I miss the days when no one knew
When everyone asked me, what was wrong, and I  s m i l e d, and l i e d, and d i e d, and said nothing.
When It all was a secret
When I was strong.
When I could hide everything.
The pain, the blood, the cuts.
When I wore long sleeved shirts everyday to cover up the scars, that y o u caused.
I did it for
y o u
Even though you walked away, the scars you left were here to stay.
I'm sorry that you b   r  o  k  e my heart, and tore me apart.
If I could love someone else as much as I love you I would.
Because you don't deserve my love, or anyones, you don't deserve the tears, or the blood I've spilt
trying to get you to give two *****, about me, or about anyone else expect yourself.
You don't even deserve this, This morsel of respect, and love and tenderness, and forgiveness, I won't even try anymore, I've given up, you love someone else, and I have to face the facts, you can't love me, this mess of a girl, and I can't believe I'm saying this, after every little thing , but I still *l o v e   y o u

Memories
t w i r l i n g              
w r a p p i n g
around my
            i n s a n i t y
Why did you have to leave me
Why couldn't you give this a try
Why do I still care, cause I certainly shouldn't
After all you have done
After all the tears Ive cryed
Why do I still love you, the one person in this world that continues to hurt me, starve me, abuse me, use me
Just give me a reason
A glimmer of hope
But the question lies in the answer
and my thoughts continue to lie in the word
       Why
               After
Every
Little thing we ever were    
Should I still love you.

At the first rumble of the thunder
You threw me to the grass
Kissing me deeply,
You knew you did not even have to ask
At the second dribble of rain
Your strong hands ripped my shirt
Stroking me softly,
I clawed at the cold, hydrated dirt
At the third strike of bright lightning**
You smiled at my body
Thanking me sweetly,
Our bareness was anything but gaudy

I wish I wasn't
jealous of such
absurd things.