Can I run away
Again
Seems to work in my favor
Now and then
Like the universe comes in
After trouble begins
And prevents me from falling to pieces
If I stayed
But it used to be
It wasn't by choice
By force to keep me moving
When I would much rather stay to feel what came with the pain of a situation
Sometimes
But I always left when a connection was forming
Just another month or two
The bonds would be inseparable
But I'll never know now
Should never look back
They say what's meant for you will return
So I guess none of that was meant for me
I don't want to run away
I'll keep moving
Until something gives me a reason to stay
But even I had to leave that place which sang to my heart
The only one I've ever cried about
Tears have been shed for any person I have lost
Maybe faded from my memory
No never that
Maybe I've faded from them
Because anyone can come to my mind and the communication could have ended when we were 10
If you're wondering why the thought of me keeps you up at night
I'll only apologize for my actions because I'm the one doing the thinking
That's only if we have a connection so strong that it's a possibility
Or maybe that's me imagining what I wish could be
Thinking about you only, only you
There's comfort there
But once you've mastered solitude
You wonder, I've wondered, is that all there is?
Solitude was a retreat for me to find myself in the midst of chaos that caked my mind
Looking for myself in others I tried
But the more that left and I could not rely on
I began looking at me
I've always been one to look in the mirror
But beyond the mirage we paint for ourselves or sculpt into the say of others
That's not only you
And I've seen me
Enough that the outside cannot shake the love filled within me, that self-love, unconditional love
But what is it, if you can't share that with others
It's something
But can be more
It's everything
But can be more
So yeah, I'll say, I'll run away
I'll run towards the bonds that are already set in place for me, because I choose to envision it
I'll run towards the connections that will surprise me because the uncontrollable flow of life is all I know
It's about me, but not only about me
There's a world out there I can run to every which way and I want to get lost and I want to have a plan too
And I'll run towards every new place and human on this one way path
Cause there's bound to be a bond found somewhere
Somewhere

I wonder if bare branches have always given this eery feeling to souls as the months get colder
They remind me of bones
The skin once supple dried away from the change in the air
A sinister hand scrunched in a such a way with a diabolical plan

Leaves just fall

Like a human with no care in the world

Or a soul searching for a home

Like it's timed

Before the next person jumps out of a plane on their first sky dive

Premeditated

Each leaf knows when it's next

To meet the feat

And the fate of other leaves crunching beneath my feet

Floating down in such a way that looks like they're saying "I'm next or wheee wheee" like the little piggy crying all the way home



It's now or now


All in competition for the most creative landing

Categories like most flips before falling to the ground or the most graceful float around

Descending in pairs of two, maybe with the leaf they grew next to

Not in this alone

None

Meeting every family member and neighbor in the same place

All the same fate




I wonder how the strongest leaves feel when all have left the tree and they remain

Through the colder weather

Sometimes through snow

Always through rain

Proud or lonely

Or are they weak?

Afraid to fall and leave the comfort of their roots

Or serving as a symbol and a remembrance of the life of the tree once bearing the greenest of leaves that we all seem to forget about when fall comes

Too fascinated and enraptured by the leaves that change colors because they're different from the norm

Yet we miss them through the winter as we tear them apart

As we walk throughout each day going through what they go through

Falling and shedding as graceful or messy as we can be

With or without someone beside us

Pieces of us we let die and give up for new life

We wait to be reborn with the trees

Until a new season rolls around and we.... marvel over the falling of leaves again



When there is no longer something pretty and new to amuse us

We long for old things

Always coming back full circle, always beginning


Always beginning

Thick fog dissipates, mimicking my clouded mind
Each crowded thought melts away as I walk amongst the sun,
the sky clearing, mono-tone,
but then previews the painted sunset to come when the day ends.
Swirls of rouge and warm orange tinges,
lines of lavender & yellow shades that hint at flowers below me.
I’m running through meadows,
up and down vast valleys farther than I can see,
but I imagine right in front of me.
My thoughts active as the birds that sing in octaves undiscovered,
and insects that shutter & *** in sounds a child would describe in simple mimics, rhymes, stutters.