Intentions null and void.
The amount of time
You can put on your hands.
If solely spent on you.....
Increase exponentialy
In tandem the trouble
You could get in.......
And if spent selflessly to help another in desperate need.
Double or don't do it ......
No good deed.
Will go unpunished.....
Remember you read it here....

Divide that by two if you are single....
And divide that by ten
If you tell no one .

Slam...
Started with.  
Hand to hand.
Then .....
Bam! BAM!!
Escalation.......
Clubbing!!!!
Rocks and sticks....
Swords and arrows.....
Wage the siege feed the greed
Protect the bloodline
Tribes  and territories turned country's .......
Expanding.........enslaving.....
Gold
HOLD your ground ......here it comes
BANG BANG BANG!!
Gunpowder .
Here we grow again!!!!!!
Power.
Bigger better killing things ...
Mmmmmmm him likes these things!
In the name of glory and honor....
Manifest destiny  
Whatever the means ..
To hell with consequences
**** killKILLKILLKILL .
Sometimes it's to keep our things....
Other time it's ........well.......
Let's say behind propagandas. ....
Natural resources needed
To sway or stay in the game...
SO..... if your not competitive
I mean you know .....like
Not "THAT" competitive.....
Then ....what.  
I'm just wondering where exactly is the checkered flag ......
For this human race.......
And the criteria?
Is it last one stabbing?
Er.....sorry standing?
What do we get for a prize ?
Who's gonna present it ....
Then what?
Start a new race ?
Just saying ........
When can we petition to
Turn the power into a collective think tank with the communal goal for the well being
...
We seem to take small minded
Stupidities handed down from the powers that perpetuate half lies.  
To fuel the machine .....
Leading into the pits of hell ......
And they watch from their armchairs.
Rolling up sleeves with knifes in hand ......
Grunt and dig in to the T-bone
On their dinner plate....
And the hostess brings a nice bottle
Of chianti.....
Rough day........?
Could be worse......you could be sitting in a pool of oil .........
And you don't have anyway to keep it.

When you have to try,
To..........
Be cool,
Look cool
Or feel cool
Then usually
You can't have all three
At the same time
Because they won't coincide
Best off to just be you...
Unless ........
You're me
An if that's the case ....
Then yah.  
You're gonna wanna be me.
Trust me ..
I even wanna be me!

Sad song looms....
Gray consumes blue hues..........
Horizontally I lean into....
A burgeoning
Bellicose  wind .

Lightning blooms strobe
Early nights sky........
Echoing visions
Diluted by time
Less frequent I see.
Causes  Increase in gravity.
Pressure builds ,
Disguising the difference between
Fate and destiny .
Unstable ......
A paradoxical paradigm
I find ......
In order to mend.
Fabricate an illusion
An era when things seemed right.
Which is difficult when you are un able to understand when you've been.
Carefully.  Easy...  Eaazzzyyyy,
Shhhh... Take off the training wheels ...
K.......
Ok.....
You got this....

Stabilize.......

Then.....
Flash .......
Fallen into the past again,
Lost in reminiscing
Inner child despondent,
I play ,stray ,medicate ,
Running from string tied to my heels...
From my mind's eye  
Depicting  interpretations
From days filled with unconditional love.    ......endless summers
Non SPF sunscreen
Fishing and wanderlust fun......
With one crucial expectation!
The one .........

pictures painted
By Elders,and mentors
Betrothed ...........
Bound by contract .......the future....

" me "
I still could be,
Fast forward.  
Lightning flashes
Illuminating my destiny
Crashing thunder......
Underlines my path to fate
Just under the horizon of my psyche
The crushing  
 echoing vision .......
I'm chasing this fantasy ......
Further and further .....
Into some sort of philanthropic
martyred schism ......
And I'm failing in....
Fail forced winds .....
Taking me
Leeward from where I've been.
I Return to comfort.......
Slither back into
My Machiavellian realm.........
Crochet blanket made of qiviut and porcupine quill
Luxurious........
If you stay still
A cold brume looms
Patiently waits before setting in.....
Always reminds me of that old saying .......
Into everyone's life some rain will fall........
Ionization ......
In the air I smell ,
Wells fill.......
Dollops of saline fall
Spattering..........
mimick
pattering of raindrops
rhythmically
 Shhhhhhhhhh!.......
Que the violins...........
Fade to black and white...........
down  
Downed,

Love lorn loon
(Ex-wife ,playing her part ..........
Hauntingly ....
Honestly I love her so desperately,
Makes it easy to play my part.  
Even though I know that her love is not real...........
My tears flow . ..........
Because I really don't know .....
If she knows.   ........and if so.      
Either way.    .....
Its killing me.     ........
Crazy thing ?...........?......
Shhhhh....!
((oh yah sorry let's return to the movie.))
Weary
calls for her drake.

I know  my lost love
My heart still yearns for you to....
I should have stayed and taken the pain
you had received before me.....
Which you refracted onto me......

If it helps .....
I'm alone and cold   ...
My life long song......
Has quietly
Been .....
Sung................
Each love taking it more out of ...
....tune.        
(Fade to dark grey..............make it grainy.              
Start the rain.      
Slowly ......
Darken till all you see is my lonely
Silhouette.. )          
..
FIN.
......
....
...
..
.

There is a point within
Your acceptability.
A veil . .
Cloaked from the guiding light....
Where certain key things
Unfortunately are
Exactly what you don't want to believe . ......
That terror holds the key
To your everything!

What do you believe?
What do you need?
what do you think?
You want someone to be .......
You will expect nothing shy of excellence ,and you really think anyone will settle for less   .....
Your acceptance is based upon
What you think the world will use to evaluate your status....... Meanwhile as you swoon the ones who look down on you     .... And shun the ones who love just to be seen with you .....
You should consider this.....
How many breaths do you have left?
You'll never know until you leave
Will you ever
Of course you will ...
As you sit and pray that your enemies won't see the light of day .......
Like a mirror ...
Under the same **** moon ....
On their knees asking the same **** thing ..........
Because of what they believe..... Because we are the same **** thing ...........
We just learnt differently.....
And we talk differently
And our colors and traits
Vary a little ..........
We all  laugh with our family
Cry when our loved ones
Are murdered ....
Because the governments want something you got.......
.... Sigh..............
I'm sorry for what we do.......
How many will die for lies   .?

The mainstay ......
Every day ...
sell my dreams .
meditate in my sleep .
Over analyse ....,
Half liked.
In with apprehensive ease
My stay???.. .... Brief ....
Usually
Hear griefs ,
Fill the harpoon with  burdens
Quietly take my leave......
Knowing half the halfwits
Won't remember these emergencies gifted me.....
Unorthodox ......
Keeper of my word .....
To a fault
Loner ,
sojourn outside the box,
Network ...
My life is like a spiders web ..
Rome in the gloaming.....
At every connection
Give twice as receive.......
Understander of deep secretive things .........
Love everyone  .....
For underneath all the flex
And masquerade  .....
I see the inner hidden trauma
That shatters the innocent
They used to be.......
Mediator .......
Take the stripes    
The drama calmer   .....
Stripping my abilities....
Reprobate overload ....
Mistaking my love for dumb..
Empathy becoming numb
Increasing difficulties.
In the shade of this
Burgeoning rage
Splintering psyche..
Buffeting   ..... Snide smirks
Remarks these back bitters ...
Twist and reverse my good works.........
What's worse ........
Depravity.......
This habitat of philanthropy
Giving my life hoping to be
The change in this world
I want to see .
Never ..
Never occurred to me
Un-understander-er-er
Of the power of
Perversity......
Cabin fever ...... Feeling
.............
Feelings I dont recognize...
Wounded ........ Need to
Be out of this cage.......
They put me in .......
Their words like sharp sticks...
Sneering taking pleasure ...
Poking and stoning.....
Impossible to defend against a negative.......
People wanna believe bad
Guilty until proven guilty......
Probably ......
Don't want to see good   ......
This would let the world see how wrong they have come to be
Desire to just be me .....
Lost it's appeal .....
Dark things
Cauldron of maddening calamity
Eyes reddening    .....
Intensity of insanity  ...
Flames of incongruity
Licking me inappropriately.
Brain itching,
Paradigm glitch .....
Tied died in ratsbane .....
******* away my time .....
Hearing myself hissing ....
bellicose animosity....
With verbose velocity,  
10 fold recompense the pain inflicted upon me .....
Stupidity.......
When they are nice to me ....
That magically dissipates ......
Cloaking the fact that
Their only nice when they use me......
Un amusing........
Kinda.....
Dont mind me .....
Sick of people ...
Just venting...
Wondering if im the only one....