Considering worth ..........
Comes with difficulties
In perception.
Influxuation....
In variable depths leave
Seniments
Of subtle deception,
don't believe
What the looking  glass says  .....when
Looked darkly into .......
Brings out dark distractions.....
In reflection feelings are refractions.
reactions  which don't match intentions
Elongating the pendulums
Undulation
While we swing through the
Gauntlet between write
And rong ......
We loose sight .  ....... ........ And like a vapor
We are gone.  ...
Taking someone's world with us..........
.. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..
Those that aren't worth their weight in salt...........insult
Those that actually are.........
Being braggadocios
Over exaggerating
The exact opposite of
What they claim to be......
Trust and believe.........
Their actions merit pitty  
After expiration......
Pleading for a stay of execution    .......
Beneath the throne..
Of the King of hate.............
As epochs roll on and on in
At the bottom of the furnace
the rotten  
Underbelly
Of the forgotten
Receiving
No clemency
For eternity.
...... ..... ..... .....  
You are worth more than you can understand ....
Live with it like you deserve it.

Don't take someone you don't want because you feel like that's all you can get cause ........
What you'll get is people that will take you .....
That's a lifetime of regret ....  

Never settle .....and just take what you can get . .
And keep that person's love
Untill something you want more comes along......

Because you will create a rift and an undercurrent .....that will take you. .
And it shall
Take you places you don't want to go.........
And when you go
You can never come back again . ............
Don't be
Unsettled

He said
Son.....
When your tough .....
You be greatful
You hear me?.
Don go get all proudfull bout it ......
Just be humble and shine when you can ..
We might be  in chaos ...
I'm gonna
Enlighten you to the natural order ....
You go brag
And prides gonna come back on you like a viper.....
Tough as you are there is always gonna be one tougher.
No one like to stand down  
Or loose....
An who likes to hang with losers  ..
Cept loosers..
Keep it humble . And take this time of ease ..  to get smarter...
And don't brag on this neither...
Cause there's always someone smarter.... And if they're ain't
Then there's ones who are
.........
Smart enough to no that most aren't smart enough to see through a lie...
And they take you with trickery
And nobody but you can understand it.
So
Be smart enough to be tougher than anyone .. ..
But tell  no
one.
And be tough enough to be the smartest
And pretend not to be  ......
When you can master these and be humble and gracious .....and share you're gifts.
You shall have a good life....
Let me do bragging........
I'm old but never to old to
Whoop you you smart *** .

A bit of a purple ****** Ident it? A little fingernail pinch on the inner tricep......
Holiday' ..........
Ohhhhh yeah!
Memories ......
If I could just have these
I would be at ease withy miseries............
But no . .....
Torn open like a long eared bunny.......
I lay still . ....
Tryin to keep dignified a put my pieces back inside..
Meanwhile ....... Hyena's to the left of me......
Jackals to the right........
And here I am
In misery ......
Silver lining .
Might be my last one........
...yeah me!?!



.
.
Well see!
.....
...
..
.
Ok I kid ......
I does kinda feel good
To be wanted .... Even if it's just for   .......
Naw it's just good.
Merry holiday .. an all that ....... Ya'allllll

Intrinsic ,
My matrix.....
interwoven with twines of self sabotage and
Delusions of grandeur.
Like an intricate macrame....
Passion for perfection hate confrentation..an empath
Neurological anomoly
  high
IQ.........
So I do
to have a greater understanding
Of the meaning of loneliness ........
And in duress
imbued  
Great anti-social skills..  
I never will give up......
And when I don't .
I know I will
Regret........
more me time than most ....
Which honestly .....
It's probably best ........
Time passes while I over analyze,and practice.......
I pre assemble
And run scenarios in my mind ... .
Over and over and over .....  
I can see it I can be real about it .....
Foresee problematic
intricacies and extrapolate
Ramifications ........as the subtle beast slips in to ruin all these perfectly planned and plotted ......
Things......
In mid stream
Im sabatoged
To my knees on front street intentions of great self sacrifice and
Benevolence
Thrown to the four winds  .....
Errybody  got to walk by the stupid kid . ....
Nit picken up in the cool aid ......put themselves up on a pedestal ....while I go all mentally ......  

Woe....... Count to ten   .....
Before I wind up in solitary ....confinement ....then again ..... I bet I can .....naw ...... Forget it

Both lids locked down
Rock solid
My escape .....
Not a sound
Still and silent
I take a quick psychic flight...... . ..
I can't achieve
Break away speed ..    ...
I feel a .......
Disturbance ....and I'm drawn to it.....
Something
On the horizon
I touch down near it......
Without light, my mind's eye
Cajoles the
Delicate silleoutte of an effigy...... In depths of cerulean hues.
It's my spirit ..
......... Weeping.
I loom slowly closer ...
As so,.... you know.. ,
I want to see it in it's genuineness.....
I reach out and it bursts before me silvery red flashes  .....in my mind and Im spiritually blind. ....and at the same time
Catapulting me at epic speeds to the surface.......
The physical realm   .......
Now my eyes see ...... .
I've been for some time in stigmata   .....
Fearfully full of random reoccurring   stupid things .......
Lachrymose
Almost to the point of recluse........
I suppose drove me to this
Exclusive fear fracture .....up here
A monolithic
Slab of frozen  stone
perched above
The town of Index....  
My fantasy go too town......
Town I long to be......full of gold and mystery.......
So much history ....and it's rugged unchanged beauty ... ..... protected by the quirky people's who live there........
High......
Really  really high.....
And so high above the world ..... Winter ish
Magnificent sunset  deep expanses of coral saturating into almost black...
I can't see the town though...
Not yet anyway......
Alone  on  this piece of intrusive batholith
I can't help but notice it......
ever so slightly grades toward the edge......
And the dark lurking  cumulous nimbus devouring precious daylight....
another three steps   ssssssssss
Is
All I need ..  .
In trepidation
I scoff at the mundane which put me in subjection.........leaving me without a choice .........
Daring me ...
And here we are I reluctantly forced the first step and felt as though I might step it up.
so to speak ..... And about to stride to the second step... and a eagle flew just above at me .....
Squelched out
A healthy screech!
Startled would be an understatement.
I
I
I
I
I
  stopped so quick .....
I slipped
....and horizontal.
Looking at my feet and the skyline .....threw my phone straight up
( I know this because when I hit the ground it then bounced of my face......)
Took my wind away  and
Oh my God the view was epic...........
The ice was desperately slick.......
And nothing to lay a grip on
I froze in more ways than one
...........
.....I slid limp my body followed every contour to the the the precipice ....satisfied with my life .....
Although not all together pleased with what I had done with it....
I gave in and let go........
The wind rushing by accelerating....  ...whistle frequency and amplitude increasing ......
ex·hil·a·rat·ing.
Then fear mixed in
In anticipation
Of impact ......
I flexed every muscle to the extreme      ..
Clinched to the max .......thought I could somehow escape,
if I could shake the heavens ,
with a primate like scream ..    .
I did......
It did . .....I hit hard  .......
I was so tight I bounced ..    .screams so loud  ........I
I    .    I'm a awake  
Where am I ?
I'm awake
I'm alive.....
I.......
Was standing   .......
On carpet    ...
In my living room.....
Is this.....
I mean was that ...
Could it have been a dream....
I look to the right
Cliff hanger on the flat screem   . . Neighbors porch lights all
Coming on.....
One of them on my lawn .... the only thing I got on....
is      I guess nachos.......
Close the blinds
*** sure everyone everything's ayite.....back to the couch....
TV .....
Restless leg syndrome .....
Ill get over this
Mid life thing

Out of this rut.......
Watch me ....I'll do it alone ......
I got this .....I'll be back
The Mac .  .
In the Groove
With a gangster lean ...up to speed ....check my strut     G!
But you know what B    
I'm gonna doit my way      .....
Baby steps ....
No frozen mountain top  selfies en ****

Hall knaw    
Uj
Uh awe    naw way....
F that  peace I'm out ......
Not that far out  ..  
Just  ... You . K.n o..........o....