes, but they are so heavy. WHy are they so ******* heavy? why cant they just open up so I can see who is calling to me! I feel someone grab my face and move it so they can see it.

       "Hawk open your eyes, please baby open them." I hear twittle say, only he sounds like he is miles away from me. I pick up the fear and desperation in his voice. EYES OPEN! SAY SOMETHING! DO ANYTHING! I scream at myself, trying to get my body to move, But the pain takes hold of everything and my body rebels against me and wont do what I want it to do. All I can manage is a small moan of Pain.

         "I'm going to call 911 now ok? Please hang in there Hawk PLease for me" I hear him say. I try to tel him yes I try to reach out to him to hold his hand, but the pain is to much, instead I slip away. unable to hold back the unconsiousness any longer.
My Wife says that if I cant really talk about the night I got shot and almost died then I should try to find a waay that will help me cope. I oddly found writing it into a story helped. so I dont expect this to be any good or for many people to like it. I just needed to get this off my chest. (Shot december of 2013) Twittle is my boyfriend.
Jun 2014 · 510
Pandora's hold
Hawk Flight Jun 2014
Before I met her I was a pathetic man
only sixteen and already hooked on *******,
Doing terrible things for a living,
letting the past surround me like a shadow.
Always keeping others a bay

But then this whisp of a girl
a new teenager of thirteen,
she came plundering in
all left feet and no grace.
Talking to much, spoke her mind.
Stood tall where others hid.

She Smashed down the walls
I had so proudly Built.
She dared to speak of things
that the others shy'd away from.

She didnt put up with my ****.
Refused to believe I wasnt better then this.
She poked and she proded,
until I finally opened up.

She took this loner,
this cold hearted soul
she brought back the child within me
that I thought was forever lost.

Pandora has her hold on me.
She may be my sister,
But she is so much more.
She is my savior
She is my strength

My Hero
To Fenix Flight
Jun 2014 · 955
How Can I Help You?
Hawk Flight Jun 2014
The strongest girl I've ever known
is starting to fall apart.
I can see it in the words
of her poems
I can hear it in her voice
on our calls on her way home from work.

She can deny it all she wants
"Hawk I'm fine knock it the *******"
But I know my Panda way to well,
to let this go

Pandora, Fenix,
My little sister
How can I help you?

I know my life isnt grand
and I know I can barely help myself
But I cant stand to see you like this.

You're the strongest girl I've ever known
Please  
How can I help you?
to Fenix Flight
Jun 2014 · 370
Under A Blood Red Moon
Hawk Flight Jun 2014
I took her out under the blood red moon
music spilling from my Ipod speakers
Outside into my back yard awaits
A table set for just me and her.

Now I'm normally not a romantic
But I know what she likes,
None of the frilly girly stuff
none of that white linen and candle light.

Just a single sunflower in a vase
and two steaming juice steaks.
With Three days grace blaring
now isnt she just the coolest?

We dig in not caring about manners,
laughing and being idiots.
But then I get serious
something I've perfected over the years.

I take her hand
get down on one knee

Marry Me Kaitlyn

Her yes comes in the way
Of a kiss stained with her tears of joy.

and we danced
under the Blood red Moon.
To my Fiance Kaitlyn
Jun 2014 · 543
My sanctuary
Hawk Flight Jun 2014
My life is a living hell
Nightmares crawling
Throughout my skull

The only cure comes
In the form of white powder.

Numbing my senses
To the hellish life I live.  

I crave my cure
But I must resist.
To keep the one
Good thing in my life.

My family

My true cure
They are my strength
My sanctuary.
Hawk Flight Jun 2014
So I see that my poems have started trending. And according to my friend it has to do with the people that follow me.
And as of this moment I have 15 followers (6/3/2014). Cool. So I guess thanks are in order for all of you

1.Sierra Leone  - You were my first follower on here so thank you I apprecaite it.

2. Ranger - You were my second follower. and you are a friend on my "little sister". thanks for the follow

3. Fenix Flight - I am surprised you werent my first follower. BUt regardless, you are the reason I am even on this site so thank you sis.

4. Summer Skye - My fourth and lucky follower. the sister of my "sister" thanks little LF, I am grateful you gave me the honor of being followed by you.

5. Zero Zaneh  - Fifth follower, Thank you man. your work is good.

6. Stace  - sixth follower. we never talk or whatnot, but your work is really good.

7.  IJ Keddie -  seventh follower, thank you. your work is interesting. I like it.

8. Beryldov Lew - eighth follower, thank you. every follow means something to me

9. ᏰέƦẙḽԃṏሁ Լέῳ -  ninth follower. I do not understand your name but i like the work you put up

10. That Asian Josh - tenth follower. (dont take this the wrong way but) We asains must stick together right?. your work is intersting. I enjoy reading it

11. POETIC T - eleventh follower. Marvel? **** yeah man. keep up the cool work

12. Namir- twelvth follower (i cant spell for ****) Dude really it took you this long to follow me -.-. come on, but thanks for it anyway. your work is intense.

13 ISverre G Holter  thirteenth follower. your work is cool. I like it. keep it up

14.PrttyBrd- Fourteenth follower, you started following me last night (6/2/14)  after my poem Life started trending. thank you

15.Nanna Harrow -fifteenth follower, last but not least. you as well started following me last night after my poem Life started trending. thanks for the boost of confedence


There you have it folks. all the people who on here think I am worth something to follow. thanks to each and everyone of you.
sorry for any mispelling. I am half asleep writting all this
and I dont really know how to express my emotions so if it sounds stiff and rude I apologize. I realy do apprecaite all of you. I thought my work was crap. but I guess it isnt. you guys show that.
Jun 2014 · 741
Life
Hawk Flight Jun 2014
Life is a living hell
your breath is the devil
your scars and nightmares are his demons
that he weaved into your head
The bullet that ends your life
is your almighy Savior
May 2014 · 637
Standstill
Hawk Flight May 2014
My life
spinning out of control
faster then I can hold on

Things going wrong
left and right
things keep changing shifting
always in the wrong direction

But finally my life must have gotten tired
of always pulling the rug out from under me
because for once its standing still

I'm able to get up
and put my feet
on solid ground

But with a life like mine
I'm always looking over my shoulder

waiting
just waiting
for it all to be ripped
away from me again.
May 2014 · 427
Close mindness
Hawk Flight May 2014
People Wake the **** up
its the twenty first century
its 2014 for goddess sake

open your minds
and open your ******* eyes

This country
the grand old USA
its free is it not?

People can be who they want
and they can certainly love
whoever they ******* want to love!

If you dont like it
if you dont aprove
KEEP IT TO YOUR ******* SELF

Don't bring your
bigeted close minded selves
into their lives
they are 100% better off without you

But I will let you in on something

GET WITH THE ******* PROGRAM!!!!!
GET OVER IT AND MOVE THE **** ON!!!!!!!
To all the haters and closeminded people I know its rude and crude but hey  
if it changes just ONE persons pres[pective on the world I have helped make it a better place
Hawk Flight May 2014
A little place in the woods
hidden by trees on three sides
Its where we first started hanging out
Its where I taught her how to fight

Its where I watched her grow
from a frightened shy girl
who couldnt defend herself
To a tough as nails woman
Who didnt need a man to protect her
she could protect herself

It was there that I started to feel
It was there that she started
knocking down the walls in me
The walls that had ben in place for years

Its where I fell in love with her
and swore to myself
I wouldnt let anything harm her
I would keep her Pure
I wouldn't let the bad things in life
Taint her.

But then I left
I choose to leave her
and all the promises went down the drain
The bad seeped in
and her halo was tainted Black

I thought leaving would protect her
I thought I was saving her
from a life time of pain

never in a million years
Did I think I meant something to her
I thought it was all just me

Never in a million years
did I think I was important to her
That she needed me in her life

She made me realize
that this life is worth fighting for

And it all started with that hideout in the woods
TO Pandora. To my panda, My "little sister" my Best friend
May 2014 · 595
Violence
Hawk Flight May 2014
The adreniline rush I get
as my fist
connects with
some poor saps face

The thrill I get
When I know
They aint gunna win

The High  I get
When I see
that stark fear
spill into their eyes

What can I say?
I live off of violence
I grew up swimming in it
I crave it
I love it
I know I'm an *******.
Sorry if this deters any of you from reading my stuff.
May 2014 · 437
Arianna Olivia Chan
Hawk Flight May 2014
I wasn't there when you were born
Daddy was struggling to get better
I met you six months ago
for the first time.

I missed your first steps
and your first giggle.
I missed your first word
by only a week.

Your big brown eyes stared up at me
I could tell you were afraid
who is this strange man in this strange bed?
I guess being in the hospital
with wires all attached to me
wasnt the best place to meet.

I'll let you in on a secret.
I was afraid too.
what if she doesnt like me?
What if I fail her?

But you reached out to me
with your short little one year old arms
and I held out my hand to meet yours
Your little hand in mine
so tiny, so Fragile.

Being one you don't know any better
You reached out your other hand
and touched my left eye
where the scars still Stand out

You didnt cry
or try and run away
You looked thoughtful
the way only one years olds can.
does that mean you accepted me?

I missed out on some of the important firsts
But that day with you in my arms touching my face
I promised myself

I would never miss another first again.
Me and my daughters mother were seperated, she was still pregnant when she left.
she told me that she didnt want a drug addict in her childs life. I didnt even
know that I was having a daughter yet.
But I guess when I got shot and it didnt look like I was going to pull through
my friends got in conntact with her and she and my daughter and stepdaughter came to see me
I got to hold my daughter for the first time.
May 2014 · 309
Aftermath
Hawk Flight May 2014
IN the hospital
with my friends all around me
Or well almost all
Shoulder in Massive pain
The docs wont give me the good stuff
what with me being an addict and all

But something is not right
I cant catch my breath
and I feel like I am burning up.

Wait where am I?
Whats happening?
Right hospital
I got shot

My eye lids wont stay open
even though I want them to
My body sags
as if it weights a ton

What the **** is HAPPENING TO ME?
Havent I been through enough
cant a guy catch a ******* BREAK?

I slip into a sleep
half awake half not
I hear voices all around me
I hear a girl crying
Gotta be Angel
Panda and Kaitlyn don't cry like that.

I hear a man speaking
somewhere on my left
his voice is deep
Gotta be Magnum

Why cant I wake up fully?
Why does my body feel so weird.
Like its been lite on fire
Why can't I catch my breath?
Its like I ran a mile or something

Where Am I?
What happened?
Right the hospital
I got shot.

WHAT THE **** IS HAPPENING TO ME???????????
After I got shot and I was in the hospital I caught an infection,
commonly known as Blood Posioning
Three main symptoms, Fever, Excelarated breathing, confusion.
Aint I the lucky one. I got all three. Plus more.
May 2014 · 446
One Bullet is all it Takes
Hawk Flight May 2014
I stand there
With twittle by my side
Waiting for the others
Waiting to make the exchange

They come
High out of their minds
Threatening me
Tell me what I have is a lie

Their leader pulls something out of his coat

GUN

I hear twittle yelling something to me
but I cant hear what he says
my eyes only focus
on the barrel in front of me

Why I didnt run
is a mystery to me

BAM

I've been shot at before
I've been stabbed more times
then I can count

I felt the bullet go through me
I felt myself stagger to the car

Slump against it
trying to hold on

my vision blackening
around the edges

My hearing
disapearing

Is this what its like
To Die?

Twittle?
Where is he?
Will he be ok?

My strength leaves me
And I welcome Death
I got shot last december (12/6/13) through my right shoulder, Clean all the way through. I was rushed to the hopsital and it took them 5 hours to fix me up.
(this use to be my first poem on here but I accidently deleted it when I was trying to edit it my apologies)
May 2014 · 931
I am no king
Hawk Flight May 2014
I am not a king
I will never claim to be
I am not the guy
everyone worships

I am the guy the king calls
when He wants someone dead
I am the assasin that creeps in the dead of night

A gun ever present
always on my person
scars from past fights
covering my body
my face
Scared and mared

A recovering
forever recovering
coke addict

a man not afraid
to Beat the **** out of someone
and then get paid

A hitman
A killer
a monster

the beast under your bed

I am not worthy
of a tittle such as king
When I say hitman....... let me clarify
I dont **** poeple -.- refuse, I will not!!!!
I meant hitman in the sense of I do the ***** work for others.
May 2014 · 669
The Three of Us
Hawk Flight May 2014
SO I'm engaged
to a beautiful women
Kaitlyn

But I'm also dating
this kick *** awsome guy
Twittle

NOW before you start getting upset
before you start accusing me

Oh what a douchbag!
he's cheating on his Fiance!

Stop it
stop it now

to be honest
if you want to get technical
I was dating him first

He doesn't mind
He's actually happy
He never wants to get married

She doesn't mind
She's actually happy
As long as its not another girl

I know its probably selfish of me
I shouldnt be doing this
I don't deserve this

I told them that.
I told them they deserve better
then just half of me

And do you know what they did?
they both ******* smacked in in the face!

They both told me
that they dont care
as long as I love them
they aint going anywhere

What can I do?
but be grateful
they chose me

and treat them BOTH like
the Goddess's they are
Twittle calls him self a goddess so I know he wont mind me calling him one
May 2014 · 416
Twittle
Hawk Flight May 2014
So there is this guy
the one and only guy
I've ever really liked
His name... well nickname
Twittle.

Twittle
He saved me from the brink of death
He was there
when I got shot
He called 911
when I could not

Twittle
His voice is the only thing I heard
as the anesthetic wore off

Twittle
His face was the first thing I saw
when I opened my eyes

Twittle
tears streaming down his face
as he yelled at me in spanish
you scared me half to death

Twittle
and in that second I did something so unlike me
It shocked me, it shocked him,

Twittle
whose tears of fear and joy started breaking my heart
my cold doesnt give a **** heart

Twittle,
I pulled him to me, and in front of everyone
Kissed him square on the lips
Soooo I hadnt told anyone I was bi until after I woke up from the surgery after being shot. I kissed my boyfriend in front of everyone.
Hawk Flight May 2014
I see the car
driving off the cliff
down
down
down
down
it goes.......

But my day didnt start out like that

I woke up
to my mothers sing songing voice
Victor wake up hunny we're going on a trip!

Olivia comes squeeling in
jumping on my bed
Trip! Trip! Trip!
her three year words tumbling out

Getting ready we all hop in the car
Mother
father
son
daughter
in that big old Caravan

where are we going

A cross country trip

Summer time is here
lets make the most of it

We got across a few states
sightseeing as we went
camara flashing
marking our journey

Grab a motel room
spend the night

next day get up
eat breakfast
on the road again

Then it happened.
A moose in the middle of the road
Dont ask me the state
my brain has blacked that out

But it never bothered to block out the accident

Dad tried to aviod it
but it was to big
He hit the back end
and went spinning over the cliff
tumbling down
and down

glass shattering
twigs getting in

the car settles at the bottom
upside and smashed

I try to get my bearing
my six year old self freaking out

SOMETHING attacks my face
To this day I dont know what it is
But now my left eye is dead
my vision destroyed
claw marks rake that side of my face

with blood in my eye
I try to find my parents
They are still not moving

Dads neck is bent funny
so is moms

I hear my sister calling out to me
hanging upside down
reaching out to me

Something is wrong with her chest
She wasnt wearing a red shirt
she was wearing Yellow

dont worry Livy
Everythings gunna be ok

with my promise on my lips
I unbuckle my seatbelt
surprised it still worked

I crawled out of my seat
and to my father
trying not to look at his
dead eyes.
I love you daddy, Goodbye

reach into his pocket
grab his cell phone
whats that number again?
Oh right
911

call it
cry scream
tell the people
HELP ME, HELP OLIVIA
Mommy and daddy went to heaven already

Olivia, shes fading
***** hold on they're coming
Her whimpers stop
and her body goes limp

NOOOOOOOOOO
I shout and scream
shrieking into the night

The flashback fades away
I wake up
in my own room
18 years later

I survived
My whole family didn't

Whoever is out there
God? Alleh, Goddess, Whomever
Why didnt you take me with them?

Why did you have to leave me here?
why did you have to break me?
My first tim ever writing or talking about the accident that killed my whole family when I was only 6. I am the only survivor. the doctors still can't figure out what attacked my face, They suggest that somehow a bird got into the car and clawed my face trying to get out.
May 2014 · 2.5k
I fucked up
Hawk Flight May 2014
I ****** up
I ****** up

I used once more
after swearing up and down
I would never touch the stuff again

In a moment of weakness
IN a moment of pure agony
I got out my white powder
and did my old routine

I'm sorry Kaitlyn
I'm sorry Panda
I'm sorry Arianna
I'm sorry Sofia

Please dont get mad
I ****** up
I know I did
I'll try harder next time
I used again. ****!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry guys
May 2014 · 355
The Anger Within Me
Hawk Flight May 2014
I have this anger within me
Its black and rotten
and filled with a burning hatred

Its what makes my vision go red
and all thoughts fly out of my head

My body tenses as it prepares for a fight
That I know **** well will occur.

This anger lusts for blood
for death and mayhem

Its so easy to give in to it
Let it cover me like a blanket
Heh
a blanket of destruction

It has turned me into a monster
a deadly cruel beast
barely human

Anger issues is an understatment
I'm afraid to let it go.
becuase if I do then I will have to face
all the things I have destoryed
and left in my path
May 2014 · 635
Little LF
Hawk Flight May 2014
Life is a cruel mistress
she will beat you down
then turn around
and tell you its all your fault

She'll twist all your demons
and make them come alive
through waking hours
and sleep

She'll gladly psh your drug of choice
weather its coke
or a razor
alchol
or ***
and scream at you till you use

you want to lay down
and surrender
praying she
will have mercy

Because fighting her saps all your energy
But she is a cold hearted foe
she wont stop
until she wins
and your life is lost

So hold on to your support beams
family
friends
writing
they will be there
they will fight
when you need a time out.

But please
Little LF
dont give up just yet.
little LF means Little Lady fellow. A nickname  I have bestowed upon the sister of a dear and close friend (Fenix)
May 2014 · 257
Would you be proud of me
Hawk Flight May 2014
Mother
Father
Would you be proud of me?
Of the man your little son has become?

Have you seen me?
From you perch in heaven
Have you seen the crimes
I've committed ?

Mother
Im sorry
I know you told me
Never to hurt another

Father
Im sorry
I know you told me
Drugs are hazardous to oneself

Would you both still be proud of me?
If you knew the deeds I have done?
The blood that will forever stain my hands.

Would you understand?
That I am a broken man.
That destruction was my distraction.

Would you be proud of me?
If you knew the misery
I have inflicted on countless others
And I didn't even care?  

Would you understand?
That I turned off my emotions.
Would you understand?
That that was the only way
For me to survive.

I don't have to ask anymore
I know the answer.
Im sorry

You both taught me better then this.
Rest in peace mother and father
May 2014 · 476
miłość mojego życia
Hawk Flight May 2014
jesteś dla mnie wszystkim
Kaitlyn kochanie jesteś dla mnie
moja bratnia dusza.
moje wszystko
zrobiłeś to raz zamrożone
martwe serce bije kolejny
prosimy kopalni do końca tej ziemi?
If you go by google translate you can get the jist of it. Its polish by the way
Hawk Flight May 2014
I've struggled with this for so long
Since I was around hmm 14 or so.
I like girls, Oh trust me I like them.
But I also like......
Boys?
No wait that cant be right!

No it **** well is right
so what does that make me?

B
I
S
E
X
U
A
L
!!!

Sure I hide it for a while
while I was coming to terms
But now I am so here it goes


I AM ******* BISEXUAL
AND **** ******* PROUD OF IT
Hawk Flight May 2014
I can speak 9 different Languages

Japanese
chinese
polish
russian
german
spanish
portugues
French
and English

But I STILL dont know how
to ******* voice my feelings

wow How ****** up is that?
May 2014 · 449
Daddy Times Two (now)
Hawk Flight May 2014
I guess you could say I have two children
One by blood
and one by soul

Arianna Olivia Chan
you were born
1 1/2 years ago
My blood
my family
You've got my eyes
Its kind of scary


Sophia Bridget Broderick
******* you're already 6 years old
I've watched you grow up
Your Daddy would be very proud if he were here today
I know I am
You have become just like a daughter to me

And soon you will be
I promise though
I wont ever try to take his place.

But I am afraid
that I will fail you two
You two beautiful girls

You know I love your mommy
and that I love you too

But with who
and
what
I am
I might end up ******* up

But I wont ever stop trying
to do right by you
To my Daughters
May 2014 · 684
Olivia
Hawk Flight May 2014
I havent spoken of you
Since the day you died
My baby sister
Ripped way
I couldnt save you
I should have saved you
You counted on me
I was your big brother.

The Crash
The car flipping
Once
Twice
Three times
Four

Mom and dad
dead before
we hit the cliff's
floor

I was only Six
you a mere three

You cried out for me
sitting in your carseat
BUT I COULDNT GET TO YOU
my little arms could not ******* reach

I failed you
I failed you
I'm so sorry Olivia

I will never forgive myself
The day my life changed. The day My life become a living Hell.
Hawk Flight May 2014
I use to be lost
an orphan in this world
But then he came around
Magnum
to the mother ******* rescue

He took me under his wing
his black ***** tattered wing

then they started to come

Angel
Broken little doll
with a face so sweet
you wouldnt believe it
when she stabbed you in the back
without a blink of those big doe eyes


Java
****** up
on drugs
Oh he and I would tousle
Did I ever mention
how much I hate him

Gemini
Tough ***** she is
challenged me everwhere I went
My bride to be

POP
**** HIM
If he doesnt stop
that incessant popping Noise
I will POP
him in the **** nose

Twittle
Fiesty spanish gay boy
He is one of the rare people
to make me smile
Glad he's mine

Pandora
She came last to
our broken little family
Pushing me to my limits
Not letting anything slide
I would protect her
with this Pathtic life I have

All these ****** up
individuals
are the only
family I have left

Protecting them
is what I do best
Probably the most emotions you'll see from me
May 2014 · 675
My burning candle
Hawk Flight May 2014
Yes I am engaged
to a beautiful women
the love of my life
She's help me through ****
Hell half of them shes
been right there with me

But even though I love her
and even though I trust her
like I turst so few
there is one person out there
who knows me inside and out

it
scares
me
like
nothing
else
does

Panda

she goes by a different name now

Fenix

somehow she broke through the walls
that no one else could penetrate
she didnt put up with my *******

I am a heartless *******
I dont give a ****
I have no mercy

I dont cry
i dont show emotion
I'm a living
breathing  (Barely)
talking
statue

but her.......

she is a burning candle
in this hellhole
she's strong
she is caring

she is my burning candle
Fenix has her own account on here.
Its Fenix Flight.
Shes good.
real good.
better then I could ever hope to be
May 2014 · 599
White Powder Paradise
Hawk Flight May 2014
Grab the mirror
Grab the dollar bill
Grab my powder

Cut it into
neat little lines
four at a time

Roll up the bill
Andrew Jackson
staring
at me

Lean in
snort it up
Rub my nose

Smile wide
let the numbness
take hold

Numb my brain
Numb my body
But most of all

Numb out all these demons
that keep swimming in my head.
did you know that Coke a cola use to have actual COKE in it?
I use to drink that **** when I was a kid
maybe that was lifes way of telling me
I would be addicted to its Name sake
when I got older.

— The End —