Powers out better part of the day ...
Currently staring at the ceiling
Racked by  the cracking ...
The creaking .......
Heart stabbing  slapping
of my stupid screen door.......
Relentless driving wind.  ....
Hell bent on getting in........
Wearied .....
A little worried......
And then ..............
My phone just died
It's 1........13...AM.....
I'm alone..
I'm hearing things .......
Scratching.......whisky throated whisperings.... scuffling........
Morbid moans.....
Bone chilling symphony from
The wailing cathedrals of woe......
Finally there's no more...
  of  the tap tap tapping on the widow.......
Which took all my will to ignore .....
Footsteps on the roof ........
Crash and thud........
Outside my front door.......then like a slow metronome
The pounding ....
Slurring painful groans
At first incoherent...
I SCREAM "
LEAVE ME ALONE ....
THIS IS MY HOME ....."
I begin to understand ...
And I creep across the living room floor .....
It's saying" open the door ,
It's love and the reapers right behind me let me in.........
Finally I can take it no more ....
Butcher knife in hand ....
I rip open the door....
..
And there is nothing more.......
Nothing more than a mirror with me in it........alone and lonely
Except for ........behind me
I can see
A reflection of the SABOTEUR....
The REAPER.......
Shoving a butcher knife in my back .
In retrospect
I  flash back on my relationships of the past
...and it's me .......
Self sabotaging

And the lights come on .....
Metaphorically......
Like an EPIPHONE.

Too fast .....



.........
????????????




Now I'm thinking.....
.......
....
.  
Is it ......
Or is it  knot .....
A good thing

Let me let you....
Fall in
And then......... .
Thank you I got this ....
Ill take it from here......

Without histoy...
Who should believe...
Surely not us....
Within what we say
We feel is veracious....
Unfortunately  what people
See.....
Won't allow them to feel that way
Your character is always there before you...  .
It wears what it has to
Not what you tell it too.....
Its usually what someone said about you......

To Picture me,,
Not in love
Would be blaspheme,
And yet I sit
In reflection,
Recompensed by transgressions.....
Committed and convicted of after being forewarned......

Un fathomed .
..forgotten
Forlorned
Chalice full of scorn
Crestfallen
Mourned by the dead.....
Reduced to
Sit in sacloth
Pouring ashes on my head...
Like a pig on a spit
Basted with unsavory things I've done
Seducing  Karma was easy.......
A ruddy little nerd,
Told her she was pretty
The starving little dog ate every word.......
Filtered her eyes with poetry.....
I played the field....
Unconcerned....

Convinced her I was the one... ....
On the day we were to be wed
Fleeced her of everything
Left her at the alter without my vows being said......
now she's Obsessed
No good deed goes unpunished
I'm hex, vexed and hazed...
every glib quip spake
Or every woman that says goodbye to  me.
It's her face I see!
Knuckles
Bleed
Racked with splinters...
Railing loves door...
Afraid to let me in...

born for this chase.......let the race begin...
my heart to carry me
But my souls worn
Thin

..grasping for straws gasping for air.  
Used to return from the forge strengthened shiny ,glistening......
Clean.....
Now I'm the dross.

Fin...
..
.

.

Macerating in an addictive lifestyle,
Low key, complacent.......
At least appear to be,
Meanwhile
proverbial metaphorical analogy
The epic  inner turmoil
A gurgling cauldron of turbid water laced with ecstacy,
tupac,poprocks
ipecac, and Deepak chopra on **** amphetamine,,,,
I'm in a padded room a straight jacket
A handful of Vaseline,
And the walls are covered with *******
This makes my feel bad
MMMMMMMMMMM-KAAaaayy!
My.. psyche........ c.r..a...c....king
½- time skrrrrrrt....
K WAIT!
Psychiatrist please.....,..
No WAIT WAIT WAIT!
That's me ........
Psychologist please.......
Ya no.......no I know I KNOW!!!!!
What is it?
????
Ok ok ok gulp............
Oh .>......,huh!.....
Ok that's better
In retrospect I suppose I could either
Exccaserbate or exfoliate and extrapolate
That these things and occurrences in which
I am not only forced to pause
But also
I'm givin cause to say........
I knew this was going to happen!!!!!
Is not clairvoyance or esp.
It's the innate ability to see I have limited control of these things
.......
Meaning I can choose whether not to cause them ,
At epicenter ,,,,,
And controll impact and reaction in the second wave,
Rarely third wave and nothing beyond to infinity
And it's after the fourth wave when
actions ,deeds,and words heard
Get filled and covered in embellishments
Picked up and slung by our enemies,
Become festering lesions on our character
For everyone but us to see.......
.......
..
Everybody's gota be so **** polite
Nobody says a **** thing........
Well not to you......
Not face to face.
No no no,,,
Not these days .....
Behind your back?
Oh they just can't wait?
Then they're all about it
Taking **** rumor mongers
Backbiting chiding frenemies
Slinging mud day and night!